When Jerry Orbach passed away a week or so ago, he had only completed three of the first six episodes of the latest spin-off from 'Law & Order', 'Trial By Jury'. Luckily for us who were fans of his work, we'll be able to see these when the show premieres in March. And we'll be able to say goodbye one more time to a great TV character.
But TV is a business, and I get this feeling that even as Orbach was dying, the suits were already trying to figure out who should replace him on the show. Not as Lennie Briscoe, obviously, but as another seasoned, veteran detective now retired and working for the D.A.'s office.
It would have to be somebody with the "oomph" to convey the experience of a cop who had seen it all in NYC, I would think. An actor who generated not only star power, but also the believability of his character's years in the trenches.
The other day the New York Daily News published pictures of those celebrities who attended Jerry Orbach's memorial service. And among them was an actor who worked with him in a movie back in the late 1980s. And just looking at him in his trenchcoat as he entered the chapel convinced me that the producers of 'Law & Order: Trial By Jury' should at least consider this suggestion, if not actually approach him with an offer.
Brian Dennehy.
Like I said, it's just a suggestion. But I think it's a winner from the perspective of not only the producers - who would be getting a powerhouse of an actor, - and of Mr. Dennehy - who would have the luxury of a settled location for working and in the heart of the theatre world to boot! - but also from the vantage point of the audience.
Hopefully somehow this suggestion has already come to mind for those who have some say in the casting......
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Monday, January 3, 2005
Sunday, January 2, 2005
JUST ONE MORE THING....
To kick off the yearlong birthday honors list of inductees into the TV Crossover Hall of Fame, and because the theme for January is TV Classics, we have chosen the most famous TV detective known only by one name - Columbo.
He's been a legendary TV icon for over 30 years, recognized the world over by his shabby raincoat, cheap cigar, and the shuffling demeanor that has tripped up nearly all of his suspects.
In the TV Universe, Lt. Columbo (as played by Peter Falk) first appeared in a pilot movie 'Prescription Murder' which was based on a Broadway-bound play by Levinson & Link. (This play had earlier been made for TV as "Enough Rope", an episode of 'Suspense' with Bert Freed as Columbo.)
A second pilot was ordered which brought forth 'Ransom For A Dead Man'. This led to the inclusion of 'Columbo' into the 'NBC Sunday Night Mystery' wheel, along with 'McCloud' and 'Macmillan & Wife', among others.
Years after 'Columbo' finally left the airwaves of the Peacock network, the police lieutenant showed up, older and even more rumpled, at ABC in a series of specials that continue to this day.
There is a format to 'Columbo' that can be as tradition-bound as some religious ceremonies. For instance, in the best episodes, the murderer is tripped up by either that which he killed for in the first place, or by something that he loves the most.
Those few experimental episodes that have strayed from the classic style ('Undercover' being the best - or rather, the worst - example) have not been too successful.
When an episode remains true to form, there's no more compelling TV, no matter how many times you view it.
The secret was never in the actual mystery. 'Columbo' dispensed with the conventional 'whodunnit'; it was more of a 'how to figure it out' mystery. In fact, because you always knew who the murderer was and because you followed his or her story first before ever meeting Columbo, it could be said that the guest murderer was the star role and Columbo a supporting player.
The secret to the longevity of 'Columbo' is the interplay between the adversaries; as best explained by the title of a later episode: "It's All In The Game".
Some might argue that despite two pilot films and two versions of the series on different networks, 'Columbo' should count as one long run. And therefore the Lieutenant doesn't meet the requirements of three different appearances.
I disagree. I do see these as four separate entries, and thus, more than eligible for induction.
As for the Bert Freed version and the Falkless "spin-off" first known as 'Mrs. Columbo', I brush them aside. The episode from 'Suspense' took place in an alternate TV dimension, and Kate Mulgrew's character was married to a different Lt. Columbo in the L.A. police force. (There's no law saying there could be only one.)
But there are two other appearances by Lt. Columbo, as played by Peter Falk, which I do include as part of his overall contribution and which therefore would make him eligible to the naysayers. But there is some fancy footwork involved, which is why the Lieutenant is being inducted this year rather than by the usual means.
First up, there was a convention for police detectives in Hawaii which was seen in an episode of the CBS TV show 'Magnum, P.I.'. There were several detectives at that convention who were unnamed, but it was obvious by their appearance that they were famous TV characters from other shows. Lt. 'Kojak' was one, recognizable by his bald head and lollipop. And another was 'Columbo'.
These little cameos weren't by the original actors playing them, of course. But the camerawork tried to stay far enough away to be good enough for the instant recognition without giving away too much detail.
The other appearance by Lt. Columbo took place during an episode of 'The Dean Martin Celebrity Roast of Frank Sinatra'.
Columbo made a surprise appearance on the dais to salute Ol' Blue Eyes, and never once was he identified as Peter Falk. He remained true to the character, going on and on about how the Mrs. loved Sinatra, and the fact that they came from the same place.... All of it was pure Columbo, just delivered in a humorous fashion.
It shouldn't be too surprising that Columbo would be so entertaining in front of the cameras like that. He had experience on TV before, when he appeared on Norman Paris' cooking show.
And it's not surprising that Sinatra and the others act as though they knew who he was. By that point in his career, Columbo had investigated several very high-profile cases in which those involved - like publisher Arthur Kennicutt or psychiatrist to the stars Ray Flemming, - might have been friends to these celebrities. And then there were always those cases Columbo investigated which we never saw on screen!
So, questionable yet basically legitimate appearances in a rival network's detective show and a comedy roast; add those two to the more accepted output of 'Columbo' and the character deserves one more accolade to go with all of the others (which include being in the Top Ten most memorable TV characters of all time).
Just one more thing....
As will be established later this year, 'Columbo' did make a theoretical connection to another TV show with the episode "Identity Crisis". The murderer was Nelson Brenner, a double-agent played by Patrick McGoohan.
It's our belief that this character was none other than Number Twelve, the spy who was brought into "the Village" as a look-alike to 'The Prisoner' Number Six. Now, it looked like that character was killed off by "Rover" AKA Orange Alert, but as we learned from the last two episodes of 'The Prisoner', Death wasn't always permanent due to their scientific advancements.
And that's a fourth qualification, if accepted. And since this year's inductions are in celebration of my birthday, what I say goes.
Therefore! By the powers invested in me, I name Lt. Columbo a member of the TV Crossover Hall of Fame. This old man got the call. Now he can play "Knick-Knack" in the Hall.
Knick Knack, Paddywhack.
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
He's been a legendary TV icon for over 30 years, recognized the world over by his shabby raincoat, cheap cigar, and the shuffling demeanor that has tripped up nearly all of his suspects.
In the TV Universe, Lt. Columbo (as played by Peter Falk) first appeared in a pilot movie 'Prescription Murder' which was based on a Broadway-bound play by Levinson & Link. (This play had earlier been made for TV as "Enough Rope", an episode of 'Suspense' with Bert Freed as Columbo.)
A second pilot was ordered which brought forth 'Ransom For A Dead Man'. This led to the inclusion of 'Columbo' into the 'NBC Sunday Night Mystery' wheel, along with 'McCloud' and 'Macmillan & Wife', among others.
Years after 'Columbo' finally left the airwaves of the Peacock network, the police lieutenant showed up, older and even more rumpled, at ABC in a series of specials that continue to this day.
There is a format to 'Columbo' that can be as tradition-bound as some religious ceremonies. For instance, in the best episodes, the murderer is tripped up by either that which he killed for in the first place, or by something that he loves the most.
Those few experimental episodes that have strayed from the classic style ('Undercover' being the best - or rather, the worst - example) have not been too successful.
When an episode remains true to form, there's no more compelling TV, no matter how many times you view it.
The secret was never in the actual mystery. 'Columbo' dispensed with the conventional 'whodunnit'; it was more of a 'how to figure it out' mystery. In fact, because you always knew who the murderer was and because you followed his or her story first before ever meeting Columbo, it could be said that the guest murderer was the star role and Columbo a supporting player.
The secret to the longevity of 'Columbo' is the interplay between the adversaries; as best explained by the title of a later episode: "It's All In The Game".
Some might argue that despite two pilot films and two versions of the series on different networks, 'Columbo' should count as one long run. And therefore the Lieutenant doesn't meet the requirements of three different appearances.
I disagree. I do see these as four separate entries, and thus, more than eligible for induction.
As for the Bert Freed version and the Falkless "spin-off" first known as 'Mrs. Columbo', I brush them aside. The episode from 'Suspense' took place in an alternate TV dimension, and Kate Mulgrew's character was married to a different Lt. Columbo in the L.A. police force. (There's no law saying there could be only one.)
But there are two other appearances by Lt. Columbo, as played by Peter Falk, which I do include as part of his overall contribution and which therefore would make him eligible to the naysayers. But there is some fancy footwork involved, which is why the Lieutenant is being inducted this year rather than by the usual means.
First up, there was a convention for police detectives in Hawaii which was seen in an episode of the CBS TV show 'Magnum, P.I.'. There were several detectives at that convention who were unnamed, but it was obvious by their appearance that they were famous TV characters from other shows. Lt. 'Kojak' was one, recognizable by his bald head and lollipop. And another was 'Columbo'.
These little cameos weren't by the original actors playing them, of course. But the camerawork tried to stay far enough away to be good enough for the instant recognition without giving away too much detail.
The other appearance by Lt. Columbo took place during an episode of 'The Dean Martin Celebrity Roast of Frank Sinatra'.
Columbo made a surprise appearance on the dais to salute Ol' Blue Eyes, and never once was he identified as Peter Falk. He remained true to the character, going on and on about how the Mrs. loved Sinatra, and the fact that they came from the same place.... All of it was pure Columbo, just delivered in a humorous fashion.
It shouldn't be too surprising that Columbo would be so entertaining in front of the cameras like that. He had experience on TV before, when he appeared on Norman Paris' cooking show.
And it's not surprising that Sinatra and the others act as though they knew who he was. By that point in his career, Columbo had investigated several very high-profile cases in which those involved - like publisher Arthur Kennicutt or psychiatrist to the stars Ray Flemming, - might have been friends to these celebrities. And then there were always those cases Columbo investigated which we never saw on screen!
So, questionable yet basically legitimate appearances in a rival network's detective show and a comedy roast; add those two to the more accepted output of 'Columbo' and the character deserves one more accolade to go with all of the others (which include being in the Top Ten most memorable TV characters of all time).
Just one more thing....
As will be established later this year, 'Columbo' did make a theoretical connection to another TV show with the episode "Identity Crisis". The murderer was Nelson Brenner, a double-agent played by Patrick McGoohan.
It's our belief that this character was none other than Number Twelve, the spy who was brought into "the Village" as a look-alike to 'The Prisoner' Number Six. Now, it looked like that character was killed off by "Rover" AKA Orange Alert, but as we learned from the last two episodes of 'The Prisoner', Death wasn't always permanent due to their scientific advancements.
And that's a fourth qualification, if accepted. And since this year's inductions are in celebration of my birthday, what I say goes.
Therefore! By the powers invested in me, I name Lt. Columbo a member of the TV Crossover Hall of Fame. This old man got the call. Now he can play "Knick-Knack" in the Hall.
Knick Knack, Paddywhack.
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Saturday, January 1, 2005
HAPPY SECOND SEASON!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
2005 marks my half-century in the Real World. [I've been a part of Toobworld since 1961, when I received my Citizen of Joyville certificate from 'The Hap Richards Show'.]
I'm cool with the idea of turning fifty. I know that inside, I'm still fifteen. In fact, I think my voice is finally changing!
But it does give me the excuse to expand the Birthday Honors Roll for the TV Crossover Hall of Fame so that it runs the entire year.
Some of the past inductees on the Birthday Honors List might not have made it into the Hall of Fame otherwise.
Some of their qualifications are less than official; in all but name they might have appeared in other shows. (Like Dr. Miguelito Loveless)
Some of them depend on connections to the movie universe. (There will be at least one of those this coming year.)
And others have been inducted in the past for their contributions to the world of TV in general. (Suzie MacNamara had only two series under her belt, but as she took place in the crossover that's generally accepted as the first, she got special notice.)
For 2005, you can expect to see off-the-wall honorees every month of the year.
And an especially odd - yet apt! - choice will be made for the actual Birthday Honors berth.
Stay tuned!
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
2005 marks my half-century in the Real World. [I've been a part of Toobworld since 1961, when I received my Citizen of Joyville certificate from 'The Hap Richards Show'.]
I'm cool with the idea of turning fifty. I know that inside, I'm still fifteen. In fact, I think my voice is finally changing!
But it does give me the excuse to expand the Birthday Honors Roll for the TV Crossover Hall of Fame so that it runs the entire year.
Some of the past inductees on the Birthday Honors List might not have made it into the Hall of Fame otherwise.
Some of their qualifications are less than official; in all but name they might have appeared in other shows. (Like Dr. Miguelito Loveless)
Some of them depend on connections to the movie universe. (There will be at least one of those this coming year.)
And others have been inducted in the past for their contributions to the world of TV in general. (Suzie MacNamara had only two series under her belt, but as she took place in the crossover that's generally accepted as the first, she got special notice.)
For 2005, you can expect to see off-the-wall honorees every month of the year.
And an especially odd - yet apt! - choice will be made for the actual Birthday Honors berth.
Stay tuned!
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Thursday, December 30, 2004
BRISCOE COUNTED
In my own small, bloggish way, I'd like to pay tribute to Jerry Orbach.
Much has already been written about his popularity as Detective Lennie Briscoe during his 12 year run on 'Law & Order'. But he also made another contribution to the TV Universe with the spin-off of his recurring character from 'Murder, She Wrote': 'The Law & Harry McGraw'.
In his memory, the 2006 roster for the TV Crossover Hall of Fame will be devoted entirely to inducting 'Law & Order' characters. (2005 has already been set in stone, due to a personal milestone.)
And as January is dedicated to TV classics, there could be no better inauguration for such a theme than Lennie Briscoe.
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Mike: Get this return address: "476 Avenue Bearing the Initial of Our Lord into the New Kingdom."
Lennie: Great. This time of day it's gonna' take us an hour to get downtown.
Mike: Since when do you have a roadmap to heaven?
Lennie: I don't. But I've been up and down Avenue C.
['Law & Order']
Much has already been written about his popularity as Detective Lennie Briscoe during his 12 year run on 'Law & Order'. But he also made another contribution to the TV Universe with the spin-off of his recurring character from 'Murder, She Wrote': 'The Law & Harry McGraw'.
In his memory, the 2006 roster for the TV Crossover Hall of Fame will be devoted entirely to inducting 'Law & Order' characters. (2005 has already been set in stone, due to a personal milestone.)
And as January is dedicated to TV classics, there could be no better inauguration for such a theme than Lennie Briscoe.
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Mike: Get this return address: "476 Avenue Bearing the Initial of Our Lord into the New Kingdom."
Lennie: Great. This time of day it's gonna' take us an hour to get downtown.
Mike: Since when do you have a roadmap to heaven?
Lennie: I don't. But I've been up and down Avenue C.
['Law & Order']
IT'S THE END OF THE YEAR [AS WE VIEW IT]
Now that we've reached the end of the calendar year, but not the end of the TV season, I'd like to salute those shows and characters who made the best contributions to the TV Universe.
They aren't necessarily recognized for expanding the universe through the means of spin-offs and crossovers, but because they enriched - or as they say in 'The Simpsons', embiggened - the possibilities and various aspects of Toobworld.
BEST NEW TV SERIES
'LOST'
Striking out on its own, this drama has picked up the mantle of such off-beat, quirky, spooky shows as 'Twin Peaks' and 'The X-Files' without following in either of their footsteps.
It's been described as an unholy hybrid of 'Gilligan's Island', 'The Twilight Zone', 'The New People', 'The Outer Limits', and 'Survivor'. Yet it's none of the above and all of them and something else altogether.
For the first time in a very long while, I'm waiting for the next installment of a show as soon as the end credits are rolling for the current episode.
BEST TV MOVIE
'THE LIBRARIAN: QUEST FOR THE SPEAR'
The premise for this flick built on projects that had come before it - most notably 'The Raiders Of The Lost Ark' - and gleefully, shamelessly ripped them off. With its premise of a modern library housing the world's most magical antiquities, 'The Librarian' was able to be linked to a variety of other shows - 'Hercules', 'Arthur Of The Britons', 'Roar', 'Lois & Clark' etc.
And with the possibilities of sequels, its links can continue to be forged.
BEST NEW MALE CHARACTER
DR. GREGORY HOUSE - 'HOUSE'
It's been over twenty years since 'St. Elsewhere' forced us to lose our outdated views of all doctors as 'Marcus Welby, M.D.'. But not even Dr. Mark Craig could hold his own against such an unmitigated prick as 'House'. The world of medicine might not benefit from his presence, but Toobworld certainly gains.
BEST NEW FEMALE CHARACTER
GRACE McCALLISTER, 'JACK & BOBBY'
Like Dr. House, she certainly is not an easy character to like. But her hard-edged, bull-headed, opinionated attitude is certainly believable for molding the boy who would be President into everything he will be, as well as won't be.
BEST NEW MALE SUPPORTING CHARACTER
TONY BLUNDETTO, 'THE SOPRANOS'
For someone who was supposed to be so integral to Tony Soprano's early family life, "Tony B" seemed to come ouf of nowhere, rather than fresh out of prison. But it didn't take long to accept how Tony B's very existence was a shattered reflection of everything Tony S was and should have been and whom he would never be.
When Tony S finally killed his cousin himself, he had convinced himself it was to save Tony B from a far worse death. But it may be that he was removing that constant reminder of his own flaws.
Tony Blundetto was the most devastating blood relation Tony Soprano had since his mother Livia.
BEST NEW SUPPORTING FEMALE CHARACTER
BOBBI, 'JOEY'
There's no denying how bad I find this spin-off from 'Friends', but whenever Jennifer Coolidge shows up as Joey's boy-toy hungry carnivore of an agent, the stultifying shackles are thrown off and she sends this sitcom into loopy, giddy heights.
It's just a shame that such a brassy broad is stuck in such a leaden vehicle.
BEST CAST ENSEMBLE
THE SURVIVORS OF 'LOST'
Everybody on board Oceanic 815 has a secret. Nobody is as they appear, either. And the show's creators delight in dangling tantalizing little clues to keep us coming back for more, and willingly.
Everybody in the cast is so perfect for their roles that it would be a shame to lose any of them. But the producers have stated that a major character will die by the end of teh season. Yet even the worst of them are rich enough in backstory to hang around for years.
BEST NEW GUEST APPEARANCE
ARIK SOONG, 'ENTERPRISE'
It took three seasons, but it looks like 'Enterprise' has finally learned what made 'Deep Space Nine' better - a grasp of the rich history of 'Trek'.
And no one was a better link to all of that than the mad geneticist Dr. Arik Soong. "Grandfather" to the android Data of 'Star Trek: The Next Generation', disciple of the goals fought for in the Eugenics Wars, Soong had a playful malevolence found in the best of villains.
And he had a fine eye for green-skinned Orion slave girls!
Finally, here are a few quickies:
BEST SERIES FINALE - 'Frasier' ('Friends' suffered from a built-up sense of overkill hype.)
BEST SENSE OF ONE'S OWN HISTORY - 'Enterprise', runner-up: 'Law & Order'
BEST BLEND OF TOOBWORLD AND REAL WORLD HISTORY - 'Deadwood'
BEST BLEND OF TOOBWORLD AND REAL WORLD CELEBRITY - 'Entourage'
BEST SPIN-OFF - 'Boston Legal'
WORST SPIN-OFF - 'Joey'
BEST CROSSOVER - 'All My Children' & 'One Life To Live' (the baby-swapping storyline)
WORST CROSSOVER - 'Monday Night Football' & 'Desperate Housewives' ('The Towel')
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
They aren't necessarily recognized for expanding the universe through the means of spin-offs and crossovers, but because they enriched - or as they say in 'The Simpsons', embiggened - the possibilities and various aspects of Toobworld.
BEST NEW TV SERIES
'LOST'
Striking out on its own, this drama has picked up the mantle of such off-beat, quirky, spooky shows as 'Twin Peaks' and 'The X-Files' without following in either of their footsteps.
It's been described as an unholy hybrid of 'Gilligan's Island', 'The Twilight Zone', 'The New People', 'The Outer Limits', and 'Survivor'. Yet it's none of the above and all of them and something else altogether.
For the first time in a very long while, I'm waiting for the next installment of a show as soon as the end credits are rolling for the current episode.
BEST TV MOVIE
'THE LIBRARIAN: QUEST FOR THE SPEAR'
The premise for this flick built on projects that had come before it - most notably 'The Raiders Of The Lost Ark' - and gleefully, shamelessly ripped them off. With its premise of a modern library housing the world's most magical antiquities, 'The Librarian' was able to be linked to a variety of other shows - 'Hercules', 'Arthur Of The Britons', 'Roar', 'Lois & Clark' etc.
And with the possibilities of sequels, its links can continue to be forged.
BEST NEW MALE CHARACTER
DR. GREGORY HOUSE - 'HOUSE'
It's been over twenty years since 'St. Elsewhere' forced us to lose our outdated views of all doctors as 'Marcus Welby, M.D.'. But not even Dr. Mark Craig could hold his own against such an unmitigated prick as 'House'. The world of medicine might not benefit from his presence, but Toobworld certainly gains.
BEST NEW FEMALE CHARACTER
GRACE McCALLISTER, 'JACK & BOBBY'
Like Dr. House, she certainly is not an easy character to like. But her hard-edged, bull-headed, opinionated attitude is certainly believable for molding the boy who would be President into everything he will be, as well as won't be.
BEST NEW MALE SUPPORTING CHARACTER
TONY BLUNDETTO, 'THE SOPRANOS'
For someone who was supposed to be so integral to Tony Soprano's early family life, "Tony B" seemed to come ouf of nowhere, rather than fresh out of prison. But it didn't take long to accept how Tony B's very existence was a shattered reflection of everything Tony S was and should have been and whom he would never be.
When Tony S finally killed his cousin himself, he had convinced himself it was to save Tony B from a far worse death. But it may be that he was removing that constant reminder of his own flaws.
Tony Blundetto was the most devastating blood relation Tony Soprano had since his mother Livia.
BEST NEW SUPPORTING FEMALE CHARACTER
BOBBI, 'JOEY'
There's no denying how bad I find this spin-off from 'Friends', but whenever Jennifer Coolidge shows up as Joey's boy-toy hungry carnivore of an agent, the stultifying shackles are thrown off and she sends this sitcom into loopy, giddy heights.
It's just a shame that such a brassy broad is stuck in such a leaden vehicle.
BEST CAST ENSEMBLE
THE SURVIVORS OF 'LOST'
Everybody on board Oceanic 815 has a secret. Nobody is as they appear, either. And the show's creators delight in dangling tantalizing little clues to keep us coming back for more, and willingly.
Everybody in the cast is so perfect for their roles that it would be a shame to lose any of them. But the producers have stated that a major character will die by the end of teh season. Yet even the worst of them are rich enough in backstory to hang around for years.
BEST NEW GUEST APPEARANCE
ARIK SOONG, 'ENTERPRISE'
It took three seasons, but it looks like 'Enterprise' has finally learned what made 'Deep Space Nine' better - a grasp of the rich history of 'Trek'.
And no one was a better link to all of that than the mad geneticist Dr. Arik Soong. "Grandfather" to the android Data of 'Star Trek: The Next Generation', disciple of the goals fought for in the Eugenics Wars, Soong had a playful malevolence found in the best of villains.
And he had a fine eye for green-skinned Orion slave girls!
Finally, here are a few quickies:
BEST SERIES FINALE - 'Frasier' ('Friends' suffered from a built-up sense of overkill hype.)
BEST SENSE OF ONE'S OWN HISTORY - 'Enterprise', runner-up: 'Law & Order'
BEST BLEND OF TOOBWORLD AND REAL WORLD HISTORY - 'Deadwood'
BEST BLEND OF TOOBWORLD AND REAL WORLD CELEBRITY - 'Entourage'
BEST SPIN-OFF - 'Boston Legal'
WORST SPIN-OFF - 'Joey'
BEST CROSSOVER - 'All My Children' & 'One Life To Live' (the baby-swapping storyline)
WORST CROSSOVER - 'Monday Night Football' & 'Desperate Housewives' ('The Towel')
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Sunday, December 19, 2004
IN THE NEWS
Sorry I haven't posted anything in a few days, folks. But I've been a bit busy between trekking to Connecticut to see my brand-new nephew and with a 12 part allegory I've been writing in order to lambaste my friends in an email Digest group.
So here are a few news items to keep my toes in the water:
Aflac, the insurance company that rose to pop-cultural heights on the wings of a waterfowl, is launching a $50 million ad campaign that partly muzzles its web-footed friend and instead seeks to better define what the company does.
The move is a risky one, given the iconic status the feathered creature has reached since being introduced in January 2000. Known for its loud "Aflac" quack, the duck has become one of the country's most recognizable ad icons.
Before its first appearance, most people had never heard of the Columbus, Ga., purveyor of supplemental workplace insurance. Since that time, however, Aflac's brand awareness has skyrocketed to 90 percent from 12 percent, the company says. But in today's competitive business environment, name recognition alone isn't enough.
"Consumers were saying, 'I know you are insurance and you have this duck that quacks, but what can you do for me?"' says Al Johnson, Aflac's vice president of advertising and branding.
Madison Avenue is forever wrestling with the challenge of creating ads that entertain while also imparting enough information about a product or service. For Aflac, the idea of better defining what the company does is fraught with risk, say branding experts, since weighing down copy with big explanations might be an instant turn-off for consumers who are used to quick and fun ads that predominantly featured the quacking duck.
Aflac says it was prompted to redo its messaging after increases in sales began to slow and consumer research found that people were confused about Aflac. A survey of 1,000 consumers done in October 2003 by Bantam Group, a research firm in Atlanta, found that 60 percent of respondents said they weren't exactly sure what Aflac insurance was.
Moreover, a telephone poll of 600 consumers, done in April 2004, found that about half of the respondents said the current advertising doesn't explain what Aflac is.
One new commercial, created by Publicis Groupe's Kaplan Thaler Group and set to begin airing Jan. 1 during college-football bowl games, features a man with a broken leg talking to a friend. "Hey, you look relaxed for someone in your condition," says the friend. "It's because I have Aflac," responds the man with the cast. "When I'm hurt and miss work, Aflac gives me cash to help pay bills my health insurance doesn't." The friend chimes in: "What do you mean, like car payments, electric bills -- the rent?"
As the two banter on, the duck fiddles around in the background writing checks and mailing bills -- and even gets cash ready for the Chinese-food deliveryman.
In another spot, dubbed "Pet Store," comedian Gilbert Gottfried, the voice of the Aflac duck, tries to return the Aflac duck to a pet shop. "He just says the same thing over and over," complains Mr. Gottfried, who becomes frustrated when the duck fails to quack. A parrot weighs in with the Aflac name and what the company does. In a surprising twist, this is one of the few times the duck doesn't reveal the company name.
While Aflac hopes to tone down the duck's call, the company says the familiar squawk might return. "You don't want to annoy consumers," adds Mr. Johnson. "The duck is evolving."
Rumors of a lesser role for the popular duck have percolated for months in ad circles, but the company says the duck's return was never in question. In fact, the duck is even being promoted: He now will be perched on the company's logo.
___________________________________
Top 10 alternative comedy sketches
(as chosen by British TV viewers)
1. Dead Parrot (Python)
2. Four Yorkshiremen (Python)
3. Lou and Andy by the Pool (Little Britain)
4. Going for English (Goodness Gracious Me)
5. Brown baby (Harry Enfield)
6. Ministry of Silly Walks (Python)
7. One Leg Too Few (Dudley Moore)
8. Papa Lazarou (League of Gentlemen)
9. Two Soups (Julie Walters in Victoria Wood)
10. The Spam Song (Python)
_________________________
‘Law & Order' stays orderly
Creator explains cast changes
By Gary Levin
USA TODAY
Forget those homicidal maniacs: There's even more drama behind the scenes at Law & Order.
The shows easily have weathered their share of cast changes, proving that compelling scripts — not stars — draw viewers. But this season brings more than the usual revolving-door changes.
Elisabeth Rohm exits the original Law & Order (Wednesdays, 10 p.m. ET/PT) in early January in what creator Dick Wolf calls a surprise, “water-cooler” moment. She will be replaced a week later by Annie Parisse (As the World Turns). As the show's sixth assistant D.A., she “has the most sophisticated, almost European sexuality; she's smart and hot,” he says.
Jesse L. Martin is departing early to film an adaptation of Rent but returns next fall. And The Sopranos' Michael Imperioli guest-stars in the final four episodes as nephew and temporary partner of Detective Fontana (Dennis Farina).
And on SVU (Tuesdays, 10 p.m. ET/PT), the only Law to gain viewers, Mary Stuart Masterson filmed a multi-episode arc to pinch-hit for B.D. Wong, who's performing in Broadway's Pacific Overtures.
Lately, the rumor mill has been in overdrive about other changes both real and imagined. Wolf sets things straight:
•Vincent D'Onofrio, star of Criminal Intent (Sundays, 9 p.m. ET/PT), is not being replaced by Chris Noth. Rumors started swirling that the combustible D'Onofrio posted anti-Bush screeds on the set, irritating other cast and crew members. Rumors were compounded when the star had two fainting spells, forcing a brief hospital stay.
The Bush-bashing rumors amounted to “tabloid journalism,” Wolf says, and the offending “signage” actually took place on L&O's upcoming fourth edition, Trial by Jury, which D'Onofrio has nothing to do with.
Wolf acknowledges that Noth, previously on L&O, was on a short list of possible replacements drafted during the hospitalization. But D'Onofrio is back, so “that step was not necessary. Vincent's done an incredible job the past 3½ years, and I would like him to be there for the rest of the show's run.”
•Jerry Orbach's prostate cancer did not force his exit or stall production on Trial by Jury. The decision to shift Orbach, 69, from an L&O lead to a Trial supporting player, Wolf says, “was made prior to my knowledge of his medical problem,” revealed last week. But it had the side effect of shielding L&O from delays, because his new role is part-time. Scenes are being shot around his treatment, and “it has not impacted production.”
______________________
Alanis Morissette doesn't just love music -- she's into comedy, too.
The Canadian songbird just inked a deal with Comedy Central (with none other than Hollywood heavyweight Tom Hanks on board as a producer). Morissette will star in a ''mockumentary''-style TV show.In a premise that sounds a lot like ''The Chris Isaak Show,'' Morissette's half-hour series will follow her on tour next year.
The singer will play herself, but the rest of the cast will be comprised of improv actors playing her managers, technical aides, security guards and wardrobe assistants.
Morissette whetted her appetite to create her own comedy show with roles on HBO's ''Curb Your Enthusiasm'' and Fox's ''Mad TV,'' playing her own fictional little sister -- a Britney Spears-type pop tart.
_________________________
The American Film Institute's top 10 television programs of the year were HBO's "Curb Your Enthusiasm," "Deadwood," "The Sopranos" and "Something the Lord Made," ABC's "Desperate Housewives" and "Lost," FX's "Nip/Tuck" and "The Shield," Fox's "Arrested Development" and Comedy Central's "South Park." ___________________
The pig aroused by Rebecca Loos on TV show 'The Farm' did not feel degraded by the experience, watchdogs have ruled.
David Beckham's former PA was asked to give the boar - and nature - a helping hand.
Ofcom received 37 complaints about the act which lasted for ten minutes.
Most of the complaints criticised her antics as "akin to bestiality".
The RSPCA also condemned the scenes, shown on Five.
But the channel was cleared of breaching taste and decency standards.
Ofcom's ruling said: "Rebecca Loos was selected by a qualified veterinary surgeon to assist him extracting semen from a boar on a neighbouring farm.
"The task performed by Rebecca Loos is one that occurs regularly on UK farms. We do not believe the scene was degrading or harmful to the boar."
__________________
And finally, here's a quote from Rowan Atkinson:
"To criticise a person for their race is manifestly irrational and ridiculous but to criticise their religion, that is a right. That is a freedom.
"The freedom to criticise ideas, any ideas - even if they are sincerely held beliefs - is one of the fundamental freedoms of society.
"A law which attempts to say you can criticise and ridicule ideas as long as they are not religious ideas is a very peculiar law indeed."
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
So here are a few news items to keep my toes in the water:
Aflac, the insurance company that rose to pop-cultural heights on the wings of a waterfowl, is launching a $50 million ad campaign that partly muzzles its web-footed friend and instead seeks to better define what the company does.
The move is a risky one, given the iconic status the feathered creature has reached since being introduced in January 2000. Known for its loud "Aflac" quack, the duck has become one of the country's most recognizable ad icons.
Before its first appearance, most people had never heard of the Columbus, Ga., purveyor of supplemental workplace insurance. Since that time, however, Aflac's brand awareness has skyrocketed to 90 percent from 12 percent, the company says. But in today's competitive business environment, name recognition alone isn't enough.
"Consumers were saying, 'I know you are insurance and you have this duck that quacks, but what can you do for me?"' says Al Johnson, Aflac's vice president of advertising and branding.
Madison Avenue is forever wrestling with the challenge of creating ads that entertain while also imparting enough information about a product or service. For Aflac, the idea of better defining what the company does is fraught with risk, say branding experts, since weighing down copy with big explanations might be an instant turn-off for consumers who are used to quick and fun ads that predominantly featured the quacking duck.
Aflac says it was prompted to redo its messaging after increases in sales began to slow and consumer research found that people were confused about Aflac. A survey of 1,000 consumers done in October 2003 by Bantam Group, a research firm in Atlanta, found that 60 percent of respondents said they weren't exactly sure what Aflac insurance was.
Moreover, a telephone poll of 600 consumers, done in April 2004, found that about half of the respondents said the current advertising doesn't explain what Aflac is.
One new commercial, created by Publicis Groupe's Kaplan Thaler Group and set to begin airing Jan. 1 during college-football bowl games, features a man with a broken leg talking to a friend. "Hey, you look relaxed for someone in your condition," says the friend. "It's because I have Aflac," responds the man with the cast. "When I'm hurt and miss work, Aflac gives me cash to help pay bills my health insurance doesn't." The friend chimes in: "What do you mean, like car payments, electric bills -- the rent?"
As the two banter on, the duck fiddles around in the background writing checks and mailing bills -- and even gets cash ready for the Chinese-food deliveryman.
In another spot, dubbed "Pet Store," comedian Gilbert Gottfried, the voice of the Aflac duck, tries to return the Aflac duck to a pet shop. "He just says the same thing over and over," complains Mr. Gottfried, who becomes frustrated when the duck fails to quack. A parrot weighs in with the Aflac name and what the company does. In a surprising twist, this is one of the few times the duck doesn't reveal the company name.
While Aflac hopes to tone down the duck's call, the company says the familiar squawk might return. "You don't want to annoy consumers," adds Mr. Johnson. "The duck is evolving."
Rumors of a lesser role for the popular duck have percolated for months in ad circles, but the company says the duck's return was never in question. In fact, the duck is even being promoted: He now will be perched on the company's logo.
___________________________________
Top 10 alternative comedy sketches
(as chosen by British TV viewers)
1. Dead Parrot (Python)
2. Four Yorkshiremen (Python)
3. Lou and Andy by the Pool (Little Britain)
4. Going for English (Goodness Gracious Me)
5. Brown baby (Harry Enfield)
6. Ministry of Silly Walks (Python)
7. One Leg Too Few (Dudley Moore)
8. Papa Lazarou (League of Gentlemen)
9. Two Soups (Julie Walters in Victoria Wood)
10. The Spam Song (Python)
_________________________
‘Law & Order' stays orderly
Creator explains cast changes
By Gary Levin
USA TODAY
Forget those homicidal maniacs: There's even more drama behind the scenes at Law & Order.
The shows easily have weathered their share of cast changes, proving that compelling scripts — not stars — draw viewers. But this season brings more than the usual revolving-door changes.
Elisabeth Rohm exits the original Law & Order (Wednesdays, 10 p.m. ET/PT) in early January in what creator Dick Wolf calls a surprise, “water-cooler” moment. She will be replaced a week later by Annie Parisse (As the World Turns). As the show's sixth assistant D.A., she “has the most sophisticated, almost European sexuality; she's smart and hot,” he says.
Jesse L. Martin is departing early to film an adaptation of Rent but returns next fall. And The Sopranos' Michael Imperioli guest-stars in the final four episodes as nephew and temporary partner of Detective Fontana (Dennis Farina).
And on SVU (Tuesdays, 10 p.m. ET/PT), the only Law to gain viewers, Mary Stuart Masterson filmed a multi-episode arc to pinch-hit for B.D. Wong, who's performing in Broadway's Pacific Overtures.
Lately, the rumor mill has been in overdrive about other changes both real and imagined. Wolf sets things straight:
•Vincent D'Onofrio, star of Criminal Intent (Sundays, 9 p.m. ET/PT), is not being replaced by Chris Noth. Rumors started swirling that the combustible D'Onofrio posted anti-Bush screeds on the set, irritating other cast and crew members. Rumors were compounded when the star had two fainting spells, forcing a brief hospital stay.
The Bush-bashing rumors amounted to “tabloid journalism,” Wolf says, and the offending “signage” actually took place on L&O's upcoming fourth edition, Trial by Jury, which D'Onofrio has nothing to do with.
Wolf acknowledges that Noth, previously on L&O, was on a short list of possible replacements drafted during the hospitalization. But D'Onofrio is back, so “that step was not necessary. Vincent's done an incredible job the past 3½ years, and I would like him to be there for the rest of the show's run.”
•Jerry Orbach's prostate cancer did not force his exit or stall production on Trial by Jury. The decision to shift Orbach, 69, from an L&O lead to a Trial supporting player, Wolf says, “was made prior to my knowledge of his medical problem,” revealed last week. But it had the side effect of shielding L&O from delays, because his new role is part-time. Scenes are being shot around his treatment, and “it has not impacted production.”
______________________
Alanis Morissette doesn't just love music -- she's into comedy, too.
The Canadian songbird just inked a deal with Comedy Central (with none other than Hollywood heavyweight Tom Hanks on board as a producer). Morissette will star in a ''mockumentary''-style TV show.In a premise that sounds a lot like ''The Chris Isaak Show,'' Morissette's half-hour series will follow her on tour next year.
The singer will play herself, but the rest of the cast will be comprised of improv actors playing her managers, technical aides, security guards and wardrobe assistants.
Morissette whetted her appetite to create her own comedy show with roles on HBO's ''Curb Your Enthusiasm'' and Fox's ''Mad TV,'' playing her own fictional little sister -- a Britney Spears-type pop tart.
_________________________
The American Film Institute's top 10 television programs of the year were HBO's "Curb Your Enthusiasm," "Deadwood," "The Sopranos" and "Something the Lord Made," ABC's "Desperate Housewives" and "Lost," FX's "Nip/Tuck" and "The Shield," Fox's "Arrested Development" and Comedy Central's "South Park." ___________________
The pig aroused by Rebecca Loos on TV show 'The Farm' did not feel degraded by the experience, watchdogs have ruled.
David Beckham's former PA was asked to give the boar - and nature - a helping hand.
Ofcom received 37 complaints about the act which lasted for ten minutes.
Most of the complaints criticised her antics as "akin to bestiality".
The RSPCA also condemned the scenes, shown on Five.
But the channel was cleared of breaching taste and decency standards.
Ofcom's ruling said: "Rebecca Loos was selected by a qualified veterinary surgeon to assist him extracting semen from a boar on a neighbouring farm.
"The task performed by Rebecca Loos is one that occurs regularly on UK farms. We do not believe the scene was degrading or harmful to the boar."
__________________
And finally, here's a quote from Rowan Atkinson:
"To criticise a person for their race is manifestly irrational and ridiculous but to criticise their religion, that is a right. That is a freedom.
"The freedom to criticise ideas, any ideas - even if they are sincerely held beliefs - is one of the fundamental freedoms of society.
"A law which attempts to say you can criticise and ridicule ideas as long as they are not religious ideas is a very peculiar law indeed."
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
NICE GLOBES
Here in the "Real World", the nominations for the Golden Globe awards have been announced.
Herewith are those nominations that matter for Toobworld:
TELEVISION
Drama Series
"24," FOX
"Deadwood," HBO
"Lost," ABC
"Nip/Tuck," FX
"The Sopranos," HBO
Comedy Series
"Arrested Development," FOX
"Desperate Housewives," ABC
"Entourage," HBO
"Sex and the City," HBO
"Will & Grace," NBC
Miniseries or TV Movie
"American Family: Journey of Dreams," PBS
"Iron Jawed Angels," HBO
"The Life and Death of Peter Sellers," HBO
"The Lion in Winter," Showtime
"Something the Lord Made," HBO
Lead Actor -- Drama Series
Michael Chiklis, "The Shield," FX
Denis Leary, "Rescue Me," FX
Julian McMahon, "Nip/Tuck," FX
Ian McShane, "Deadwood," HBO
James Spader, "Boston Legal," ABC
Lead Actor -- Comedy Series
Jason Bateman, "Arrested Development," FOX
Zach Braff, "Scrubs," NBC
Larry David, "Curb Your Enthusiasm," HBO
Matt LeBlanc, "Joey," NBC
Tony Shalhoub, "Monk," USA
Charlie Sheen, "Two and a Half Men," CBS
Lead Actor -- Miniseries/Movie
Mos Def, "Something the Lord Made," HBO
Jamie Foxx, "Redemption," FX
William H. Macy, "The Wool Cap," TNT
Geoffrey Rush, "The Life and Death of Peter Sellers," HBO
Patrick Stewart, "The Lion in Winter," Showtime
Lead Actress -- Drama Series
Edie Falco, "The Sopranos," HBO
Jennifer Garner, "Alias," ABC
Mariska Hargitay, "Law & Order: SVU," NBC
Christine Lahti, "Jack & Bobby," The WB
Joely Richardson, "Nip/Tuck," FX
Lead Actress -- Comedy Series
Marcia Cross, "Desperate Housewives," ABC
Teri Hatcher, "Desperate Housewives," ABC
Felicity Huffman, "Desperate Housewives," ABC
Debra Messing, "Will & Grace," NBC
Sarah Jessica Parker, "Sex and the City," HBO
Lead Actress -- Miniseries/Movie
Glenn Close, "The Lion in Winter," Showtime
Blythe Danner, "Back When We Were Grownups," CBS
Julianna Margulies, "The Grid," TNT
Miranda Richardson, "The Lost Prince," PBS
Hilary Swank, "Iron Jawed Angels," HBO
Supporting Actor -- Series, Miniseries or Movie
Sean Hayes, "Will & Grace," NBC
Michael Imperioli, "The Sopranos," HBO
Jeremy Piven, "Entourage," HBO
Oliver Platt, "Huff," Showtime
William Shatner, "Boston Legal," ABC
Supporting Actress -- Series, Miniseries or Movie
Drea de Matteo, "The Sopranos," HBO
Anjelica Huston, "Iron Jawed Angels," HBO
Nicolette Sheridan, "Desperate Housewives," ABC
Charlize Theron, "The Life and Death of Peter Sellers," HBO
Emily Watson, "The Life and Death of Peter Sellers," HBO
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Making my own off-the-top-of-my-head predictions:
"Lost," ABC
"Desperate Housewives," ABC
"The Life and Death of Peter Sellers," HBO
Ian McShane, "Deadwood," HBO Zach Braff, "Scrubs," NBC
Geoffrey Rush, "The Life and Death of Peter Sellers," HBO
Christine Lahti, "Jack & Bobby," The WB
Marcia Cross, "Desperate Housewives," ABC
Glenn Close, "The Lion in Winter," Showtime
Jeremy Piven, "Entourage," HBO
Drea de Matteo, "The Sopranos," HBO
My choices are based on a combination of my personal favorites, buzz, and a general sense of how the foreign correspondents might vote....
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Herewith are those nominations that matter for Toobworld:
TELEVISION
Drama Series
"24," FOX
"Deadwood," HBO
"Lost," ABC
"Nip/Tuck," FX
"The Sopranos," HBO
Comedy Series
"Arrested Development," FOX
"Desperate Housewives," ABC
"Entourage," HBO
"Sex and the City," HBO
"Will & Grace," NBC
Miniseries or TV Movie
"American Family: Journey of Dreams," PBS
"Iron Jawed Angels," HBO
"The Life and Death of Peter Sellers," HBO
"The Lion in Winter," Showtime
"Something the Lord Made," HBO
Lead Actor -- Drama Series
Michael Chiklis, "The Shield," FX
Denis Leary, "Rescue Me," FX
Julian McMahon, "Nip/Tuck," FX
Ian McShane, "Deadwood," HBO
James Spader, "Boston Legal," ABC
Lead Actor -- Comedy Series
Jason Bateman, "Arrested Development," FOX
Zach Braff, "Scrubs," NBC
Larry David, "Curb Your Enthusiasm," HBO
Matt LeBlanc, "Joey," NBC
Tony Shalhoub, "Monk," USA
Charlie Sheen, "Two and a Half Men," CBS
Lead Actor -- Miniseries/Movie
Mos Def, "Something the Lord Made," HBO
Jamie Foxx, "Redemption," FX
William H. Macy, "The Wool Cap," TNT
Geoffrey Rush, "The Life and Death of Peter Sellers," HBO
Patrick Stewart, "The Lion in Winter," Showtime
Lead Actress -- Drama Series
Edie Falco, "The Sopranos," HBO
Jennifer Garner, "Alias," ABC
Mariska Hargitay, "Law & Order: SVU," NBC
Christine Lahti, "Jack & Bobby," The WB
Joely Richardson, "Nip/Tuck," FX
Lead Actress -- Comedy Series
Marcia Cross, "Desperate Housewives," ABC
Teri Hatcher, "Desperate Housewives," ABC
Felicity Huffman, "Desperate Housewives," ABC
Debra Messing, "Will & Grace," NBC
Sarah Jessica Parker, "Sex and the City," HBO
Lead Actress -- Miniseries/Movie
Glenn Close, "The Lion in Winter," Showtime
Blythe Danner, "Back When We Were Grownups," CBS
Julianna Margulies, "The Grid," TNT
Miranda Richardson, "The Lost Prince," PBS
Hilary Swank, "Iron Jawed Angels," HBO
Supporting Actor -- Series, Miniseries or Movie
Sean Hayes, "Will & Grace," NBC
Michael Imperioli, "The Sopranos," HBO
Jeremy Piven, "Entourage," HBO
Oliver Platt, "Huff," Showtime
William Shatner, "Boston Legal," ABC
Supporting Actress -- Series, Miniseries or Movie
Drea de Matteo, "The Sopranos," HBO
Anjelica Huston, "Iron Jawed Angels," HBO
Nicolette Sheridan, "Desperate Housewives," ABC
Charlize Theron, "The Life and Death of Peter Sellers," HBO
Emily Watson, "The Life and Death of Peter Sellers," HBO
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Making my own off-the-top-of-my-head predictions:
"Lost," ABC
"Desperate Housewives," ABC
"The Life and Death of Peter Sellers," HBO
Ian McShane, "Deadwood," HBO Zach Braff, "Scrubs," NBC
Geoffrey Rush, "The Life and Death of Peter Sellers," HBO
Christine Lahti, "Jack & Bobby," The WB
Marcia Cross, "Desperate Housewives," ABC
Glenn Close, "The Lion in Winter," Showtime
Jeremy Piven, "Entourage," HBO
Drea de Matteo, "The Sopranos," HBO
My choices are based on a combination of my personal favorites, buzz, and a general sense of how the foreign correspondents might vote....
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Monday, December 13, 2004
ROCKIN' (CHAIR) NEW YEAR'S EVE?
News story:
Regis Philbin will fill in as host of ABC's 'New Year's Rockin' Eve 2004' for Dick Clark, who suffered a mild stroke last week, the network announced Monday. Philbin, co-host of the syndicated 'Regis & Kelly', has made subbing for ailing entertainers something of a specialty, coming to David Letterman's aid when Letterman underwent heart bypass surgery in 2000 and recovered from an eye infection in 2003.
"It's the greatest 'temp job' in the world," Philbin said.
~~~~~~
Yep...... Nothing says "rockin" like Regis Philbin!
Yeesh.
Won't Regis be up waaaay past his bedtime? Maybe he'll have to be put down for nappies right after he gets the four o'clock dinner special at Denny's.
I think Clark pushed for him out of fear that a young up-and-comer at the network - like, say, oh, I don't know..... Jimmy Kimmel??? - would be such a hit in re-invigorating the audience that Clark would never be able to resume the job next year.
Except maybe as the old fuddy who takes us back down memory lane with clips of past shows... before he's wheeled back to the ICU.
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Regis Philbin will fill in as host of ABC's 'New Year's Rockin' Eve 2004' for Dick Clark, who suffered a mild stroke last week, the network announced Monday. Philbin, co-host of the syndicated 'Regis & Kelly', has made subbing for ailing entertainers something of a specialty, coming to David Letterman's aid when Letterman underwent heart bypass surgery in 2000 and recovered from an eye infection in 2003.
"It's the greatest 'temp job' in the world," Philbin said.
~~~~~~
Yep...... Nothing says "rockin" like Regis Philbin!
Yeesh.
Won't Regis be up waaaay past his bedtime? Maybe he'll have to be put down for nappies right after he gets the four o'clock dinner special at Denny's.
I think Clark pushed for him out of fear that a young up-and-comer at the network - like, say, oh, I don't know..... Jimmy Kimmel??? - would be such a hit in re-invigorating the audience that Clark would never be able to resume the job next year.
Except maybe as the old fuddy who takes us back down memory lane with clips of past shows... before he's wheeled back to the ICU.
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Sunday, December 12, 2004
WEEKLY ROUNDUP
THE YADA-YADA
"But one of the soldiers pierced His side with a spear,
And immediately blood and water came out.
And he who has seen has testified,
And his testimony is true;
And he knows that he is telling the truth,
So that you also may believe."
John 19:34-36
"But one of the soldiers pierced His side with a spear,
And immediately blood and water came out.
And he who has seen has testified,
And his testimony is true;
And he knows that he is telling the truth,
So that you also may believe."
John 19:34-36
THE CROSSOVER OF THE WEEK
The Destiny of the Spear of Destiny -
'The Librarian: Quest For The Spear' & 'Roar' & 'Jesus Of Nazareth' & 'The Indiana Jones Chronicles' & 'Merlin' & 'Arthur Of The Britons' & 'Hercules: The Legendary Journeys' & 'Jack And The Beanstalk' & 'Fairy Tale Theater' yada yada yada......
[See the crossover essay "Spear Parts".]
BLIPVERTS
Coins -- rather than plastic football players -- scramble from their hiding places and stampede across the varied terrain of a typical home, where they eventually assemble themselves into one very expensive shoe.
The tagline asks, "What could your change be?" So that settles it then. Like many other objects that should be inanimate, money is alive in the TV Universe.
There's that other commercial for ing Direct in which animated dollar bills race to a car dealership in anticipation of a deal being struck. Their efforts are in vain since the dealer doesn't have the car in red in stock.
The blipvert's moral? "Your money is ready even if you're not."
('Coinstar' & 'ing Direct')
HONORABLE MENTIONS
Captain Donald Cragen took a lunch break from the Special Victims Unit to give some information and advice to Detectives Green and Fontana, regarding a case that was solved while he was in charge at the 27th Precinct.
('Law & Order' & 'Law & Order: SVU')
MISSING LINK
Did the Bookworm ever apply for the job of Librarian?
(See the essay "The Worm Turns")
WISH-CRAFT
If Dean Devlin and Noah Wyle and TNT continue to make TV movies about Flynn Carsen, 'The Librarian', here's what I would like to see:
A guest appearance by Tia Carrere as Dr. Sydney Fox, the character she played in the syndicated TV series 'Relic Hunter'.
ECCE PROMO
There's a new wrinkle in the exploding field of product placement - touting Broadway shows. But the practice doesn't make it any less cheesier just because it's "theatuh" and not a feminine hygiene spray.
Could the writers and producers of 'Will & Grace' push Billy Crystal's "700 Sundays" down our throats any harder than they did in the opening for this past week's episode? (Shoving something down the throat is an apt image for this show......)
The only thing that made it somewhat palatable was that it was the effervescent Blythe Danner who was doing the schilling.
('Will & Grace' & "700 Sundays")
THE LEAGUE OF THEMSELVES
Jimmy Johnson - fighting cyborgs
Jeff Gordon - fighting pirates
Dale Earnhardt, Jr. - fighting knights
(all in NASCAR-oriented commercials for FOX Sports)
An alternate universe Penn & Teller caused a flap when it looked like they burned an American flag at a private party for Zoe Bartlet at the White House.
('The West Wing')
RETURN OF.....
Dr. Jacob Lowenstein, who killed his own child back in 1990, was finally released from prison. He didn't have a very long parole however - he was mowed down in a hit-and-run. He lost his leg and eventually his life because of it.
("To come back as Lowenstein after playing him fourteen years ago is a real treat, even though he is rather an unsavory character," says actor David Groh.)
('Law & Order')
THEORY OF RELATEEVEETY
Edward Wilde was the illegitimate son of Bronx-born self-made millionaire Danny Wilde. Even though his father wasn't even aware of his existence, Edward felt personally slighted and vowed revenge. He made his father's aquaintance and worked his way into his trust and confidence, slowly manipulating the older man into naming him as his heir.
If this was true, more than likely he killed his own father to inherit that fortune. But his greed didn't end with wealth. Wilde pursued his studies with a singular passion in order to qualify to be the Librarian, because as every televisiologist and game show fan can tell you, "Knowledge is king, and the reward for that knowledge is king-sized."
The combination of wealth, knowledge, and the power of the Spear of Destiny would have given Edward Wilde power over all the world.
('The Librarian: Quest For The Spear' & 'The Persuaders')
BY ANY OTHER NAME
Judson mentioned that the first Library was destroyed by the Serpent Brotherhood. If this is true, then the leader of that evil cult had to be Muammad Kali Pashu Addams.
In 270 AD, Addams set fire to the great library of Alexandria.
('The Librarian: Quest For The Spear' & 'The Addams Family')
ZONK
The "name of God" in the Shangri-la temple is the word "me" -- in English. And yet the panels pressed by Flynn Carsen are in Tibetan, while he says out loud "M...E."
('The Librarian: Quest For The Spear')
SPLAININ
The temple was built no more than 400 years ago by English-speaking outsiders, for the specific purpose of housing one third of the Spear of Destiny.
Like the carving on the door into Moria, the clue to find it was meant to be a riddle which involved two different languages.
('The Librarian: Quest For The Spear' & "The Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring")
LA TRIVIATA
At last! Finally a story about an epic quest which addressed a very key issue of great concern......
What do you do for toilet paper in the wild?
('The Librarian: Quest For The Spear')
Joey Tribbiani has finally landed a regular TV show now that he's out in L.A.
He's playing the patriarch of a ski resort dynasty in 'Deep Powder'.
('Joey')
REALI-TV
A 48-year-old man was stabbed in his upper abdomen December 7th inside his South Avenue home in Bridgeton, NJ. It apparently happened during an argument over what to watch on television, police said.
The victim was immediately transported to Cooper Hospital/University Medical Center in Camden. He was last reported to police by hospital personnel to be in stable condition, according to Sgt. Thomas Speranza.
Police have charged 23-year-old Isaias Cruz of South Avenue with attempted homicide, possession of a weapon for an unlawful purpose and unlawful possession of a weapon.
OBITUARIES
EDWARD WILDE
Once he had been a Librarian, a member of a select group of guardians sworn to protect the world's greatest treasures. But his lust for power drove him to join the Serpent Brotherhood and seek the Spear of Destiny for his own evil intents.
While trying to kill Flynn Carsen (the new Librarian) with the Spear, Edward pushed the key stones of a pyramid out of alignment and brought the capstone crashing down upon himself.
('The Librarian: Quest For The Spear')
HISTORY, CHANNELLED
The Spear of Destiny is a legendary artifact associated — like the Holy Grail, the Crown of Thorns, and the Shroud of Turin — with the final moments of Jesus Christ.
As first described in John 19:31-37, the Spear, also known as the Spear of Longinus and the Heilige Lance (Holy Lance), was used by a Roman soldier (Gaius Cassius, later called Longinus) to pierce the side of Christ as he hung on the cross. The Spear, bathed in the blood of the Lamb and playing a significant role in the fulfillment of Old Testament prophecy, is believed to have acquired tremendous mystical power. The first sign of that power was the purported healing of Gaius Cassius’s failing eyesight by blood from the wound. The centurion later become an early convert to Christianity.
The Spear subsequently passed through a multitude of hands, coming into the possession of many of Europe’s most important political and military leaders, including Constantine I, Alaric (the Visigoth king who sacked Rome in the year 410), Frankish general Charles Martel, Charlemagne, Frederick of Barbarossa, and Frederick II.
A leader who possessed the Spear was said to be invincible; Charlemagne and Frederick of Barbarossa were undefeated in battle until they let the Spear fall from their hands. A legend arose that whoever claimed the Spear “holds the destiny of the world in his hands for good or evil.”
Hitler’s fascination with the Spear was pivotal in sparking his interest in the occult, which gave birth to his ideas on the origins and purpose of the Germanic race and contributed to his belief in his own destiny as a world conqueror.
Not long after the German annexation of Austria, Hitler ordered the S.S. to seize the Spear and other artifacts from Vienna. They were taken by train to Nuremberg, where they were stored in St. Katherine’s Church.
Nuremberg was captured by Allied troops in April of 1945. The vault was subsequently discovered by American Army officers. The Spear was confiscated by American forces on the afternoon of April 30, 1945, less than two hours before Hitler’s suicide in his underground bunker in Berlin.
Like the Spear’s previous owners, Hitler perished after the relic was taken from him.
It should be noted that all the various purported Holy Lances are only spearheads, not complete weapons. The spear used by Longinus was most likely a Roman hasta (long spear), an iron head mounted on a hardwood shaft roughly 12 feet long. The shaft of the Spear either was not preserved or was lost to the ravages of time.
UNSTUCK IN PRIME TIME
33 AD - Roman Centurion Gaius Cassius pierces the side of Jesus Christ with his spear to determine if he is dead. The Spear is bathed in the blood and watery fluids from the body of the Christ. Cassius repents and converts to Christianity, taking the name of "Longinus".
But at some point after this, perhaps once he had passed the normal age limits of a man in his era without sign of aging, Longinus must have convinced himself that he had been played for a fool; that he had been cheated of the blessed release of Death.
circa 400 AD - Longinus lays siege to the people of the British Isles, using the televersion of the Spear.
('Roar')
410 AD - Alaric, the Visigoth King, sacks Rome. He wields the Spear.
570 AD - The Spear is on display in the basilica of Mt. Sion in Jerusalem, alongside the Crown of Thorns.
615 AD - The point of the blade is broken off during the Persian conquest of Jerusalem.
1098 AD - The second Spear is found by Peter Bartholomew in Antioch. It is now at Etschmiadzin in Armenia. Experts think it may be the shaft of a standard, not of a spear.
1200s - The third Spear makes its way to Krakow, where it is to this day.
1273 AD - The fourth Spear (also known as the Lance of St. Maurice and the Holy Lance of Hapsburg) is used in a coronation ceremony.
1492 AD - Sultan Bajazet presents the rest of the first Spear's spearhead to Pope Innocent VIII. It remains in St. Peter's Basilica to this day.
approximately 1600s - "Hundreds of years ago", the Librarians decided to break up the Spear of the TV Universe and store the other two thirds in hidden places around the world. One section was hidden deep in the Amazon jungle in a Toltec temple, and the other was placed in the safe-keeping of monks in Shangri-La in the Himalayas.
1700s - The tip of the spearhead from the first Spear, which had been set into an icon, had been moved from St. Sophie's in Constantinople to Sainte Chappelle.
During the French Revolution, the icon disappears from the Biblioteque Nationale in Paris.
1882 AD - Richard Wagner writes "Parsifal", an opera in which the Spear was a plot device.
1909 AD - Adolph Hitler first sees the fourth Spear on display in the Treasure House of the Hofsburg Museum.
October 12, 1938 AD - Hitler orders the S.S. to sieze the Spear from Vienna.
1944 AD - The Spear and other holy artifacts are stored in a specially constructed vault beneath St. Katherine's Church in Nuremburg.
April 30, 1945 - American forces confiscate the Spear. Two hours later, Hitler commits suicide.
1946 AD - The Spear and the rest of the Reichkleinodien (Imperial Regalia of the House of Hapsburg) are returned to Austria. They are on display to this day in the Hofsburg Museum. But the Spear's televersion is brought instead to be housed in the Metropolitan Public Library.
2004 AD - The TV Spear's adventures continue....
CRITIC'S CORNER
From the "Librarian In Black" website:
Let me say first what any other librarian watching this movie was sure to notice. Out of the 22 degrees that this chap held, not a single one was a Masters in Library Science (at least it was not mentioned, which you think they would have).
As someone who was watching the movie with me said, "They should have called this movie The Scholar, not The Librarian." Flynn the Librarian was not, in any sense, a librarian. He knew a lot of stuff (the movie emphasized linguistics, sociology, and world history), but "knowing stuff" does not a librarian make. It perpetuates the myth that librarians actually know everything. We can find just about everything, but no, we don't know everything. But then again, this guy wasn't a real librarian anyway, so perhaps the point is moot.
Hits: During Flynn's interview, he is asked what makes him qualified to be The Librarian. In his answer he mentions his web searching skills & being able to set up an RSS feed.
Misses: Not once, not a single solitary time, do we see a computer in The Library. Sheesh. We do see a wall of what I assume were supposed to be card catalog drawers, but they are a foot wide, so who knows.
The Librarian was a typical cheesy action film, with poorly done special effects, errors in logic, a weak story line, and some pretty horrible acting. Oh yes, and it really wasn't about a librarian, either. 80% of the movie had absolutely nothing to do with The Library, much less being a librarian. It was a typical poorly-done hapless adventurer movie. It would have been a horrible, horrible movie--even if it hadn't had the added insult of innacurately portraying librarians. December 06, 2004
CROSSOVER HALL OF FAME
Here's the final rundown of the inductees in the year 2004:
January - Captain James T. Kirk
February - Lt. Uhura
March - Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy
April - Commander Montgomery Scott
May - Yeoman Janice Rand
June - Zephraim Cochrane
Birthday Honors - The Cast Of The Original 'Star Trek':
William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley, James Doohan, George Takei, Nichelle Nichole, Walter Koenig, Majel Barrett, Grace Lee Whitney
July - Ensign Pavel Chekov
August - Helmsman Hikaru Sulu
September - Gene Roddenberry
October - The Tribbles
November - Ambassador Sarek
December - Mr. Spock
Well, that's it for another week. Please stay tuned!
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
(Thanks to Aaron Severson for all of the research on the Spear of Destiny.)
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