Friday, October 30, 2015


Seventy-seven years ago today, "Mercury Theatre On The Air" broadcast their version of H.G. Wells' "The War Of The Worlds".  The radio broadcast caused widespread panic in the country and it happened as well in Toobworld as well - as seen in episodes of 'Touched By An Angel', 'War Of The Worlds', 'Studio One', and in the TV movie "The Night That Panicked America".

Martians do exist in Toobworld, but with the independence of television produtions, they vary in appearance.  This can be splained away by several reasons - some of these races may be invaders from other planets using Mars as a base before launching their attacks on Earth Prime-Time.  The true Martians must have eventually overwhelmed their invaders before they could successfully take over Toobworld.  (And maybe the Doctor helped as well.)

This would be the splainin for the "Martians" as seen in the 'Alfred Hitchcock Presents' episode "Human Interest Story".  They looked human, as the real Martians would in a cursory observation, but that was after they transformed themselves with machinery on Mars.  (It sounds as if they were bird-like in appearance originally, with knees that bent backwards.)

With others, it could be a case of deficiencies in the brand of universal translators used by the aliens.  Since the human mind can't really comprehend a planet they never heard of before, the translator probably uses a term most Earthlings use as a substitute for aliens - "Martians".

The following Martians are the true inhabitants of the Red Planet:

Exigius 12½ AKA Uncle Martin O'Hara
'My Favorite Martian'
Phobos One & Deimos
'Outer Limits' - "Controlled Experiment"
'The Twilight Zone' - "Will The Real Martian Please Stand Up?"
Teenya and other Martians
'The Twilight Zone' - "People Are Alike All Over"

The Martians seen in "People Are Alike All Over" never show their antennae (like Exigius 12½, Phobos One and Deimos do in their respective shows).  And it's the contention of Toobworld Central that Teenya was like Exigius 12½ in being long-lived - in fact, I think she visited Earth Prime-Time back in the 1870s, going by the name of Triste (which translates as sad, mournful).

As for Ross in "Will The Real Martian Please Stand Up?", he doesn't display his antennae either, but he does show off that third arm.  That doesn't disqualify him as being a true TV Martian and for that we can thank the TV version of 'The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy' for (belatedly) setting the precedent with Zaphod Beeblebrox adding not only an extra arm but an extra head as well.  O'Bviously that surgical technique was shared throughout this quadrant of the galaxy.

Then there are these two guys:

'The Twilight Zone' - "Mr. Dingle The Strong"
I think they were two separate alien scientists who - for whatever reason - were fused into one cyborg body.  But as for them originally being Martians?  I don't think so.  I'm not sure where they are from originally; for alls I know, they could be primitive Vulcan off-shoots.

At any rate, "Uncle Martin O'Hara" will always be the template for a true TV Martian.....

Have a safe Halloween tomorrow, Team Toobworld!

* This was the name used in the short story.  In the credits for the episode, they are known as Martian #1 and Martian #2.

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