Friday, February 11, 2011


Okay... deep breath.....

This Toobworld theory is really out there, but I gotta be true to my idea of what the TV Universe promises.....

Tim Tilson:
In the angel world, there are nine orders of angels
and seraphim are the highest.
Then there are cherubim, thrones -#

Captain Burke:
Nothing like starting at the top!
'Burke's Law'

From Wikipedia:
Seraphim (singular "Seraph"), mentioned in Isaiah 6:1-7, serve as the caretakers of God's throne and continuously shout praises. The name Seraphim means "the burning ones." The Seraphim have six wings; two covering their faces, two covering their bodies ("feet"), and two with which they fly. It is said that such a bright light emanates from them that nothing, not even other angelic beings, can look upon them.

Captain Burke:
Did you know that seraphim have six wings
and that in every other way has the body of a human being
'Burke's Law'

When Captain Burke was investigating "Who Killed Snookie Martinelli?", one of his suspects was a jet-setter named Seraphim Parks. She was a beautiful woman who never seemed too connected to the here and now, as evidenced by her lack of concentration and vague answers to Captain Burke's questions.

Captain Burke:
How did you ever get a name like "Seraphim"?

Seraphim Parks:
My mother was an optimist.
'Burke's Law'

By the end of the episode, Captain Burke was making out with Seraphim in the back of his Rolls Royce. Not surprising, considering that Amos Burke is one of the Top Six tele-males to score with the ladies. (The others in that Super Six list? In no particular order: James West, Sam Malone, Martin Tupper, Captain James T. Kirk, and the Fonz.)
Anyhoo, as he pulled out of his lip-locking clinch, Burke noticed a white feather on his shoulder. And he pondered the pozz'bility that maybe Seraphim Parks really was an angel. (Maybe not of the order of seraphim, but perhaps of a lower order?)

Seraphim acted coy and didn't answer him when he asked her directly if she was an angel. So, this being Toobworld, why can't we accept that pozz'bility? What if Seraphim Parks really was an angel?
I know what you're thinking - that's too much of a leap of whimsy for a light-hearted detective drama like 'Burke's Law', which for the most part was rooted in "reality". Sure - if you're only looking at 'Burke's Law' as the only TV show in its own little world. O'Bviously that's how most TV shows are written - as if they have no connection to any other program on the air. But Toobworld Central looks at this show as a jigsaw piece in the grand tele-mosaic that makes up the TV Universe. And Toobworld contains not only millionaire police detectives but also angels. And Martians, and genies, and witches, and at least one talking horse.

So in the grand scheme of things, Amos Burke shares the same dimension as Castiel, Earl, Random, Monica, Tess, and Andrew, Marty DePolo, Jonathan Smith, Doug and Lexie Monroe, Mr. Angel, and even Tom Smothers.
Seraphim Parks may have even been a "fallen" angel - she did seem to have a naughty side. But she may have deliberately led Burke to who killed Snooky Martinelli; and she may have taken steps to indirectly save his life in the final confrontation. (If you ever get the chance to see the episode, you'll see the pun in that.....)

Captain Burke:
I've always been told to stay on the side of the angels.
'Burke's Law'

But it doesn't just end there. As I mentioned earlier, Amos Burke had a way with women, and although early 1960's TV couldn't come out and say so, he probably had his way with most of those women. Times being what they are, he also probably didn't bother with a condom......

Sooner or later, some of these women who had sex with Burke may have become pregnant. We already know Burke's late wife, who must have left him at some point before the series began, bore him a son whom they named Peter. (I think the 'Burke's Law' sequel from the 1990's would like us to think Peter Burke was born after the original series ended. But I'm not going to give actor Peter Barton the opportunity to slice a decade off his age. If he was born in 1956, Peter Burke was born in 1956.)

So anyhoo, we know Burke's li'l swimmers could do the job if the circumstances were right.

If any of those women became pregnant, Amos was wealthy enough to pay them off, to make the problem "go away". That could either have meant going away to a secluded and most likely luxurious location until the baby was born and then given up for adoption. Or he may have even paid for them to have abortions, which were illegal at that time. (What fun is there in a TV character who doesn't have moral shades of gray?) I'd like to think that Seraphim Parks, the angel in mortal form, deliberately became pregnant by Amos Burke in order to play her pre-destined role in the mythology of the Catholic faith.

I think Seraphim gave birth to a nephilim.

From Wikipedia:
[There were suggestions that] the Epistle [of Jude] refers implicitly to the paternity of Nephilim as heavenly beings who came to earth and had sexual intercourse with women.

Some Christian commentators have argued against this view, citing Jesus' statement that angels do not marry. Others believe that Jesus was only referring to angels in heaven.

The story of the Nephilim is chronicled more fully in the Book of Enoch. The Greek, Aramaic, and main Ge'ez manuscripts of 1 Enoch and Jubilees obtained in the 19th century and held in the British Museum and Vatican Library, connect the origin of the Nephilim with the fallen angels, and in particular with the egregoroi (watchers). Samyaza, an angel of high rank, is described as leading a rebel sect of angels in a descent to Earth to have sexual intercourse with human females:

And it came to pass when the children of men had multiplied that in those days were born unto them beautiful and comely daughters. And the angels, the children of the heaven, saw and lusted after them, and said to one another: 'Come, let us choose us wives from among the children of men and beget us children.'

Hot stuff!

Like the angels, the nephilim have a presence in Toobworld. FBI Agents Scully and Mulder tried to protect four girls who were the offspring of a seraphim and a mortal woman, only to see all four of them killed in order to bring their souls directly to Heaven. (The episode "All Souls") And there was even a three-part mini-series, "Fallen", in which the nephilim were the major characters, especially 18 year old Aaron Corbett who learned that he was an angel/human hybrid.

Hey, it can't be only the Devil who has children (like Sam Oliver). And what was Satan but a fallen angel as well?

All of those sources for the stories of the nephilim have it that male angels mated with mortal women. But why couldn't a female angel take a human male as her lover and ultimately the father of her child?

It could have happened with Amos Burke... if Seraphim Parks really was an angel, that is.

As Aaron Corbett proved, not all nephilim had to be inherently evil. Certainly the four sisters in that episode of 'The X-Files' weren't evil. Nevertheless, the Heavenly Host seemed determined to track them and destroy them. In order to protect her child by Amos Burke in our imagined scenario, Seraphim Parks would have had to change the child's name, perhaps even give him up for adoption to protect his identity. As such, this child would have no idea about his origins or why strange things seemed to happen around him.

And I think we have a candidate to be that nephilim son of Amos Burke.....

FBI Agent Dale Cooper

We don't know anything about Cooper's private life until he went to Haverford College. And there was no mention of who the other members of his family were.

There is a bit of a stumbling block to this idea however - Dale Cooper supposedly was born April 19, 1954. But unlike the case with Peter Burke, I think we can make the adjustment. He may have been born in 1965, but a case of SORAS - Soap Opera Rapid Aging Syndrome - would have aged him to look like he was at least ten years older than he was, and his mother could have forged his documents to reflect that.

This could have happened based on his "alien"/human hybrid nature. We've seen that happen before in the original version of 'V' and currently in the 'Smallville' dimension.
Or perhaps Seraphim befriended a witch with the powers to magically change a person's age. Serena would do nicely as a culprit.

So the seraphim sent to destroy the child would be looking for a newborn in 1965, not a ten year old child. And then it was just a matter of finding a family to take him in and raise him as their own. Or Seraphim could have just changed her name and raised him herself. Like I said, we have no idea who Dale Cooper's parents were, or if he was raised just by his mother.....

Why did I choose Dale Cooper?
There was always something... "off" about Coop. He determined who his suspects were by throwing rocks at their names. He got results in his investigations not by any skills of deduction, but via dreams. There was always something about him that was like having one foot over the boundary into the Twilight Zone. And that seemed to be confirmed once he crossed over into the Black Lodge dimension to face BOB.

Who could have done that without some inherent connection to the supernatural?

That connection may have also made it easier for Cooper to be possessed by a demon, which may be what the Heavenly Host feared with the nephilim.

And imagining Kyle Maclachlan as the son of Janice Rule and Gene Barry isn't that hard to accept...... If you can think of any other TV character who would be a better fit for the nephilim son - or even daughter! - of Captain Burke (perhaps someone with a better placement on the Toobworld timeline), let me know.

I realize that this theory of relateeveety is a tough sell. But if Toobworld is truly to be a universe in which the mundane can exist alongside the magical, I have to be open to the pozz'bilities.

'Burke's Law'
'Twin Peaks'
'The X-Files'

'Saving Grace'
'Out Of The Blue'
'Touched By An Angel'
'Teen Angel'
'Highway To Heaven'
'Heaven Help Us'
'Good Heavens'
'The Smothers Brothers Show'



Hugh said...

The Nephilim (or, at least, its take on them) figure as a part of the mythology on Hex.

Toby O'B said...

One day I'll have to get back into that show. I did a few episodes and then bailed.....