Friday, August 11, 2006


Even if you didn't see the premiere of 'Three Moons Over Milford' on ABC Family, you probably know the premise: a comet has shattered the Moon into three huge chunks. Nobody has any definitive data, but it's assumed that any one or all of the chunks could come crashing down to destroy all life on Earth at any time.

As such, people all over the world are abandoning their old ways of life to follow their dreams while they still have a chance. And the series focuses on how the people of Milford, Vermont, (founded in 1738) are doing just that.

Well, with such a bold plot detail, obviously 'Three Moons Over Milford' must be relegated to some alternate TV dimension, as Earth Prime-Time must resemble Earth Prime when it comes to the Moon (as well as to the Presidency).

But which TV dimension should it be?

No matter which dimension we choose, no new TV series could be located there if there's even a chance that the Moon might end up in a shot.

So TV dimensions which have TV shows currently in production have to be eliminated. These dimensions would include the following programs:

'Doctor Who'
'Prison Break'
'Stargate SG-1' & 'Stargate: Atlantis'

I'd also exclude several other TV dimensions because there is always a chance more TV shows will be added to their ranks in the future:

Earth Prime-Time Delayed ('Battlestar Galactica', 'The New Addams Family', 'L.A. Dragnet')
Earth Prime-Time MOTW ('Vanished', 'Washington: Behind Closed Doors', 'Prime Target')
Earth Prime-Time Doofus ('The Secret Files Of Desmond Pfeiffer', 'That's My Bush!')

A few weeks ago I suggested that the dimension that housed 'Commander In Chief' could be the same world in which all sentient life was extinguised by 2012. This was due to an Alzheimer's-like condition that a team of scientists inflicted on the population in order to wipe out all forms of aggression. (This was depicted in an episode of 'Stephen King's Nightmares & Dreamscapes'.)

But that tragic event was far enough in the future to avoid being a continuity problem for 'Commander In Chief'. While the series is canceled, there is still a possibility of perhaps two TV movies to pick up the story and wrap it all up neatly.

Since the Moon's destruction has already occurred on 'Three Moons Over Milford', we can't place it in the same dimension - otherwise it would be the only topic of discussion in Mackenzie Allen's Oval Office.

(Oddly enough, the actual destruction of the Moon has only been seen so far in the show's previews. When we first meet the residents of Milford, the splintering of our planet's satellite occurred at least several weeks in the past.)

I suppose it's the kind of situation with which Aaron Sorkin would have had a field day. He would have had his characters from 'The West Wing' discussing all the options and ramifications of this disaster while walking down corridors really fast.

But I also like to think that someday, perhaps a decade from now, there might be some kind of reunion TV movie for 'The West Wing'. And if so, I don't want to waste time imagining what those characters might have done in that situation. It would be just my luck to revisit them in an update and find them all gathered for a memorial to their late boss at the Bartlet Presidential Library under a hazy full Moon.

Every TV dimension has its Superman. 'The Adventures Of Superman' of the main Toobworld have already ended, as he passed away from Kryptonite radiation poisoning. (That's my theory at any rate, which also splains away a plot discrepancy from 'Crime Story'!) Meanwhile, the Man of Steel from the world of 'The West Wing' is still a young man of college age in 'Smallville', Kansas. And the Superman whom we saw as a 'Superboy' in the 1980s would be residing in the dimension of TV remakes, so we'd eliminate him as well.

But perhaps the world of 'Three Moons Over Milford' is the same dimension in which 'Lois & Clark' took place. And even though the general populace of that Vermont town doesn't know about it, perhaps Clark Kent's altar-ego is the only thing that's keeping those three giant chunks of green cheese from crashing down through the atmosphere.

Let's hope so. Because I rather enjoyed the pilot episode and would like to see it hang around for awhile....


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