Tuesday, April 19, 2005


Fixated on the Conclave of Cardinals as a lapsed but still interested Catholic, and viewing it all from a Toobworld perspective, I think my brain might have wandered a bit too far from the Sistine Chapel.

It might have been the special brand of incense I bought down in Tompkins Square Park......

In Toobworld, it's possible for food to be alive. Think of that ham sandwich in those orange juice commercials; the chorus of singing raisins in the Post Raisin Bran cereal bowl (not to mention the California Raisins). Arte Johnson played a pickle in a Heinz jar and there was Big Fig Newton. And you could eat most of the Fruit Of The Loom boys but not Charlie the Tuna, as he would never be chosen as a tuna that tastes good.

Sorry, Charlie.

So if the food is alive and can reason, couldn't that food pursue a spiritual path? And couldn't such a religious foodstuff become a Catholic in that substrata of TV Life?

This is where I got that wacked idea - in trying to talk about some of the papal contenders, I mangled one cardinal's name and instead called him Cardinal TIramisu.

I guess if living food formed their own sect, perhaps the leader of their church might be Pope Eggs Benedict.

Okay, I'll go lie down now......


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