Monday, June 12, 2017


"They're auctioning off the most divine Revere tea set."
Frances Galesko 

When celebrities appear in TV shows as themselves, they are portraying their fictional televersions.  And just because we don't all show up in TV shows, that doesn't mean we don't have fictional televersions in Toobworld as well.  

Every so often I like to take a look at what the televersions of my friends could be like.  My favorite victim - er, subject! - is Mark Thompson, mainly because of all the great pictures he posts that make it look like he's in the worlds of 'Doctor Who', 'Game of Thrones', etc.

So today's a very special day for some friends of mine and I thought I might tell you a tale of Toobworld about them.....

I know Amy Lee Chen through one of my first Internet groups, the Idiot's Delight Digest.  The tea entrepreneur is married to Neil "Corny" O'Connell, a radio DJ.  

From Wikipedia:
Between 9 and 10 p.m. on the night of April 18, 1775, Joseph Warren told Revere and William Dawes that the king's troops were about to embark in boats from Boston bound for Cambridge and the road to Lexington and Concord. Warren's intelligence suggested that the most likely objectives of the regulars' movements later that night would be the capture of Adams and Hancock. They did not worry about the possibility of regulars marching to Concord, since the supplies at Concord were safe, but they did think their leaders in Lexington were unaware of the potential danger that night. Revere and Dawes were sent out to warn them and to alert colonial militias in nearby towns.

On that night, Revere was working on a teapot to complete a set, but he was called away for his famous ride before he could make his distinctive mark on the teapot.  Summoned almost 200 years into the future by the bungling magic of the witch Esmerelda, Paul Revere was finally able to make right what once went wrong and gifted the teapot to another witch, Samantha Stevens.

The teapot remained in the possession of the Stevens family, even after the death of Darrin and the transformation of his wife into an object of usefulness once she neared the point of death - as per the rules of witchcraft.  (There is no confirmation that this actually happened, but I'd like to think that she transformed herself into a remote control.  That way, somebody could always bring back the series and even keep the late Elizabeth Montgomery involved* by having her image showing up on TV screens with edited dialogue snippets which would comment on any given situation - much like the old TV clips that ran through Martin Tupper's mind in 'Dream On'.)

At some point in those chaotic times following the untimely deaths of Darrin and Samantha Stevens (which had to occur at some point between 1972 and 1974), the family no longer possessed the teapot.  Whoever gained possession of it added a pewter creamer and sugar bowl, both made by Paul Revere, to complete the set.  I think it would have looked somewhat similar to this set made by Revere in 1799:

The tea set was then put up for auction at the Lillaby Auction House, located in Los Angeles, in 1974.  This was the auction which Frances Galesko was so eager to attend in order to get that "divine Revere tea set."  Unfortunately for Mrs. Galesko, she never got that chance - her husband Paul, a Pulitzer-winning photographer, staged her kidnapping and murder.

After that, the Revere tea set disappeared from observation in Toobworld.  And that's when Amy and Neil - you remember Amy and Neil? This is a story about Amy and Neil - enter this form of fanfic.

It was 2014, ten years after Amy and Neil had been married on June 12th.  As the date of the anniversary approached, Neil was hoping to find the perfect gift for his wife.  He knew that the traditional gift for the tenth anniversary was tin, aluminum, or pewter, and he spurned those first two options as not being worthy as presents for Amy.  No, it had to be pewter.  And a special kind of pewter which would be a statement about Amy and his love for her.

But where to look for it?

When he wasn't working at the radio station in those months leading up to the anniversary, Neil took a series of cabs in his search all over Manhattan for his elusive prize.  But nothing he saw fit his vision of the perfect gift.  Eventually, Neil hit the pavement as he wandered the jumbled trap streets of the Village without paying attention to where he was going.  It didn't take long for him to get lost in the darkening of twilight.

He spun about trying to orient himself and that's when he saw it - a curio shop named VILLAGE VINTAGE.  

Neil shrugged.  What did he have to lose?

It was hard to maneuver through all the clutter of bric-a-brac that clogged the aisles of Village Vintage, with no rhyme nor reason to its placement.  "Everything's helter-scelsa in here," he mused to himself.

Just as he was about to give up on his quest, Neil nearly knocked over a pewter tea set on the counter.

Success gleamed in his eyes as he realized he had finally found what he was looking for: pewter as the traditional wedding gift, in the form of a tea set to pay homage to Amy's passion for the beverage and its customs.

He called out for help from the staff of the curio shop but no one seemed to be manning the place.  Hoping the store's owner wouldn't mind and that it was enough money, Neil left a wad of bills on the counter, held in place by a Toby mug.

He only got around the corner, about to hail a Sunshine cab, before he decided that he should go back; not just to make one more attempt to find the shop owner, but also in hopes they might have some pewter spoons to complement the tea set.

But Village Vintage was no longer there.  Instead there was a coffeehouse called The Mute Trumpet in its place.

It's just like they say: "You won't find it in the Yellow Pages or advertised in the local papers. Its reputation is spread purely by word-of-mouth, from one satisfied customer to another."

And so that's how "the most divine Revere tea set" came into the possession of the televersions of Amy and Neil.....

They didn't have it long though.  Agents for a mysterious warehouse in the Dakotas, snagged, bagged, and tagged the teapot as an artifact imbued with mystical powers since it had connections to both magic and time travel after its reunion with Paul Revere.  Apparently its use imbued the tea leaves to gift the power of second sight upon the person who drank the contents.

But that was their televersions.  I'm sure in the real world, Neil and Amy's tenth wedding anniversary was just as memorable.  

Today is their 13th anniversary.  Here's to many more memorable anniversaries for them both......

'Columbo' - "Negative Reaction"
'Bewitched' - "Paul Revere Rides Again"
'The Twilight Zone' - "Wong's Lost And Found Emporium"
'Warehouse 13'


* But if you think that would be disrespectful and nobody would dare to pull off such a stunt, you're kidding yourself about how those suits work at the TV networks.

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