Monday, May 11, 2015


There's a signpost up ahead.  Next stop... 'Warehouse 13'?

There were a lot of strange items to be found in 'The Twilight Zone', not just strange people (and aliens.)  And the agents of 'Warehouse 13' were in the business of collecting such "artifacts" for the collection.  (According to the 'Warehouse 13' wiki: Artifacts are mysterious relics, fantastical objects, and supernatural souvenirs that are packed with enough energy to somehow move and affect other objects [and people]).

So some of them may have been targeted by the agents once they pinged on the warehouse tech.

Several of the episodes would be disqualified from consideration even if they had artifacts that might be tempting.  This is because they take place either on other planets ("The Little People", "Elegy", "The Invaders") or because they take place on an alternate Earth ("Eye Of The Beholder", "Number 12 Looks Just Like You", "The Midnight Sun") or in an uncertain future ("Time Enough At Last", "Two", "The Old Man In The Cave".)

One that would have escaped notice would have been the tape recorder that belonged to playwright Gregory West.  The recorder was just a conduit through which West was able to focus his descriptions of people and things which would then come to life. ("A World Of His Own")

As for the slot machine that terrorized Franklin Gibbs in "The Fever", I'm thinking that was all in his mind.  Therefore there would be no one-armed bandit to be found in his hotel room where it had compelled Gibbs to leap to his death.

By the time the police arrived at Bentley Finch's mansion to investigate his death by drowning in his swimming pool, all of the electric machines that drove him to his death, including the electric razor and the typewriter, were long gone from the estate.  They probably all clambered into the car and hit the high road to escape.  How were they able to do this and still not be tracked by the Warehouse 13 equipment?  It's because those infernal machines did not possess the same type of powers exhibited by other artifacts. 

Actually these objects were transformed humanoids - former witches and warlocks who had metamorphed into these things in accordance with one of the tenets of warlock law established in 'Bewitched': Once a witch or warlock had reached an age where their powers were no longer viable, they had to transform into something that would continue to be of use. 

Somehow Finch had gained possession of these items for his own personal use, but it is unknown if he ever knew what - who! - they had been in the past.  Perhaps he had "A Thing About Machines" that had once been magical humanoids.

So here is my Super Six List of 'Twilight Zone' objects that could possibly be found in the general archives of the 'Warehouse 13' collection: 

"Every artifact in this Warehouse is an extension of a person.”
Mrs. Frederic
'Warehouse 13'

1]  Barbara Jean Trenton's movie reel ("The Sixteen Millimeter Shrine")

The former movie actress yearned to live in the past, surrounded by the fake trappings of a movie set which for her had more to offer than her current reality.  She was finally able to achieve this, piercing the dimensional veil and crossing over into... the Cineverse.  She was now living in the movie universe rather than Toobworld, which I suppose gave her some kind of celluloid immortality.  She would be surrounded by not only the character played by her former co-stars, but also by the characters she had once played as well.

That reel of film may have proven dangerous - how do we know it wouldn't entrap others who watched it?  Even after Miss Trenton had crossed over, she was still able to interact with her home dimension (as we saw when she threw her handkerchief back for her friend and agent Danny Weis.)  How could the country - all of Toobworld! - feel safe when an army of silver nitrate soldiers and warriors from hundreds of film battles might spill through in a suprise attack?  So the Warehouse agents would have felt it necessary to lock that reel of film away.

2]  Chester Dietrich's camera ("A Most Unusual Camera")

Miss Trenton's movie reel was imbued with its artifact properties when she stepped into the Cineverse.  But camera already had its magical powers when Dietrich acquired it.  Perhaps the box camera gained its properties from being in the possession of Alfred Fellig for so many decades.  (As seen in the "Tithonus" episode of 'The X-Files', Fellig was a man of note for having achieved unwanted immortality back during the Civil War.  Such a power would likely imbue anything he owned for a long period of time with some kind of power of its own.)

By the end of the episode, this most unusual camera would have been collected by the NYPD CSU and eventually returned to the curio shop from which it was stolen.  (Maybe the pawn shop run by Phobus in 'The Outer Limits' - "Controlled Experiment"?)  It would be simple enough for the Warehouse agents to just go in and purchase the camera from the disguised Martian.....

3]  Fitzgerald Fortune's piano ("A Piano In The House")

Many times the Warehouse agents used some of the artifacts in the course of their missions to retrieve even more artifacts.  So I would think that, especially in these perilous times, the Government might want to borrow this particular artifact to use in interrogations of terrorists.  As with the camera, the piano gained its abilities before the cruel-hearted critic picked it up; perhaps it had the power to affect people's emotions and compel them to reveal their true inner natures.

We got to see the previous owner of the player piano, a curio shop owner.  But it makes me smile to think that Fortune went window shopping at the pawnshop run by the Martian Phobos One.  Wouldn't that be a start for both of them if they saw how alike they resembled each other?  (Also, I think Fitzgerald Fortune wrote his critiques for the New York Ledger.  And it's pozz'ble, just pozz'ble, that he was friends with sportswriter Oscar Madison.)

4]  Bunny Blake's ring ("The Ring-A-Ding Girl")

The ring was a gift from the fan club of the Hollywood star and apparently it was already imbued with its magic.  But I think it's more likely that its power was triggered by Bunny Blake's terror as the plane was making its final descent towards a fatal crash, killing everyone on board as well all of the people in Bunny's hometown who were gathered in that field for the annual picnic.  The ring then gained the power to send her spirit back in Time in order to warn the people of her town.  After her mission proved successful, the ghost of Bunny Blake was transported back to the future to meet its fate.

Whether the ring could have had that same effect for someone else is - like the origin of "Twilight Zone Day" - unknown.  It seems too specific an effect to ever happen again.  But the agents of the Warehouse couldn't risk that. 

5]  Nikita Kruschev's Model A ("The Whole Truth")

Purchased from used car salesman Harvey Hunnicutt, the Model A would have forced the Soviet Premier to always tell the truth.  After just a week of this threat to his hold on the top position in the USSR heirarchy.  So when the Warehouse 13 agents came calling for the car, Kruschev would sureof ly have been happy to part with it.  (You know what else could be in the Warehouse, thanks to Kruschev?  His shoe from his United Nations visit.)

The car already had this power to compel its owner to tell the truth when Hunnicutt bought it from an old man.  In the episode, the old man's name was not given so I plan to use this as an opportunity to make a theoretical connection to another TV show.  George Chandler, who played the old man, played a man named Clay Hunnicutt in an episode of 'The People's Choice'.  In searching for a used car lot where he could unload the burden of ownership, Clay Hunnicutt may have chosen this particular lot because of Harvey Hunnicutt's name.  Perhaps he thought he could claim family ties if necessary during negotiations.

6]  Charles Whitley's tin can  ("Kick The Can")

Imbued with so much longing on the part of Mr. Whitley to recapture his youth, blended in with similar feelings from other residents of his retirement home, that simple tin can could have easily have granted youth to anyone who just happened to hold it afterwards.  Such a power could have made a fortune to anyone who knew how to market it.  And what if it fel into the hands of terrorists who wanted to gain entry into the country?  Who would suspect a bus full of school children?

That battered old tin can would have been in safer hands archived in the warehouse.

There are two other artifacts from 'The Twilight Zone' that I think would have been archived down in the Dark Vault where the really dangerous artifacts would have been kept.  One would have been the homicidal doll known as Talky Tina.  ('Living Doll')  In fact, I would not be surprised if Artie Nielsen had the damn little homonculus bronzed to keep it from getting loose in the warehouse.

Another would be the pair of shoes that were possessed by the soul of a gangster still seeking revenge against those who had wronged him in life.  The mob boss who ordered his execution would surely have been dead by now, but the thirst for revenge may have been too overpowering for the spirit to ever voluntarily cross over to the other side.  ("Dead Man's Shoes")

I hope you enjoyed this Super Six List of theoretical links between 'Warehouse 13' and various episodes of 'The Twilight Zone'.  I posted it today because for some unknown reason May 11 is considered "Twilight Zone Day" and I am submitting this for your approval as this year's contribution to the celebration of one of the most intelligent shows - created by one of the great minds in Television, Rod Serling.

There are so many other objects to be found in 'The Twilight Zone' that could have made this list - the Kanamid cookbook, Somerset Frisby's harmonica, Ramon Clemente's mirror, the masks of the Harper family, Joey Crown's trumpet, Connie Miller's knife, and Marcia White herself!  (At least her thimble.)  And who knows?  Maybe they are to be found in 'Warehouse 13' as well.  But these six are the ones that intrigued me the most.



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