Monday, August 19, 2013


A lot of my theories of relateeveety hinge on extra-marital affairs.  This helps splain away how two characters could be father and son and yet still have different last names.

This became pervasive in Toobworld thanks to the glut of romantic entanglements when soap operas dominated daytime programming.  Even today when there are only a handful of soaps left, this influence still holds true.

And it wasn't just in modern times.  Such carnal behavior is as old as man and woman.  So it should be no surprise that it hold true for the days of the wild, wild West as well.

Such a case is the Carpenter family tree.  With their tele-genetics, two distinct strands of DNA kept repeating with every other generation.  Ken Carpenter looked exactly like his grandfather, while Ken's father Edwin looked exactly like his grandfather.

"I wear a bowtie now.  Bowties are cool."
Now, the resemblance between Luke Carpenter and his grandson Ken is easy to prove.  Luke was buried in an avalanche while prospecting for gold in Alaska in 1900.  Sixty-seven years later, his body was discovered and resuscitated.

Luke went to live with his son Edwin (who now looked so much older than him) and his grandson Ken.  And he and Ken would often be mistaken for each other and would even trade places.

But how can we be sure that Edwin's grandfather looked exactly like him?  It's not like he showed up in the program.

This is where the theory of relateeveety kicks in.

Toobworld Central contends that Luke Carpenter is the bastard son of Theophilus Ragan, who was the ne'er-do-well warden of the prison in the Arizona territory.  He ran the place as his own private kingdom, overseeing the crimes committed by the prisoners on his orders.

It's not hard to imagine that Warden Ragan would have taken a mistress, got her pregnant, and then refused to marry her.  He was that sort of rotter.

His grandson Edwin wasn't as staid in his youth as he was in his later years.  He sowed wild oats of his own, I'm thinking.  And we met his illegitimate son in another sitcom.

Lou Grant had an old buddy named John Corcoran.  He was a globe-trotting journalist with a roving eye.  And he set his sights on Lou's associate producer, Mary Richards.  

But even though she was attracted to him, Mary was able to resist his charms because she was able to recognize the kind of man he was.  (That's not to say they didn't sleep together, however.....)

And that's how we've extended the Carpenter family tree back another g-g-generation, as well as expand the last one.  (It's unknown if Ken Carpenter or John Corcoran - or even Luke Carpenter for that matter! - had any children.....)

'The Second Hundred Years'
'The Wild, Wild West' - "The Night Of The Bars Of Hell"
'The Mary Tyler Moore Show' - "Just A Lunch"


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