Monday, January 26, 2009

"THE LIBRARIAN": ZONK OF THE VAMPIRE

On Sunday, I finally watched the third installment in the "Librarian" franchise, "Curse Of The Judas Chalice". And it had some interesting bits o' trivia which played into the overall picture for Toobworld, while there was also a huge Zonk that needed splainin.

The female lead, played by Stana Katic, was a vampire named Simone Renoir. She told Finn Carsen that she was 403 years old, and that she had been born in France in 1603. So, even though this tele-flick wasn't broadcast until December of 2008, it was taking place in 2006.

This is perfect for the Toobworld timeline! Finn was gobsmacked that there could really be such a thing as vampires - even though he would brag that he had faced off against 35 known monstrous threats. (As well as dealing with such things as Excalibur and ghosts.)

In the series 'True Blood', it's been two years since Tru-Blood was introduced on the market, giving vampires an alternative to snacking on humans. So "Curse Of The Judas Chalice" must have taken place just before vampires finally revealed themselves to the world and "lived" openly among humans.

But there was another revelation in the TV-movie that is a contradiction to an established Toobworld premise - the one true Dracula, man and vampire, as played by Rudolf Martin in a TV movie and in an episode of 'Buffy The Vampire Slayer', respectively. And yet Professor Lazlo revealed himself to be Vlad Dracul near the end of the two hours.

Of course, lots of other TV shows and TV movies, and even TV commercials, which all are written and produced as if they exist in their own private world (which is their right), have presented their own versions of Count Dracula or of Vlad Tepes the Impaler. But they're either situated in alternate TV dimensions, the best way to dispose of such Zonks if they're from TV movies, or they are simply imposters; at best they are related to the original Dracul and carry the family name.

I want to keep "The Librarian" franchise in the main Toobworld, so there has to be a way to work around this. And it's my contention that as a man, Vlad Dracul sired a lot of illegitimate bastards. Being the self-centered egomaniac dictator that he was, he named them all after himself. Not all of them became vampires like their old man, but Lazlo Vlad could be counted among those of his off-spring.

(There's another way in which a vampire can claim the name of Dracula - as the sign by which their lineage can be traced to the vampire who "sired" [or embraced] them. This is why Grandpa on 'The Munsters' bore the name of "Dracula". But Toobworld Central doesn't believe he was born a Dracula. It's the Toobworld conceit that he traveled back in Time from Brooklyn in the 1930's/40's using Woodrow Mulligan's time helmet from 'The Twilight Zone' or some other temporal device. He was then embraced into vampirism by Count Dracula himself and lived out his life through the centuries again.)

Following this theory, you can then surmise from the look in Lazlo "Vlad" Dracule's eyes that he relished the idea that these humans thought of him as THE Vlad Dracul.

So that takes the bite out of that Zonk....

Owoooooooo! Real scary, kids!

BCnU!
Toby O'B

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