2023 TOOBITS AWARDS
It's that time of year again, when we all make
lists and think back over the past year, in whatever field of interest concerns
us, and chronicle the high points and the lows. For the past few years
I've been presenting this compilation as an awards show, the Toobits, which of
course celebrates my two bits about Toobworld.
As it is with any such list you'll find in TV
columns across the country these last few weeks, these are my opinions.
You're welcome to your own and I hope you'll share them, but I'm sticking
to my weapons of choice. (It could be you won't see something that was a
favorite of yours because I just never got around to seeing it. There's
only so much time in the world - even for a do-nothing-else-anyway sort like
me! - and I've only got the two eyes, even if they do operate independently of
each other at times.)
Unlike the Emmy Awards which will just keep
handing out trophies to some shows forever, only shows, characters and what-not
that debuted in 2023 can be considered. (And by "debuted", I
mean that which I first came in contact with in 2023. It could be a few years
old, but if it's my first time seeing it, it's new.)
This year’s list of older shows which were new to me:
‘Slow Horses’
‘Schmigadoon’
‘Year of the Rabbit’
‘Ted Lasso’
‘The Returned’
‘Hjerson’
‘Picard’ (I took a sabbatical after the first season which did not impress me.)
This one-time-only rule includes characters who
have been recast; those are still the same characters who already exist in
Toobworld. (But there were a few notable appearances that deserved
honorable mention, and they get it.)
So without further ado, let's have at it:
BEST NEW
TV SHOW
IMPORT
(TIE)
‘Slow Horses’
My favorite sub-genre in espionage stories are those set in the drab and
dreary, soul-crushing bureaucracy in which John Le Carré excelled as a
writer. Not for me those spy stories
full of high-tech gadgetry, unless it was a spoof, like ‘Get Smart’. Invariably, there would be adventure, but
nothing ever really changed for the better.
‘Tinker, Taylor, Soldier, Spy’, ‘The Game’, ‘Danger Man’, and now ‘Slow
Horses’. More on this later with a look
at the main character….
‘The Returned’ (France)
This is over ten years old now, but first time for me. I binged the two seasons in two days back in
January as part of my free trial of Topic.
I vaguely remember the American remake, but was not impressed even
though I usually like the work of Carlton Cuse.
(Runner-Up)
‘Agatha Christie’s Hjerson’
Wrap your head around this concept – Hjerson is a fictional detective
created by a fictional character (Ariadne Oliver in the Hercule Poirot stories)
who now has his own TV series. So he
could be existing in Toobworld’s Toobworld!
DOMESTIC
(TIE)
‘Poker Face’
People are comparing this to COLUMBO and I see that, but I feel a Roy Huggins
vibe in the show having its “hero” traveling all over the country.
‘Ted Lasso’
I can pay no higher compliment to any show than to say “I want to live in that
series.” This is one of the rare few.
WORST NEW
TV SHOW
‘1899’
I’m surprised there are so many advocates for this series, but I’m not
surprised that Netflix cancelled it.
Turgid, depressing, way too dark in tone and lighting.
BEST TV
MOVIE
“The Pale Blue Eye”
Like all good mysteries should do, this plays fair with the audience. All the clues are laid out so that the
audience can reach the solution before the character.
BEST TV
MOVIE REVISION
“An Adventure In Space and Time” has a new closing scene in which “William
Hartnell” has a vision of a new actor playing the Doctor in the Future. When the movie first debuted, Matt Smith was
seen in the role. Now we see Ncuti
Gatwa.
BEST
MINI-SERIES
‘Holding’
Based on a mystery novel by talk show host Graham Norton, this fed into one of
my favorite genres – quirky small communities.
Conleth Hill delivered another great performance. The whole cast was quite good and fleshed out
their characters to be nuanced, true people.
BEST
ONLINE TV
‘Poker Face’ for Drama
‘Bupkis’ for Comedy
BEST
COMMERCIAL
IMPORT
“Un-Australia” for Australia Day.
It serves as a great example of Earth Prime-Time being markedly
different from Earth Prime.
DOMESTIC
“Don’t Clown’ from Ocean Spray Diet Cranberry Juice
BEST
EPISODE, ANY GENRE
‘Ted Lasso’ – There were three!
1] “Carole of the Bells”
2] “Sunflowers”
3] “So Long, Farewell”
One of the best-written series ever.
It’s hard to believe that it grew out of a series of NBC Sports
commercials.
RUNNERS-UP
‘So Help Me Todd’ – “Gloom and Boom”
WOW! This was like “Die Hard” but with a
doofus Bruce Willis. For once, it was a
better showcase for Marcia Gay Harden than it was for Skylar Astin.
‘The Equalizer’ – “No Way Out”
Gripping and intense, a good character study, excellent lead-in to a new
storyline with an intro of a new supporting character, and sadly… far too real.
BEST
SERIES RETURN*
‘Frasier’
* For those wondering, ‘Doctor Who’ was not eligible. A show needs to be cancelled in order to
return. ‘Doctor Who’ just took a VERY
long extended break between seasons.
BEST
SEASON FINALE
‘Grantchester’ - S8E6
If that proved to be the series finale as well, I would be okay with that. This really could be seen as the perfect
wrap-up for the series. (Although I
would have liked for Reverend Sidney Chambers to make a return visit to see his
old friend Geordie.)
BEST
SERIES FINALE
‘A Million Little Things’ – “One Big Thing”
I’m not crying. You’re crying.
BEST FINAL SEASON
‘Endeavour’ – “Prelude”, “Uniform”, “Exeunt”
First off, I didn’t want to choose between ‘A Million Little Things’ and
‘Endeavour’. And the last three episodes
of ‘Endeavour’ did need to be taken as a whole.
So I played with the wording. As
a Crossoverist, this series has been a boon!
I was quite verklempt with that last episode.
O’Bservation – I can’t be certain
that ‘Ted Lasso’ has ended.
WORST
EPISODE
‘Ted Lasso’ – “Beard After Hours”
Didn’t think anything would tarnish my love for the show, didja? Basically this was a spotlight episode for
Coach Beard that feels off in a series which runs so smoothly as an ensemble
piece. It reminded me of that Scorsese
movie “After Hours” starring Griffin Dunne.
And I found that unsettling as well.
WORST
CLIFF-HANGER
‘Doctor Who’ – “The Star Beast’
While it had elements which need to be addressed before the Fourteenth
Incarnation shuffled off his regenerative coil, that whole bit about the coffee
was telegraphed from several light years away and felt like cheap humor… even
in a show allegedly for kids.
WORST
SEASON FINALE
‘Poker Face’
I hated to type that, since it’s such a fantastic show otherwise. But all they did was swap out one antagonist
for another and thus keep her on the run.
But the reason to hunt her down isn’t as strong as it was for Sterling
Frost Sr. It doesn’t even make sense. I understand why they want to keep her on the
run – new locations every week to accommodate the situations she finds herself
in. But if they worked at it, they could
have found something different. I hope
they do for Season Three.
BEST
PILOT
‘Poker Face’ – “Dead Man’s Hand”
BEST
SENSE OF ONE'S OWN HISTORY
Liberty Mutual insurance
It looks like the Powers That Be are threatening to replace the actor playing
Doug, and who do they pick? That actor
from a much earlier commercial who can’t remember his lines or say them
correctly.
BEST
BLEND OF TOOBWORLD AND REAL WORLD HISTORY
“The Pale Blue Eye”
Attention to detail from the author of the original novel even provides the
inspiration for the title of a book which Edgar Allan Poe would later write,
although never stated. (“Landor’s Cottage”)
BEST
BLEND OF TOOBWORLD AND REAL WORLD CELEBRITY
‘Ted Lasso’
What was interesting was that the celebrities who were showcased were athletes
and sports commentators, and most of them from the UK at that. It made for a refreshing change of pace.
BEST
EXAMPLE OF LIFE DURING PRIME-TIME
CURRENT
BinaxNow commercial
“Do we need the home pregnancy tests?”
CLASSIC
By Art Freen
In the first season when Barney had
a home life I liked his way of separating his ammo from his gun into different
cabinets as soon as he was inside, I've never seen a tv cop do that since.
Did we ever see the detectives carry
anything other than the little 38 special revolvers and the occasional shotgun
from the locker during the bank/jewelry robberies?
It’s remarkable that ‘Miami Vice’
premieres only a few years after BM ends and they are carrying autos, magnums,
even rocket launchers.
It’s such a difference between the
portrayal of police as someone you might know, to being comic book characters
who might as well be wearing capes.
BEST
REVIVED SERIES
‘Picard’
I took a year’s sabbatical after the first season, I disliked it so much. But as I was reading praises for the third
season, I figured I would pick it up again.
I’m glad I did. I don’t know if
there was a change-over in the writing team, or an influx of new viewpoints,
but kudos to making it feel fresh… even when old plot lines are resurrected.
BEST CLASSIC TV EXPERIENCE
‘Ghosts’ (UK) for an import and ‘Car 54,
Where Are You?’ as the domestic entry.
__________________________________________________________________________
BEST
CROSSOVER
1) ‘NCIS’
“Too Many Cooks”
2) ‘NCIS: HAWAI’I’
“Deep Fake”
3) ‘NCIS: LA’
‘A Long Time Coming’
Always love a three-way!
BEST
HOLIDAY CROSSOVER
Capital One commercial & ‘How The Grinch Stole Christmas’
BEST
TRIVIAL CROSSOVER
‘Slow Horses’ – ‘Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy’ & ‘Smiley’s People’
Near the end of Season One, David Cartwright (who was the former First Chair of
MI5) mentioned that Smiley was always coming back from redundancy. While that was never seen in the original Le
Carre novels nor in the TV mini-series, that doesn’t mean it couldn’t have
happened.
FIRST
CROSSOVER OF THE YEAR
See the Best Crossover
FIRST
THEORETICAL CROSSOVER OF THE YEAR
Progressive Insurance’s “TV Dad” & ‘Hi Honey, I’m Home’
This is what I figured - if the "real" father & son are
from Earth Prime-Time (Toobworld), then TV Dad could be from the TV dimension
from which the Nielsen Family came in "Hi Honey, I'm Home!"....
BEST CROSSOVER WITH A DIFFERENT TV
DIMENSION
‘Saturday Night Live’ – “State Farm” & “Liberty Mutual”
SKITLANDIA
‘Saturday Night Live’ & ‘Parks & Recreation’
When Aubrey Plaza was hosting, she appeared at the news desk during “Weekend
News Update”. But to make that even
better, former SNL cast member Amy Poehler joined her as Leslie Knope, the main
character on ‘Parks & Rec’!
BEST
CROSSOVER WITH A DIFFERENT MEDIUM
“Expose The Chao” (Kayak Commercial) with “Sonic the Hedgehog” video games and
comic books. (Personally, I don’t see
the resemblance, but maybe they change physically upon adulthood?)
BEST NON-CROSSOVER CROSSOVER
‘Ghosts’ with ‘Ghosts’ (UK)
One of the actors from ‘Ghosts’ (UK), who was also the show’s creator, appeared
in an episode as an actor in a TV show called ‘Dumb Deaths’. He was playing Pete, the American version of
the scoutmaster who had been shot through the neck with an arrow back in the
1990s. He did not play the same role in
the Britcom, however.
BEST
CROSSOVER IN A DIFFERENT FORMAT
‘Burke’s Law’ & ‘Doctor Who’ in TV21 comic story
____________________________________________________________
BEST
RECASTAWAY
FEMALE
From Mother Nature, Chiffon Margarine commercials
To Mother Nature, Nuvo H2O commercial
Hey, she’s a demi-goddess! She’s got the
power to do an extreme makeover.
MALE
‘Doctor Who’
The Fourteenth Incarnation into the Fifteenth Incarnation.
Well…. It was certainly different.
WORST
RECASTAWAY
‘Doctor Who’
The Thirteenth Incarnation into the Fourteenth
It’s not because I disapproved of the casting.
I love it… as long as Fourteen only looks like Ten. But the clothes regenerated as well. Maybe that happened once from the First to
the Second, but nobody remembers that.
BEST NEW
MALE CHARACTER
DOMESTIC
Alan Cornwall in the ‘Frasier’ reboot
IMPORT
Jackson Lamb, ‘Slow Horses’
Making Columbo look like Beau Brummel, Lamb was slovenly, disgusting, smelled,
but he could run circles around those in charge at MI5. And as played by Gary Oldman, it was a
character which once again proved what a chameleon Oldman is.
BEST NEW
FEMALE CHARACTER
No contest! Charlie Cale of ‘Poker
Face’.
Comedy
Joe “Poppy” Larossa, ‘Bupkis’
BEST NEW
SUPPORTING FEMALE CHARACTER
Drama
Brid Riordan, ‘Holding’
Played by Siobhán McSweeney with fragility, pathos,
and strength, it’s hard to believe that she’s also flint-hearted Sister Michael
in ‘Derry Girls’.
Comedy
Amy Davidson, ‘Bupkis’
BEST NEW
RECURRING MALE CHARACTER
DRAMA
Cliff LeGrand, ‘Poker Face’
COMEDY
“Uncle” Roy, ‘Bupkis’
BEST
CROSSOVER CHARACTER FROM ANOTHER MEDIUM
Art the Clown, From the “Terrifier”
franchise to ‘Bupkis’
BEST
INTRODUCTION OF A CHARACTER
FEMALE:
Car Ghost, ‘Ghosts’
BEST
HISTORICAL CHARACTER
Edgar Allan Poe, “The Pale Blue Eye”
Harry Melling WAS Poe. His portrayal
should be the standard by which all others should be measured.
BEST
HISTORICAL CHARACTER REVISION
Joseph Merrick the Elephant Man, ‘Year of the Rabbit’
“Merrick don’t freak for free.”
BEST NEW
ALIEN CHARACTER
Beep The Meep, ‘Doctor Who’
(Voiced by the wonderful Miryam Margulies.
That’s all I have to say about the character.)
BEST NEW
CHILD CHARACTER
MALE
Young Pete Davidson, ‘Bupkis’
Played by Preston Brodrick
FEMALE
Phoebe, ‘Ted Lasso’
CHARACTER
MOST DESERVING TO BECOME A REGULAR
Rose Noble-Temple, ‘Doctor Who’ – “The Star Beast”
I hope she does make a come-back, still with a dash of her non-binary
Doctoe/Donna inherited genetics. But I
fear she will probably be a one-trick pony.
Still, Ruby Sunday just may be over-shadowed at first by Rose.
BEST NEW
COMMERCIAL CHARACTER
TVDAD in the Progressive Insurance blipverts.
BEST NEW ANIMATED CHARACTER
Spot 73 ‘Picard’
Certainly didn’t hurt to have the interactive computer program for it be voiced
by Patton Oswalt.
BEST
LEAGUE OF THEMSELVES APPEARANCE(S)
OVERALL
‘Bupkis’
As it’s a “heightened, but fictionalized” version of Pete Davidson’s life, a
lot of his celebrity friends show up.
Some real, some imaginary. And
then there’s Ray Romano.
REAL – Colson Baker, JJ Abrams,
Sebastian Stan, Jon Stewart, Former Veep Al Gore, Paul Walter Hauser, John
Mulaney
IMAGINARY – Eli Manning, Cam’ron,
Jadakiss,
BOTH – Ray Romano
COMEDY
Tara Reid, ‘Ghosts’ (“Trevor’s Body”)
BEST
LEAGUE OF THEMSELVES APPEARANCE(S) IN A COMMERCIAL
Snoop Dogg, Martha Stewart, Willie Nelson for BIC Lighters
BEST
LEAGUE OF THEMSELVES APPEARANCE IN THE TOONIVERSE
Tariq “Black Thought” Trotter (with
Peppa Pig), ‘Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon’
BEST
LEAGUE OF THEMSELVES CROSSOVER
John Mulaney, “Baby J” & ‘Bupkis’
BEST
CHARACTER RETURN
Drama:
The Toymaker, ‘Doctor Who’
Sitcom:
As a Regular - Dan Fielding, ‘Night Court’
As a Guest Star - Dr. Lilith Sternin, ‘Frasier’
BEST CHARACTER RETURN IN A COMMERCIAL
Liberty Mutual
The actor who couldn’t speak properly from a previous Liberty Mutual
commercial. It looked like they were
going to replace Doug in the long-running series of commercials featuring Limu
the Emu (which the actor referred to as a “beebu”.)
WORST CHARACTER RETURNS ONLINE
Walter White and Jesse Pinkman of ‘Breaking Bad’ in an air-popped crisps
commercial.
BEST NEW
ALIENS
The Chao, “Expose The Chao” (Kayak commercial)
From AuralCrave: What is a Chao? It’s a fictional creature belonging to the
Sonic the Hedgehog series. It looks different from the classic appearance they
have in the video game (you can refer to their page on Wikipedia), but it’s also true that there are different species of
Chao. And after all, wouldn’t this be the first time that they appear in the
real world?
So not only are they a cool visual, but they serve as a crossover as well.
BEST NEW
FEMALE VILLAIN
TIE – Irene Smothers & Joyce Harris, ‘Poker Face’ (‘Time Of The Monkey’)
No way to rate them separately since they worked as a team. They were chilling in their ruthlessness.
BEST EXIT
FOR A CHARACTER
TOOBWORLD
Javier “Gary” Mendez Jr., ‘A Million
Little Things’ (“One Big Thing”)
This transcended just his death; it was about the impact we all have on the
lives of others, and despite how it leaves a hole yet everybody knows that they
will all be okay.
BEST
DEATH SCENE
NEW:
Sterling Frost, Jr., ‘Poker Face’
Usually this means most deserving to die and Adrian Brody’s casino boss
deserved to go splat!
OLDER:
Lucian Connelly, ‘Longmire’
In this case, it was sad, moving, exciting and capped off the next episode with
an elegiac musical bed.
SADDEST
DEATH SCENE[S]
TIE - Augustus & Mathilde Landor, “The Pale Blue Eye”
Father and daughter died at different points in the movie and Landor’s death is
only assumed. But the pain and grief
which brought them both to that point must have been overbearing.
WORST
(GRISLIEST) DEATH
Cadet Randolph Ballinger, “The Pale Blue Eye”
Hung, with his heart cut out and his balls cut off? Yeah, I guess that qualifies as “grisly.”
MOST SURPRISING DEATH SCENE
Maria Hill, ‘Secret Invasion’
As Nick Fury’s right-hand ma-# woma-# bleep it.
Nick Fury’s partner, Hill had been a strong, dependable team player in
the MCU for over a decade, she appeared in at least seven of the movies as well
as TV shows (some in the Tooniverse) and a video game. But I can’t say “And now
she’s gone” because there is the Multiverse in which any number of Maria Hills
could return. In the meantime, her death
in the episode of ‘Secret Invasion’ showed that the stakes are high in the
battle for the Earth.
FIRST TV
CHARACTER TO DIE
Professor Dale Harding, ‘NCIS’ – “Too Many Cooks”
Robert Picardo was brought in as the impetus to gather many of the characters
from the three shows together. He didn’t
even make it past the opening credits before he committed suicide to save
himself from being tortured. Picardo was
a good choice for the role, able to play someone who would not be suspected of
having a rogue past, but also because he had a recognizable presence for the
audience, giving his character an instant heft.
(There may have been a few from earlier in the year, but I can’t see
everything.)
BEST NEW CHARACTER NAME
Augustus Landor, “The Pale Blue Eye”
I’m choosing this one early because it was a great nod to two stories Poe would
write in his future. Without beating us
over the head with it, the events of this movie was probably the inspiration
for it. (Another name may come along
later which I like better, but this will still find a place in these awards,
somewhere.)
______________________________
BEST LINE
“If You Don’t Care About Trans Kids, Then You
Don’t Care About Kids’ Lives.” – Molly Kearney, ‘Saturday Night Live’
(4/15/23)
BEST USE
OF AN HISTORICAL QUOTE
Rilke:
"Our deepest fears are like dragons guarding our deepest treasures".
(‘Ted Lasso’)
BEST
EXCHANGE OF DIALOGUE
Maggie: You won.
Gary: WE won.
(‘A Million Little Things’ finale, “One Big Thing”)
BEST
SPEECH/MONOLOGUE
“It's funny, cos I wonder where the
TARDIS goes at random. Maybe it lands on some outcrop by the sea. And
there's a tribe and they worship it for 100 years. Then they grow up
and try to burn it. Then they get wise. They preserve it. Then they
build a city all around it... till the TARDIS is just a tiny little
dot, surrounded by skyscrapers and monorails. Time passes and the
city falls. It all gets swept away. And there's the TARDIS... still
on its outcrop... by the sea. She's the only thing I've got left.” –
the Doctor
(‘Doctor Who’ – “Wild Blue Yonder”
BEST ZONK EXPLANATION
“The Fletchers” from ‘Poker Face’ (“Time Of The Monkey”)
“The Fletchers” were three old ladies in the Mossy Oaks retirement community
who monopolized the center’s TV to watch murder investigation shows. It was a nickname reference to Jessica
Fletcher, the main character of ‘Murder, She Wrote’. It’s not a Zonk, because they never mention
her as a TV character nor do they mention the TV series. And because she was a best-selling author,
she would be well-known enough to have a weird little fan club like these
ladies named after her.
BEST ZONK
The ‘Benson’ theme song as heard in ‘Poker Face’ (“Death By Metal”)
We even got to see the title of the show from the opening credits. That would have been enough, but the theme
song played a key role in the plot. What
makes a Zonk the best is that an explanation can be found to neutralize
it. In this case, we fall back on the
old alibi that eventually, everybody in Toobworld will have a TV show about
them. Benson Dubois would be a good
candidate for a series – a butler who rose to be Chief of Staff for a governor
and eventually ran against him for the position.
BEST NEW
COINED WORD
“Ughstipation” – from a MiraLax commercial
HONORARY MENTION
“Fenslaw
Coliss
Brafe
Gilvane
Stond
Ratico
Vandeen
Blinss
Sensill
[One] – Translated by the TARDIS
Tacsladia”
From ‘Doctor Who’ – “The Wild Blue Yonder”
A countdown from Ten to Zero in an unknown alien language
BEST
THEME SONG
TV SERIES:
‘Ted Lasso’
WORST SERIES SOUNDTRACK
‘1899’
Discordant, jarring, and does not endear me to continue watching the series.
BEST
MUSICAL MOMENT
‘Longmire’ – “No Greater Character Endorsement”
Warren Zevon’s “Back In The High Life Again”
It made for a great send-off for a great character….
BEST
DREAM SEQUENCE
‘Bupkis’ – “Show Me The Way To Go Home”
BEST IN-JOKE
The number “1013” showed up several times in the one season wonder ‘1899’, one
of which was the ocean liner cabin designation used by Daniel Solace. It refers to Chris Carter’s production
company for ‘The X-Files’.
BEST NEW
TOOBWORLD LOCATION
World
Duneen, Ireland from ‘Holding’
Signed up for Acorn TV back in November.
This came out in 2022, so I’m not too late with this choice. It feeds my love of a very specialized genre
– quirky small towns.
BEST
FIGHT SCENE
Charlie Cale vs. Irene Smothers & Joyce Harris in ‘Poker Face’ – “Time Of
The Monkey”
This was brutal and funny and edge of the seat excitement.
BEST NEW
FICTIONAL BOOK
“The Equinox” series by Greg Alban, ‘Shakespeare & Hathaway’ (“Die We
Must”)
BEST NEW
FICTIONAL TV SHOW
‘Jolly For Short’ as seen in ‘Endeavour’ –
“Uniform”
We got to see a lot of scenes of this “ATV” series nearing its own finale in
the early 1970s. Many of them served up
meta-commentary about ‘Endeavour’ itself, but also was reminiscent of ‘Dixon of
Dock Green’ and a little of ‘Maigret’ as well.
It certainly helped to have Kevin R. McNally playing the lead character
DCI Jolyon Jolliphant.
‘Spooky & The Cop’ mentioned in ‘Poker Face’ – ‘Exit Stage Death’
BEST NEW
FICTIONAL PLAY
“The Ghosts Of Pensacola” – ‘Poker Face’ – ‘Exit Stage Death’
But this episode had others, like the hip-hop version of Ben Franklin’s life,
“Frankly Franklin”
BEST
ADAPTATION FROM ANOTHER UNIVERSE (aka MEDIUM)
MOVIE to
TV
‘True Lies’
BOOK to
TV
“The Pale Blue Eye” by Louis Bayard and adapted by Scott Cooper
-------------------------------------------------------------------
BEST
SERIES MARATHON
‘Car 54, Where Are You?’
BIGGEST
DISAPPOINTMENT IN A SHOW
The 3-Way NCIS Crossover
I realize there are only three NCIS shows on CBS currently. But it would have been nice to see somebody
come back to D.C. for the retirement party from ‘NCIS: New Orleans’ and ‘NCIS:
Cyber’ and maybe even from ‘JAG’ as well.
BEST
CRITIQUE BY A SHOW’S CAST
‘1899’
The cast gathered in costume to offer their united opinion on the Netflix
decision to cancel the series.
WORST
ANALYSIS BY AN ONLINE COMMENTER
By Jack Seale, The Guardian
“Before the action starts there is the unusual
sight of Tennant and Tate taking turns to address the camera in character with
a plot refresher for the benefit of young, forgetful or US viewers.”
Bleep you, Seale. But you know
what? I figure you must have had a bad
day at the dentist before writing that review.
That’s probably why you don’t smile in your pictures. All of you over there have nothing but bad
days at the dentist. (See? I can malign a nation’s people with a
generalization too.)
BEST “WISH-CRAFT”
With all this bringing back old
shows, they should bring back “Happy Days”. All the gang have left, but Fonzie
is still there. He's 80 and still walking around in his leather jacket with his
thumbs up, saying "Heeeeey " to girls 60 years younger. He still
hangs about the toilets at Arnold's, but it's a McDonald's now. Potsie will
guest once in a while ,but the running joke will be that everyone thinks he is
Will Riker from ‘Star Trek: The Next Generation’ (except Fonzie, who has never
watched it).
- Richard Jenkinson
BEST
TELEVISIOLOGICAL ANALYSIS
From John:
It’s a question that has taxed fans for decades: did
Lieutenant Columbo have only one eye like his alter ego Peter Falk? Let’s weigh
up the evidence…
Here are some random thoughts
related to his one eye.
He seemed to be given a great deal
of leeway within the LAPD (possible dispensation based on his skills?) and this,
besides his apparent absent mind, maybe one of the reasons some but not all of
his colleagues (mostly other detectives and senior officers) did not seem to
think much of him. This may also explain why he never was promoted beyond
Lieutenant.
Missing an eye, his many apparent Phobias and fears, for the
most part not carrying a fire arm, driving a personal vehicle on the job, not
following dress or grooming codes, etc., these all seem to be reasons for
removal from or maybe placed on desk duty on the LAPD unless he was given
special consideration.
HONORARY
MENTIONS
Brad Fillipone:
I have often wondered about the
detectives who get assigned to the 12th, but then only stay for a few episodes
without ever getting mentioned again.
The best-known of these is Wentworth
played by Linda Lavin. In reality, of course, Linda left to star in her own
series which explains her departure in real life, but not on the show.
There was Maria Battista who lasted
two episodes. Roslyn Licori who lasted three episodes.
And then there was Dorsey, who after
his initial false assumptions against the rest of the squad, actually seemed to
fit in over the next two episodes. And then suddenly he was gone as well.
On my current watching of the
series, I was curious to see if their names appeared lower on the blackboard,
indicating they were on another shift, but they were nowhere to be seen. I suppose
the answer is that they were transferred again, but it would have been nice to
have at least one mention of them.
Lee Spilberg
The
real-world explanation was generally that Danny Arnold was deciding whether a
new character might fit. As the years went on, the squad got smaller, and they
tried filling it up a little more. He was slow about offering Ms. Lavin a
regular contract, and then as you said, she was offered her own series.
According to Otto Bruno’s very fine history of the show, everyone liked June
Gable as Batista, but Danny Arnold had hired her thinking she was actually
Latina. When he found out she wasn’t, he was uncomfortable having that
juxtaposition on an ongoing basis, so she left. I guess the others just didn’t
fit Arnold’s idea of the squad room dynamic. (Both Mari Gorman and Paul Lieber,
like Steve Landesberg and Ron Carey had appeared as guests before their
detective tryouts.) In terms of the in-universe explanation, I think the
chalkboard actually does show some of their names after they left. Wentworth
certainly appears on the board in episodes where she isn’t present. As for
mentions, I agree it would be nice, but if Chano didn’t get one after two
years, I don’t think there was much hope for the shorter-lived regulars…
Sorry it took so long to post these....
