TOOBWORLD'S FIRST TIMELINE: BEHIND HAZEL EYES

Despite the protestations of the First Incarnation of the Doctor, the entire timeline of Earth Prime-Time was rewritten by Helen Cutter by her interference during a primeval age in the history of the planet.  It didn't create a divergent dimension; it was completely wiped out by her meddling.  A human was able to achieve something cataclysmic which even a Gallifreyan Time Lord like the Monk was never able to do - she changed History.

Helen Cutter.  Remember that name.  Not that there'll be a quiz later.....

There will be more about Mrs. Cutter in June, but for now, here are the basics - with the revision of the timeline, some TV characters were wiped out of existence, others created by the change.  One of the major revisions is that the President of the United States in the early 1970s, Henry Talbot McNeil, vanished to be replaced by the line of succession we know in our own world.  What had once been the administration for McNeil became the administrations of Nixon and Ford.

There was another example from the politics of "Telemerica", but on the gubernatorial level.....

'HAZEL'

"LUNCHEON WITH THE GOVERNOR"

Lawyer George Baxter and his family lived in California in a house that was built by that known "architectural plagiarist" Frank Reich.  (The Baxter house had the exact same design as the home of Russell Lawrence which he shared with his teenaged daughter Francis... better known as 'Gidget'.)

In September of 1964, George Baxter was to host the state governor for a luncheon.  On the suggestion of his maid, Hazel Burke, Mr. B invited the governor and his wife and his entourage to come to his home for a luncheon catered by Hazel.  

And of course, because of the involvement of Hazel, problems arose and hilarity ensued.

So September of 1964.....  If you bothered to rush to Wikipedia, you might think that the governor was Edward G. Brown (1905 - 1996), whose son Jerry is the current governor of California... again.

And you would be wrong.

In Toobworld, the California governor at that time was the Honorable Willard J. McGuire.  He was married to Sarah, whom he met at a New York nightclub during the 1950s.  (Based on his age at that time, Sarah may have been his second wife after he became a widower.)

Governor and Mrs. McGuire with the Baxters

Governor McGuire more than likely covered the term served by Brown in the real world, from 1959 to 1967.  (More than likely he was replaced by Ronald Reagan just as Brown was.  In a 1971 episode of 'Here's Lucy', a state employee at the unemployment office proved to be a serlinguist and addressed Governor Reagan through the Fourth Wall.  "Hey, Ronnie!  I quit!  I'm going back into show business!  Don't you wish you were?")

By the time of this 'Hazel' episode, Governor McGuire was already looking ahead to the 1966 election, exhorting those who had gathered outside the Baxter house to remember his name (rather than his opponent Arnold Wilberforce) when the election rolled around just over two years away.

But then Helen Cutter bleeped things up and caused the timeline to be rewritten so that Edward "Pat" Brown was the governor just as he was in the real world.  

And what exactly was Pat Brown doing in the first timeline for Toobworld around that time?

'THE BOLD ONES'

"THE STRANGE SECRET OF YERMO HILL"

A serviceman is found intoxicated in the apartment of a young woman who appears to have been strangled to death. The young man remembers nothing about how she died, but there appears to be no possible way for anyone else to have gotten out of the apartment. Brian locates an acquaintance of hers who brags that he can provide an answer, but refuses to tell him any more.

In this episode, Edward G. Brown is listed as "Judge".  It could be, and I'm going to stick by this, that Brown was playing himself and that the episode was playing out in the original Toobworld timeline where he was a California jurist.  

After the new timeline began, that judge was probably somebody else entirely; we just never got to see it play out again.  Meanwhile, former Governor "Pat" Brown's televersion appeared as himself on the Toobworld incarnations of shows like 'Tonight', 'Meet The Press', 'What's My Line?', and 'The Merv Griffin Show'.  

And that's all I have to say about that.....

OTHER SHOWS CITED:

'Gidget'

'The Mary Tyler Moore Show'

'General Electric Theatre'

'Primeval'

'Doctor Who'

'Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea'

DOUBLE VISION - A DOUBLE DOSE OF DORSEY

"Barney Miller" 

Detective Sgt. Eric Dorsey

- Dorsey (1980) 

- Agent Orange (1980)
- Call Girl (1980)

After Detective Fish retired and Sgt. Yemana passed away, several new detectives worked for awhile at the 12th Precinct, but none of them really clicked.  For three episodes, Detective Sgt. Eric Dorsey was assigned to the Ol' One-Two, but then just as it seemed he was fitting in with the idiosyncrasies of the squad room, apparently he was transferred out, never to be seen there again down in the Village.

Dorsey didn't get off to a good start with his fellow detectives on his first day - he assumed they were all on the take and had no problem with telling them so (with no intention of getting his share.)  Eventually he realized that the other cops were on the up and up.

HIs last case - as far as seen by the audience of the Trueniverse - involved an underage call girl named Rhonda Halleck.  It looked as though the manager of the youth home where she was staying, Malcolm Gower, was sending the girls out on call.  But Rhonda protected him, taking full responsibility for her actions.  This meant she was being sent away to a detention hall and Gower was in the clear.

At first antagonistic with Sgt. Dorsey, Rhonda eventually established a rapport with him.  Once her incarceration was over, they even made plans to hang out together and play coin-operated video games.

And that was the last time we saw either of them.

Some people in the Trueniverse audience may have thought they saw him again though......

St. Elsewhere
Arrested Suspect
- Samuels and the Kid (1982)

Silver Spoons
Pool Shark
- Edward's Big Adventure (1987)

Dexter
Bartender
- Our Father (2008) 

Eric Dorsey had a twin brother, and in keeping with Toobworld tradition, he was the Evil Twin.  They were identical twins save for the fact that his hair was still the chestnut brown while Eric's was quickly turning gray.

 

Eric's brother had a scrape withthe law in Boston but was usually in the New York area where the Dorseys came from.  Back in the mid-1980s, he made his money as a pool hustler in Freeport.

Eventually his life of crime caught up to him and he was locked up for a prison sentence of less than 20 years.  When he got out, he moved south to Miami where he got a job as a bartender.  

The Practice
District Attorney
- Swearing In (1998)

Judging Amy
Mr. Conrad's Attorney
- The Unbearable Lightness of Being Family (2001)

As for Eric, Dorsey was a Zen-like student of Life with a passion to stay on the straight and narrow.  I think he may have reconsidered his career options after leaving the 12th Precinct and so decided to go to law school.  Eighteen years later, he was an assistant District Attorney in Boston.  It could be that sixteen years earlier he was instrumental in not only turning his brother in but also assisted in the prosecution, which garnered him the inside track to getting elected as the District Attorney.

But having achieved that goal, Dorsey no longer had his heart in it.  So he resigned the position and moved south to Hartford, Connecticut, where he set up his shingle to practice law.  (One of his clients was a Mr. Conrad.)

I also think that once Rhonda was a legal adult, she reconnected with Eric and they became lovers, eventually getting married, kind of like Rogo and Linda in "The Poseidon Adventure".  It's the romantic in me.  

It's all conjecture, but it works for me!

BCnU!

WHO IN SAM HILL IS SAM BENEDICT?

"Are there any other questions Sam Benedict, your lawyer, would like to ask me?"

Joey Barnes

'The Joey Bishop Show'

'Sam Benedict' was a San Francisco lawyer described by Wikipedia as "flamboyant", which I take to mean that he was very colorful and most likely good for press when it came to publicizing his cases.  That's how Joey Barnes might have heard of him, reading about him in the Chronicle or the Ledger.  

But he could also have been a guest on Joey's show, perhaps in connection to either a case Sam had argued (most likely successfully) or perhaps to give insight on another case that was captivating the nation's attention at the time.  

A possible theory - 'The Fugitive' storyline begins in 1963, several months after 'Sam Benedict' ended.  However, it begins with the escape of Dr. Richard Kimble; there was the whole court case before that.  So it could be that there was some notoriety to that case which merited a closer look and that's what interested Joey in booking Sam Benedict to be a guest on his late night talk show.  Like I said, Sam Benedict was flamboyant, so he would have made good television....

At least it makes for a pleasant change from all of the 'Perry Mason' references....

BCnU!

NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH SAMUEL L. BRONKOWITZ'S "CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS IN TROUBLE"

Because my parochial grade school is closing down this summer after 102 years in operation, I thought I'd take a look at a TV show about another Catholic grade school in the 1960s.

From Wikipedia:

'State of Grace' is an American comedy-drama series that ran for two seasons on the Fox Family channel during 2001 and 2002.

The show is centered on two 12-year-old girls from very different backgrounds, Hannah and Grace, who are best friends. Hannah is from a middle class Jewish family and lives with her parents, her grandmother, and her uncle. Her parents are the owners of a furniture factory in the fictitious town of Ashmore, North Carolina, where they have recently moved to from Chicago. Grace is from a wealthy Catholic family and lives with her mother, a socialite. Typically, they are depicted as more intelligent, thoughtful, funny, and rebellious than other children of their age. Set in 1965, the show was compared by some to another look-back-through-the-years show, The Wonder Years. Fred Savage, the star of that hit ABC series, even appeared in the series' final episode.

The theme song is the original version of "Do You Believe in Magic" by The Lovin' Spoonful. The show was taped at Ren-Mar Studios stage 4.

BCnU!

SATURDAY COMICS - DON & GOODY RICKLES

We're finishing off our week-long salute to the late Don Rickles with a look at how he was portrayed in an alternate fictional universe - the world of Comic Books......

By the way, if you thought I was going to put these pages into some kind of linear order, then you really are a bunch of hockey pucks!

BCnU!

And good night and may God bless, Mr. Rickles.....

RICKLES AND THE LEAGUE OF THEMSELVES IN THE TVXOHOF

This past Friday, I inducted Don Rickles into the Television Crossover Hall of Fame in memory of his passing.  And now that he's in the Hall, he's in good company with other members of the League Of Themselves......

Here are just a few:

Here's Don on the 'Tonight' show, one of those times when he was hosting.  His guests are Bing Crosby and Bob Hope.  Bob was inducted as the Christmas entry in what I call the "Proto-Hall", before the TVXOHOF actually existed.  Bing isn't a member, but  I have a feeling that he does qualify, especially with any references to him without actually appearing.

Don as a guest on 'Tonight' with Frank Sinatra and host Johnny Carson.  Old Blue Eyes was added to the Hall of Fame on the 100th anniversary of his birth in 2015.  A year after his death, Carson was "honored" with his induction in January of 2007.

Don is seen here with Sammy Davis, Jr., who was inducted in February of 2001 to mark Black History Month for that year.  

I chose March of 2011 to induct Joan Rivers as a tip of the hat to her directorial effort "Rabbit Test".  ("Rabbit Test"... "March Hare"....  I regret nothing!)

Bob Costas was inducted with Jim McKay as Toobworld Central's salute to the Olympics in the year of Duos, March 2002.

Walter Cronkite did more than just the news; he even hosted a game show.  The Most Trusted Man In America was inducted in November of 2001.

Don Rickles doing a comedy sketch with fellow TVXOHOF members Dean Martin (December 2016) and Roy Rogers (inducted with his wife Dale Evans in May of 2002).

Howard Cosell isn't a member yet, but the day will come.  Milton Berle was inducted in May of 2003.

Betty White was inducted on the occasion of her birthday in 2008; I think it was her 85th?  But the rate she's going, I could have waited until the 95th, maybe even the 100th!

Don Rickles looks like he's ready to take a snooze with "Cousin" Conan.  Conan O'Brien's cartoon version was inducted on my birthday last year.

Danny Thomas was the first new member of last year's theme for the League of Themselves.

Phyllis Diller was also inducted right after she passed away (2012)

Aside from the late night talk shows, I think Dean Martin's Comedy Roasts was his best venue for his barbs.

Don Rickles guesting on 'Tonight' with Johnny's successor, Jay Leno.  Leno was NBC's biggest cheerleader which helped him expand his credentials for the TVXOHOF.  (January, 2010)

John Stamos was a special Honors entry into the Hall.  And all because of one Oikos commercial. (March, 2014)

Steve Lawrence was inducted along with his late wife Eydie Gorme, days after her passing.  (2013)

Tony Bennett was inducted last year on the occasion of his 90th birthday. 

In a way, Garner is in the Hall twice.  Once as Bret Maverick, but as himself after he died.  (2014)

If Joey does get into the Hall, it will be as his character of Joey Barnes who had plenty of celebrities on his late night talk show as themselves.  But Jack Benny was also a "Proto-Hall" member.  He's perhaps the one "televersion" who had a well-developed fictional persona in Toobworld.

Don doing what he does best - sitting on the dais of a Dean Martin Comedy Roast, this time for Lucille Ball.  Lucy was inducted as herself in April of 2000, while her three most famous fictional incarnations preceded her in the first three months of that year.

George Burns was one of the seminal inductees into the "Proto-Hall".  As a matter of fact, he was the first one inducted.

I think it will take a while longer for people to feel the full loss of seeing "Mr. Warmth" on late night.  But he is immortalized at his venomous best for future generations to enjoy......

BCnU!