I SECOND THAT STOP-MOTION!

It's time to pay the bills......

Since we're being inundated with the holiday specials, here's a classic blipvert that probably took place somewhere just south of the North Pole... in the same TV dimension where you would find "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer".

FANTASMAS NO ELEVADOR

This has been making the rounds on Facebook. It's from a Brazilian prank show a la 'Candid Camera'.

I first learned of it from Chuck McCann, who posted it but didn't like it because somebody could have had a heart attack and maybe even died.

Me? I'm one of those dark-hearted folks who believes that as long as it's not happening to me, it's funny.....

JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE TOONIVERSE (1967)

JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE TOONIVERSE (1977)

AS SEEN ON TV: PROFESSOR LIDENBROOK

PROFESSOR OTTO LIDENBROOK

AS SEEN IN:

'Journey To The Center Of The Earth'

CREATED BY:

Jules Verne

VOICED BY:

Ron Haddrick

TV DIMENSION:

The Tooniverse

From Wikipedia:

"A Journey to the Centre of the Earth" (French: "Voyage au centre de la Terre", also translated under the titles "Journey to the Centre of the Earth" and "A Journey to the Interior of the Earth") is a classic 1864 science fiction novel by Jules Verne. The story involves a German professor (Otto Lidenbrock in the original French, Professor Von Hardwigg in the most common English translation) who believes there are volcanic tubes going toward the centre of the Earth. He, his nephew Axel (Harry), and their guide Hans descend into an extinct Icelandic volcano, encountering many adventures, including prehistoric animals and natural hazards, before eventually coming to the surface again in southern Italy.

The story begins in May 1863, the Lidenbrock house in Hamburg, with Professor Lidenbrock rushing home to peruse his latest purchase, an original runic manuscript of an Icelandic saga written by Snorri Sturluson ("Heimskringla"; the chronicle of the Norwegian kings who ruled over Iceland). While looking through the book, Lidenbrock and his nephew Axel find a coded note written in runic script. (This is a first indication of Verne's love for cryptology. Coded, cryptic or incomplete messages as a plot device will continue to appear in many of his works and in each case Verne goes a long way to explain not only the code used but also the mechanisms used to retrieve the original text.) Lidenbrock and Axel translate the runic characters into Latin letters, revealing a message written in a seemingly bizarre code. Lidenbrock attempts a decipherment, deducing the message to be a kind of transposition cipher; but his results are as meaningless as the original.

Professor Lidenbrock decides to lock everyone in the house and force himself and the others (Axel, and the maid, Martha) to go without food until he cracks the code. Axel discovers the answer when fanning himself with the deciphered text: Lidenbrock's decipherment was correct, and only needs to be read backwards to reveal sentences written in rough Latin. Axel decides to keep the secret hidden from Professor Lidenbrock, afraid of what the Professor might do with the knowledge, but after two days without food he cannot stand the hunger and reveals the secret to his uncle. Lidenbrock translates the note, which is revealed to be a medieval note written by the (fictional) Icelandic alchemist Arne Saknussemm, who claims to have discovered a passage to the centre of the Earth via Snæfell in Iceland. In what Axel calls bad Latin, the deciphered message reads:

"Descend, bold traveler, into the crater of the jökull of Snæfell, which the shadow of Scartaris touches (lit: tastes) before the Kalends of July, and you will attain the centre of the earth. I did it. Arne Saknussemm ”

Professor Lidenbrock is a man of astonishing impatience, and departs for Iceland immediately, taking his reluctant nephew with him. Axel, who, in comparison, is cowardly and anti-adventurous, repeatedly tries to reason with him, explaining his fears of descending into a volcano and putting forward various scientific theories as to why the journey is impossible, but Professor Lidenbrock repeatedly keeps himself blinded against Axel's point of view. After a rapid journey via Lübeck and Copenhagen, they arrive in Reykjavík, where the two procure the services of Hans Bjelke (a Danish-speaking Icelander eiderdown hunter) as their guide, and travel overland to the base of the volcano. In late June they reach the volcano, which has three craters.

According to Saknussemm's message, the passage to the centre of the Earth is through the one crater that is touched by the shadow of a nearby mountain peak at noon. However, the text also states that this is only true during the last days of June. During the next few days, with July rapidly approaching, the weather is too cloudy for any shadows. Axel silently rejoices, hoping this will force his uncle – who has repeatedly tried to impart courage to him only to succeed in making him even more cowardly still – to give up the project and return home. Alas for Axel, however, on the last day, the sun comes out and the mountain peak shows the correct crater to take. After descending into this crater, the three travelers set off into the bowels of the Earth, encountering many strange phenomena and great dangers.

O'BSERVATIONS:

There was an animated series in 1967 which would be the Tooniverse sequel to the 1977 version, even though it aired first by a decade.

Professor Oliver Lindenbrook (as voiced by Ted Knight) is a "modern-day" (1970s) descendent of Otto Lidenbrook, whose family changed their name when they came to America.

From the 1967 show's opening narration:

"Long ago, a lone explorer, named Arnie Saknussen, made a fantastic descent to the fabled lost kingdom of Atlantis at the Earth's core. After many centuries, his trail was discovered...first by me, Professor Oliver Lindenbrook, my niece, Cindy, student Alec McEwen, our guide, Lars, and his duck, Gertrude. But we were not alone. The evil Count Saknussen, last descendant of the once noble Saknussen family, had followed us...to claim the center of the Earth for his power-mad schemes. He ordered his brute-like servant, Torg, to destroy our party. But the plan backfired, sealing the entrance forever. And so, for us, began a desperate race to the Earth's core...to learn the secret of the way back. This is the story of our new journey to the center of the Earth."

BCnU!

AS SEEN ON TV: CAGE TYLER

CAGE TYLER

AS SEEN IN:

'Further Tales Of The City'

CREATED BY:

Armistead Maupin

PORTRAYED BY:

John Robinson

TV DIMENSION:

Earth Prime-Time

From Wikipedia:

Cage Tyler, the movie star with whom Michael has a brief fling, is based on Rock Hudson, who was a friend and lover of Maupin's. In the novel, the character was not named, but was represented by underscores (e.g. ____ ____) wherever his name would have appeared.

From the San Francisco Chronicle:

In a scene shot later in the day, Mary Ann sends Michael off to an all-male Hollywood party hosted by Cage Tyler, a famous closeted actor whom Michael has met through a mutual friend.

"If I'm not back in three days, send in the (Royal) Canadian Mounted Police," Michael shouts to her.

"Just what you need: more men," Mary Ann teases him.

Watching this exchange, Maupin, co-writer on the miniseries (with James Lecesne), admits to getting "an eerie deja vu feeling." In the '70s, he attended parties given by Rock Hudson, on whom Cage is affectionately based. His name reflects the studly monikers, such as Rock, Tab and Troy, that Hollywood used to give actors. Michael — who as followers of "Tales" know is Maupin's alter ego — is destined to have a fling with Cage, much as Maupin says he had with Hudson. "It was just sex. It was playtime."

A FAILURE IN BED
His first time with Cage, Michael is a complete failure in bed. "This grew directly out of my own experience," Maupin says. "I was so thoroughly intimidated by being with Rock Hudson.

A gaffer (sic) rigged lights and diffusers for scenes to be shot on Macondray Lane, which author Armistead Maupin called Barbary Lane in "Tales of the City."

"Rock was so generous. He basically said, 'It's OK. It happens all the time.' Then he went downstairs, got a plate of lasagna for me and brought it back to bed." All of this makes it onto the show.

This character was chosen to mark World AIDS Day.....

BCnU!

"HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER" - THE END(?)

I've made my position known before about the final scene in 'How I Met Your Mother': After the death of his wife, Ted Mosby works through his grief by telling this long convoluted story to his kids.

But somebody else has an idea how it should end:

THE TELE-FOLKS DIRECTORY: NAMING NAMES

This is only how I feel, but I believe that no matter how well-written a tale of fantasy and how well-realized its world, it could fall apart if the author has a bad facility for the coining of names. (This is a topic I've been passionate about since reading Lin Carter's take on the subject.)

The world of Earth Prime-Time is a fantasy realm in teh sam way that Lankhmar and Middle-Earth are. (My two favorites!) And it is home to a world of fantastical people - witches, genies, Martians, time travelers, ghosts, warriors, princesses, talking horses, and Jerry Mathers as the Beaver.

So as a fantasy realm, Earth Prime-Time should have names to match.

Unfortunately, a lot of character names are drab, mundane names - but then most of the people of Toobworld are ordinary folk.

Still, names like Tim Taylor, Mary Richards, Lou Grant, Michael Scott....?

But there are those that are graced with a touch of brilliance - Napoleon Solo, Illya Kuryakin, Miguelito Quixote Loveless, Horatio Caine, Artemus Gordon, James Tiberius Kirk and Woodrow Tiberius Boyd.

My all-time favorite coined name from television has long been Pinky Likewise from an episode of 'Burke's Law'. And although it doesn't come close to disturbing Ms. Likewise's chosen spot, I've found a new name in classic TV that swings for the fences when it comes to its fantasy pedigree:

Pontifex Tundifer!

(He was an old man in San Francisco whose nephew plotted to kill him.)

Doesn't "Pontifex Tundifer" sound like the name of a wizard? (Coincidentally, the actor who played Pontifex - Vaughn Taylor - played a wizard, a "witch-man" of the Orson Scott Card "Seventh Son" variety, in an episode of 'The Twilight Zone'.)

That episode of 'Thriller' had a lot of other distinctive names - Miles Tundifer, Queenie De Lyte, Mr. Passasstory - but it would be hard to top Pontifex Tundifer!

SHOWS CITED:

• 'Home Improvement'
• 'The Mary Tyler Moore Show'
• 'Leave It To Beaver'
• 'Lou Grant'
• 'The Office'
• 'CSI: Miami'
• 'Cheers'
• 'Star Trek'
• 'The Man From U.N.C.L.E.'
• 'The Wild Wild West'
• 'Thriller' - "Cousin Tundifer"
• 'The Twilight Zone' - "Still Valley"
• 'Burke's Law' - "Who Killed Merlin The Great"

BCnU!

AS SEEN ON TV: TEAGUE THE WITCH-MAN

TEAGUE

AS SEEN IN:

'The Twilight Zone'

"Still Valley"

CREATED BY:

Manly Wade Wellman

("The Valley Was Still" - short story)

PORTRAYED BY:

Vaughn Taylor

TV DIMENSION:

Earth Prime-Time

From Wikipedia:

"Still Valley" is an episode of the American television anthology series 'The Twilight Zone'.

Set during the American Civil War, the episode opens with two Confederate soldiers. They have been assigned to scout on the Union army that is marching into the valley below. Sergeant Joseph Paradine hears the army approaching, but suddenly the sound stops. He decides to descend into the valley to see the cause for himself. His companion refuses to come.

When Paradine gets into town, he finds the army there, but all of them are motionless, as if frozen in time. He tries unsuccessfully to wake them. Finally he comes across an old man named Teague, who is unaffected by the strange phenomenon. Teague claims to be a "witchman" and says he used a magic spell to freeze the soldiers. Paradine does not believe him, so Teague casts the spell on Paradine, freezing him.

When Teague lifts the spell on Paradine, he brags that he could stop the entire army in this manner, ensuring the success of the Confederacy. Paradine asks why he doesn't, and Teague replies that he is dying. He gives his book of spells (entitled Witchcraft) to Paradine, encouraging him to use it, but when Paradine looks in it, he realizes that using this magic requires one to align himself with Satan.

Teague dies, and Paradine returns to camp to tell his superior about what happened. The superior doesn't believe him and encourages him to get some rest. When another scout returns with the same story, the superior realizes Paradine is telling the truth. Paradine relates the story about the old man, the spell book, and making a deal with the devil. The superior officer decides that the devil is the only one who can help them and encourages Paradine to read from the book.

In the original story the spell is broken when the book is burned.

This is a great example for the argument that Earth Prime-Time is a fantasy realm.  Wellman may have been the leading scribe in Americana fantasy....

BCnU!

SUPER SIX LIST: NOT FROM BOOK-WORLD

All this year, the "As Seen On TV" showcase has featured TV characters who originated in BookWorld. But there are certain characters who appear in those book-sourced TV shows who never appeared in the books. So they don't have the basic literary origin that their comrades share.

Here's a Super Six List of my favorites:

SUPER SIX LIST

TV CHARACTERS WHO CAN'T BE FOUND 

IN THEIR LITERARY SOURCE

1] COLONEL SHERMAN POTTER

When Maclean Stevenson wanted to leave 'M*A*S*H' again to try his luck at headlining his own show, the producers decided to kill off his character Colonel Henry Blake. Instead of recasting the role or bringing in a clone of Henry's, they decided to go in a different direction. They came up with a crusty, ornery Army career doctor who had been serving since the first World War.

2] PAUL DRAKE, JR.

From Wikipedia:

Paul Drake, Jr. is Paul Drake's son (also a private investigator), played by William Katt in nine of the 'Perry Mason' TV Movies.

Paul Drake, Jr. is the fictional son of Paul Drake, Erle Stanley Gardner's detective extraordinaire. With the death of William Hopper who played Paul Drake in the original television series, the producers of the new 'Perry Mason' movies decided to continue the name even though there is no evidence that Paul ever married, let alone had a son. William Katt was Raymond Burr's choice to play Paul Junior. and of course Barbara Hale agreed since he is her son.

3] JESSICA HAMBY

From the 'True Blood' wikia:

Jessica Hamby is a major character in the second, third, fourth, and fifth seasons of 'True Blood'. She initially appeared as a recurring character in the first season. She is played by starring cast member Deborah Ann Woll. Jessica (born 1991, turned 2008) is a young vampire and the progeny of Bill Compton. She was turned as decreed by the Magister, in reparation for Bill's murder of Longshadow, a fellow vampire.

Jessica does not appear in any of the books by Charlaine Harris which are the basis for the 'True Blood' TV series. Jessica is an entirely new character created by Alan Ball. She was used to showcase in detail what a newborn vampire is like. She seems to be the replacement for Bubba since his character is not allowed due to legal issues with the Presley estate.

Jessica is one of six original main characters who did not appear in any form in Charlaine Harris' books. The other five main characters not present in the books are Tommy Mickens, Jesus Velasquez, Salome Agrippa, Roman Zimojic and Nora Gainesborough.

4] DOCTOR JOHN POLIDORI

From Wikipedia:

The character of Dr Polidori, who did not appear in the original novel, was based on the character of Dr. Pretorius from Universal Pictures' "Bride of Frankenstein", but named after the real-life John Polidori, an acquaintance of author Mary Shelley who was part of the competition that produced her novel. Polidori's own contribution was the first modern vampire story "The Vampyre" (1819).

5] ROS

From the 'Game Of Thrones' wikia:
Ros does not appear in the books and is the first character created specifically for the show. However, some fans have speculated that her role is based on the "red-headed whore" who appears very briefly in the first novel. This is strengthened by the fact that the actress was originally announced as playing "red-headed whore" and that the character was given a name at George R.R. Martin's suggestion.

Loosely speaking, Ros does stand in for, or act as a condensation of, several different prostitute characters that existed in the books. For example, in the books Cersei does imprison a prostitute that she thinks is Tyrion's lover (although his actual lover is Shae), but it is a different character named Alayaya, the daughter of Chataya, the woman who owns the whorehouse. The entire subplot involving these prostitute characters was cut from the TV series, and Ros functionally assumes this role in the story.

Martin has stated that he intends to work the character into later books in the series, probably as a throwaway cameo just to tie her presence into both the series and books.

6] BRET MAVERICK

With my Super Six Lists, I usually throw a joker into the hand, so who better than the greatest gambler ever in Toobworld?

From Wikipedia:

The first broadcast episode of 'Maverick', "War of the Silver Kings", was based on C. B. Glasscock's "The War of the Copper Kings", which relates the real-life adventures of copper mine speculator F. Augustus Heinze, a copper king who ultimately went to Wall Street. Huggins recalls in his Archive of American Television interview that this Warners-owned property was selected by the studio as the first episode in order to cheat him out of creator residuals.

BCnU!