TVXOHOF 08/2018 - MISS KITTY

"Go see Miss Kitty

and she'll set you up with a nice hooker."

Chandler Bing

‘Friends’

For our annual TV Western Summer Showcase induction into the Television Crossover Hall of Fame for August, we’re turning to the most famous frontier woman of Toobworld:

MISS KITTY RUSSELL

For 19 years, Amanda Blake played Miss Kitty on ‘Gunsmoke’.  She was the owner of the bar & brothel known as the Long Branch Saloon. 

'GUNSMOKE'
425 Episodes

Kathleen Russell was born in New Orleans but was raised by Panacea Sykes after her birth mother died.  (Years later her father would visit Dodge City, hoping to entice her to return to the Big Easy.  And that foster mother, who was something of a wanton woman and who probably taught Kitty everything she needed to know about running a brothel, also visited her in Dodge.)

THE REAL BILL PENCE

Miss Kitty started out as part owner of the Long Branch Saloon, with the majority owner being Bill Pence (a Toobworld relative of current Vice President Mike Pence.)  She bought Pence out of his share of the saloon by beating him in a game of cards.  It’s pozz’ble, just pozz’ble, that she cheated Pence out of his share because she was a master card sharp.  But I think her pride would have held her to win it with honor.

ALIAS BILL PENCE
As you can see, he's not a three-eyed Venusian

Even though she now owned the property outright, Miss Kitty maintained the ruse that Pence was still involved by hiring a bartender to portray Pence for a time.  (This was to ensure that nobody would try to take advantage of her just because she was a woman by forcing her to sell the Long Branch.  In the Real World, however, the reason was that the role of Bill Pence was recast.  For that time in the wild, wild West, my splainin works better than plastic surgery or alien substitution.)

Miss Kitty finally got out of Dodge when she tired of US Marshal Matt Dillon’s refusal to “make her an honest woman”.  She sold off the saloon to Miz Hannah, a woman who had been transported back in Time from the 1970s by a Weeping Angel.  (Miz Hannah was actually Aggie Thompson who was passing herself off as Doris Ziffel when she was touched by the angel.)

"GUNSMOKE:
RETURN TO DODGE"
[TV Movie]

But Miss Kitty eventually did return to Dodge City when Matt Dillon came back to town because an old enemy was terrorizing the townsfolk in search of revenge against the retired lawman.  But apparently Matt still didn’t find it in him to marry her and I have this sad feeling she died not long after.

During those years while she was gone from Dodge City, Miss Kitty knew that enemies of Marshal Dillon might want to use her to set a trap for her former paramour.  So she used an alias in her new life:

'THE QUEST'
"DAY OF OUTRAGE"

From the IMDb:
To escape the vicious windstorm outside, Quentin and Morgan enter another kind of storm when they seek shelter in a bawdy ranch house owned by an aggressive woman.

She probably was inspired to choose "Miss Sally" because of an old desert hag named "Dirty Sally" who had visited Dodge City.

DIRTY SALLY FERGUS

As the most famous woman to be found in TV Westerns, Miss Kitty was iconic enough to be mentioned in a lot of TV shows.  But these are NOT Zonks.  (Zonks are discrepancies caused by the mention of TV shows in other shows which should be sharing the same TV dimension.) 

My splainin?  ‘Gunsmoke’ was an historical TV series based on actual events, like ‘Combat!’ and ‘Downton Abbey’.  So Miss Kitty was a known figure in American history.

Here are a selection of those pop culture references which I contend are verifications of Miss Kitty’s existence in Earth Prime-Time:

‘Psych’ had an episode set in the Wild West-themed tourist town, complete with a Miss Kitty. After the case is solved, the town's sheriff proposes to her, and Shawn is touched that she's agreeing to leave behind a life of sin until Gus reminds him that she isn't a real madam.

Dennis the Menace
Wilson's Second Childhood (1962)
While the neighborhood kids are playing cowboys and Indians, Mrs. Wilson calls her husband "Matt", and Mr. Wilson calls his wife "Miss Kitty".

Sanford and Son
The TV Addict (1976)
Fred says he's in love with Miss Kitty.

Night Court
Contempt of Courting (1986)
"Let's go, Ms. Kitty."
(Probably said by Court Bailiff Bull Shannon.)

The Larry Sanders Show
Hey Now (1992)
Larry tells Hank that he looks like Kitty from ‘Gunsmoke’

Nash Bridges
Skin Deep (1998)
A tattoo artist looks at Evan's old-time sheriff badge he bought and says he must be Miss Kitty. Though Kitty was not an officer of the law or deputized.

The descriptions are from the IMDb.

Kitty Russell is still remembered as ‘Gunsmoke’ continues to play on various retrovision networks and can be found in DVDs and even on YouTube.

Happy Heavenly Trails to you, Miss Kitty!