Sunday, June 6, 2010


Two years ago for the Birthday Honors list of the TV Crossover Hall of Fame, we inducted Archibald Beechcroft from 'The Twilight Zone' episode "The Mind And The Matter". According to the rules, a member of the Hall should have three different TV series, commercials, TV movies, or mini-series to their credit in order to be considered for inclusion. But Beechcroft wasn't even in the whole series of 'The Twilight Zone', just that one episode. But Beechcroft's eligibility was based on inference that for one day he was in other TV shows, all of them in fact (save for the period pieces like Westerns and futuristic sci-fi programs). In that episode Beechcroft turned everybody in Toobworld into a version of himself just by using the power of his mind. This included the characters in all of the TV shows that were taking place on that day (not just the ones being broadcast) as well as all of the TV characters from cancelled shows who would have been still alive in the TV Universe.

This year we have the same situation for our Birthday Honors candidate - the Gallfreyan Time Lord known only as the Master, from 'Doctor Who'. "The End Of Time" was the final story written for 'Doctor Who' by Russell T. (Thank you. Goodbye!) Davies and the last to feature David Tennant in his role as the 10th incarnation of the Doctor. At the end of part one, the Master used some alien doohickey to turn everybody in the world into a carbon copy of himself. But unlike Beechcroft's many clones, none of the multiple Masters kept their original identities. Even in thought, they were all still the Master.

The effect barely lasted that one day - Christmas of 2009 - but he was able to link to so many more TV shows than Beechcroft, considering the proliferation of cable output and the expansion of the world-wide market. (Not to mention the exponential growth of the global population since the early 1960's.)

Besides all of the "Master Race" populace we saw in that episode, the Master also became:

Beaver Cleaver

Ben 'Matlock'

Lt. 'Columbo'

Mary Richards

'The Manimal' - but only in his human form

Ronald McDonald

McDreamy & McSteamy

Ginger and Mary Ann

Sgt. Saunders and Colonel Klink

Batman and Robin, but not Superman - he died back in the early 1960's

Dr. Sam Beckett, as well as anybody he might have leapt into on Christmas day, 2009

The surviving members of 'The 4400'

Everybody at Crane, Poole, & Schmidt

Everybody living on 'Coronation Street' and 'Emmerdale Farm'

Everybody living in the towns of 'Eureka', 'Dallas', Llanview, Genoa City, and Hooterville

Maybe Sherlock Holmes, if the Royal Queen Bee jelly was still working its mojo on him

Every member of the casts in the 'Law & Order' and 'CSI' franchises, including the foreign adaptations

All of the 'Ugly Betty's from around the world (and all of the working drones in the international clones of 'The Office')

Since the real-time events of 'Lost' ended in 2007, Hurley and Ben both became the Master during their guardianship of the Island.


'Chuck' Bartowski would have become the Master, so for a time the Intersect was under his control.
All of the world's population became the Master, so that means people who played themselves on TV, like Jerry Seinfeld, Garry Shandling, Larry David, and Kirstie Alley, but in fictional settings, all became - You guessed it! - the Master. As seen in the episode, American anchorwoman Trinity Wells, who is black, and the soldiers in the Chinese army were transformed, so that means it didn't matter if you were of a different race. George Jefferson, Ed Chigliak, Divya Katdare, and even Lily - the baby daughter of Cameron Tucker and Mitchell Pritchard - would all have become the Master. As was the case with Beechcroft, characters like Big Pussy, Livia Drusilla, Captain Janeway, Jamie McCrimmon and Zoe Heriot, Bret Maverick, John Sheridan, Pinky Pinkham, Maid Marian, Nurse Chapel, John Locke, and Christopher Foyle would not have been affected because they were either already dead or not yet born.

Although many characters live on after the deaths of the actors who played them, there are those who should be considered dead in Toobworld, like Archie Bunker and Buddy Sorrell and Dorothy Zbornak. And therefore they weren't affected. But Gloria Stivic, Sally Rogers, and Blanche and Rose would all have become the Master.

(Speaking of Roses, I just wish we saw a few quick scenes in which certain former companions of the Doctor had been transformed into the Master - like Rose Tyler, Martha Jones, Donna Noble, Peri Brown, Tegan Jovanka, Ben Jackson, and Polly.)
In Bristol, England, a werewolf named George and a vampire named Mitchell would have been transformed into the Master, but not a ghost named Annie. I don't think any of the ghosts we know from TV series over the years would have been affected by that alien machine. Androids like Hymie the Robot and 'My Living Doll' would not be transformed, unless their synth-skin contained human DNA. But any aliens living on Toobworld disguised as humans - Martians, Orkans, the Solomon "family", the survivors of that ragtag fleet shepherded by the original Battlestar Galactica, and at least one Vulcan - they should have been affected by that alien machine and thus became the Master.

Even Archibald Beechcroft became the Master. How do you like them apples?

If anybody was having sex during that period of transformation and conceived a child, its DNA would be that of the Master's. Even if we never get to see them, there will be clones of John Simm all over the world born before the year is out - and not only boys! If Simm ever plays a character in the Toobworld timeline set forty years or so hence, we can assume that character was a product of the "Master Race".

So because of all that, the Master has the lock on this year's Birthday Honors. Not that it'll do him any good, wherever he is..... BCnU!

Chief Inspector Christopher Foyle had to be dead by 2009; after all, if he was the same age as the actor who played him, then Foyle would have been 125 in 2009!

It's always pozz'ble, just pozz'ble, that the 2nd incarnation of the Doctor arrived on Earth with Jamie and Zoe on Christmas Day, 2009, but I think it's unlikely.

Unless Jack Bauer and Jed Bartlet have doppelgangers in the main Toobworld, they wouldn't be affected. We're only dealing with Earth Prime-Time here and not the alternate TV dimensions.


Hampers said...

First time commenter here. Just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy your blog.

Toby O'B said...

Thanks so much, Hampers! That means a lot!