Thursday, August 11, 2005

MR. NET ZERO

Some people will do anything to create a tele-version of themselves, to gain entry into Toobworld.......

NEW YORK -- A fan jumped from the upper deck during the eighth inning of Tuesday night's White Sox-Yankees game in the Bronx, delaying the game for four minutes.

The fan, 18-year-old Scott Harper, climbed up the net on his own power after spending several minutes sitting with a dazed look on his face. After reaching the stands, he was led away by stadium security before being taken from the ballpark on a gurney.

According to police, Harper was at the game with three friends, and the four had been discussing whether the protective netting would support Harper's weight. In the bottom of the eighth inning, with the Yankees trying to mount a late rally, Harper jumped over the railing on the upper deck, landing on the netting behind home plate.

"I’ll tell you exactly what he said. He goes, ‘Bro, I don’t know, bro, should I do it?'" his friend Mike Spadafino said. “He likes to get attention.”

Principal owner George Steinbrenner seemed angry as he left the Stadium, but at the Yankees and Torre, not at the fan. “That was the only exciting thing that happened today,” he grumbled. (The Yankees lost to the White Sox.)
(from the New York Daily News, MLB.com, and the AP)

It was rumoured that Harper did it so that he would make the highlight film on ESPN. He probably got his wish. He must have shown up on the news broadcasts for TV stations all around the tri-state area, if not the country at large.
If he gets convicted and has to pay a fine, a few talk show appearances will probably pay that off. And he's probably got some low-level version of Ari on 'Entourage' trying to weasel his way into becoming his agent so that he could market himself further for financial gain.

If I knew a warlock, like Uncle Arthur from 'Bewitched', I'd ask him to put a curse on the kid to teach him a lesson. If he wants to be Toob-worthy, then he should go whole hog - no matter where he stepped, Scott Harper should land on a rake which would then whack him in the crotch, just like on 'America's Funniest Home Videos'.

And then some futuristic show should turn his name into a slang term for a real jerk, in much the same way "Herbert" meant that somebody was a stuffed-shirt member of the Establishment on the original 'Star Trek'. I could see Ben Browder as his new character of Cam on 'Stargate SG-1' calling some idiotic alien a stupid Scott-Harper; that a reckless gate-jumper pulled off a dumb move, a real scott-harper.

Otherwise, you're going to have others doing the same stupid stunt or something else even worse that will get them killed. If people want to make their tele-version presence known in Toobworld, then they should go about it like everybody else - debase themselves in a sad attempt for the attention on a "reality" show.

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

2 comments:

WordsSayNothing said...

They're just playing the numbers. Not everyone can get onto a reality show. But almost anyone can theoretically jump onto the net at their local major league baseball stadium.

Toby said...

Mebbe so....

But I like the idea of whacking them in the crotch with a rake as a deterrent!

And they should televise it. Think of the ratings!

I wonder if Singapore ever considered broadcasting "Saturday Night Caning"?