Wednesday, June 8, 2005

AMBER ALERT

As I write this, I'm on the train to Connecticut, continuing my four day celebration of my 50th b'day. It's a 2 1/2 hour ride and I've got nothing better to do, so I might as well finally write up my ruminations on the latest televersion for the Scott Peterson case.

'Amber Frey: Witness For The Prosecution', unlike 'The Perfect Husband: The Laci Peterson Story', focuses on Amber Frey. So of the two leads, a bigger name (Janel Maloney) was cast for her, obviously. But the other version, in which Scott Peterson was the main role and thus Dean Cain was cast, aired first. And because it did center more on the villain of the story (which is always the more interesting role), then we consider to be the official televersion of this tragedy for Earth Prime-Time.

I'm sure Laci and her baby Connor and all those who loved them wished there never had been a reason for either one of these TV movies to be made......

As for 'The Perfect Husband: The Laci Peterson Story', we'll just slide that over to an alternate dimension in the TV Universe. (There are plenty to choose from!)

But we can't place it in the evil mirror universe of 'Star Trek' fame. I've got a feeling that in that version of his disgusting story, Peterson got away with it.

It's the mischievous blimp - er, imp, - in me that wants to put this story in the TV Land of 'The West Wing'.

And then I can sit back and imagine Amber Frey meeting Donnatella Moss.

Interest in telling the Scott Peterson story may wane with this latest TV movie. (Hopefully!) And if so, we may be spared the Amy Fisher experience.

The so-called Long Island Lolita shot her lover's wife in the back of the head, but her victim not only survived, but thrived. Which was probably one of hte main reasons that lurid tale was filmed for TV 3 different times - and practically all at once!

The cosmic integrity of the TV Universe has been able to withstand plenty - from Pink Lady to Urkel - but a third TV flick about the Petersen murder trial could be a killer in itself.

Personally, I'm hoping for a televersion of the Jennifer Wilbanks story. Thirty years ago, this "Runaway Bride" theme would have been the perfect vehicle for Pam Dawber. But now I'm thinking maybe they should cast Evangline Lilly in the role. Thanks to her role on 'Lost', she's certainly got the creds to play a fugitive!

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

PS:
Instead of Metro-North, the train service from Bridgeport to Waterbury, Ct., should be known as "Methadone-North". Based on the "social club" of halfway housers on their way to court, this should be the train line to the Mos Eisley spaceport!!!!

2 comments:

WordsSayNothing said...

I can't believe you're even considering these trashy MotW biopics as part of any respectable television universe. Sure, having Janel Maloney meet Janel Maloney would be cool, but do it via having Donnatella Moss meet Monica the wardrobe worker from one single episode of Sports Night, or have Donna meet one of Janel's other oneshot TV roles.

Toby said...

This is why we're lucky to have 'Sliders'.

If it's broadcast - whether we like it or not, it's like that spaghetti sauce commercial: it's in there.

But we don't have to keep them in the main TV Universe. We slide them over to some alternate dimension.

They are the inbred cousins kept locked in the attic. Nothing says we have to go back and visit with them.

Um... not that I have any inbred cousins of course.....

Toobworld is the Real World, but with TV related enhancements, for good or ill.

And that means for the most part that the history of the Real World is mirrored in the TV Universe.

And history is made up of the small moments - even the tragedies like a guy who kills his wife.

TV's the great maw; sucks it all in. Unfortunately what gets reflected back sometimes sucks as well......