Friday, November 26, 2004


[A Splainin 2 Do Essay]

Just prior to Thanksgiving, (In Toobworld time, that is; in the Real World, we saw it ON Thanksgiving.), Grace Adler related a sex dream she had.

In the dream, "that hot gardener from 'Desperate Housewives'" put a hand on Grace's breast. And then "that hot smart guy from 'Jeopardy'" put a hand on her other breast. Finally, "that hot Korean guy from 'Lost'" put his hand on her third breast.

That was a bit of trivia she forgot to establish: in the dream she had three breasts.

This was different from other dreamZonks; it was related to the audience, not acted out. JustJack's analysis was that the dream signified her fear of dentists, but then he remembered that he was the one with a fear of dentists. (And that his own dentist was also hot, smart, and Korean - Jack was probably drawn to the fact that his name was "Hung".)

What the dream truly meant - besides Grace's need for sex - isn't of importance here. What matters is that she ticked off three shows that take place in the TV Universe as well.

But have no fear! We have splainins!

Let's start with the easiest one first. There was no inherent Zonk involved when Grace invoked 'Jeopardy'. It's long been established that game shows that we watch in the Real World also exist in Toobworld. The actual depiction of fictional games within episodes of other TV shows ('The Simpsons', 'Cheers', even in a few TV commercials like for Holiday Inn Express) has guaranteed that Alex Trebek will be inducted into the TV Crossover Hall of Fame.

Next up would be the mention of 'Lost'. Again, this doesn't prove to be a problem.

Well, not much of one....

Nothing really nailed this down to the current ABC hit show about the plane crash survivors on a strange and mystical tropical island. In fact, there are several movies by the name of "Lost"; any one of these could be the reference Grace was making. And since Jack and Karen seemed to know what she was talking about, they probably had seen the movie as well. Maybe it was a DVD they rented from the Toobworld equivalent of Netflix.

Knowing the shallow natures for both of those secondary characters (who are the main reasons I'm not a fan of this show), I would have to figure that the movie of "Lost" had to be recently released. I don't think either one of them has the patience to watch silent movies, nor would they comprehend the artistic value of black-and-white films from the 30s to the 50s in which literate dialogue had more meaning than mindless action scenes.

But there is one qualifier: it has to be a version of "Lost" in which there was a Korean character. So please talk amongst yourselves while I pop over to the and check out the cast/character lists for all of the "Lost" movies.....

I'm baaaaack! Miss me?

So........ There were fourteen different movies with the one-word title of "Lost". And of them all, it looks like the one we'd want to go with is from 1970. It's actual name is "Mei"; made in China, its international/English translation was "Lost".

It could be that they all saw this movie on DVD and that's why Jack and Karen understood the reference. And yes, the actors were Chinese, not Korean. But remember - Karen and Grace both made out with a guy on Thanksgiving whom they both thought was far older than his sixteen years of age. They're all so self-centered and fairly ignorant of anything outside their own interests; therefore I can believe that they thought Chinese actors in a Chinese movie were Korean.

Now we come to the really tricky one - the hot gardener from 'Desperate Housewives'.....

Unfortunately, this is a really specific title, unlike the more generic "Lost". There are thousands of google entries for it and they all refer back to the same thing - the ABC hit series which should exist in the same universe as 'Will & Grace'. (There are also a few message board entries for lonely guys looking for "desperate housewives to romance". Ain't nobody in 'Will & Grace' that could match either side of that equation!)

But here's a way we can rescue this from being a total Zonk - Doesn't the title of 'Desperate Housewives' summon up the image of a cover painting on one of those steamy paperback novels, the type from Harlequin Romance?

Perhaps in the Toobworld variation, it's a bodice-ripper that was edited by Martin Tupper of Whitestone Publishers in New York. ('Dream On')

None of that should have been a problem for (or even of any interest to) Grace Adler. Whatever the source for those characters in her dream, it made sense to her and it was understood by Jack and Karen.

What should have concerned Grace however was her self-image in the dream. Three breasts? Could it be that her sub-conscience in its deep sleep cycle had somehow tapped into the memories of her soul's earlier incarnation?

The Minbari ('Babylon 5') believed their souls travelled across space to be reborn in human vessels on Earth. Perhaps this happened with the sentient races of other worlds as well.

Maybe in a previous life Grace Adler had been an inhabitant of Eroticon 6, whose best known emissary was Eccentrica Gallumbits, the triple-breasted whore who said Zaphod Beeblebrox was the best bang since the big one. ('The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy')

Or maybe Grace had too much Twip with dinner and it just didn't agree with her.....


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