"NEW TRICKS", OLD ZONKS

Channel 21 of New York shows the British "cold case" procedural 'New Tricks' each Friday. Last night's episode, "Buried Treasure", served up a classic Zonk from each member of the squad, save for Brian "Memory" Lane.

So let's run them down and then back up over them to make sure they're totally disabled!

'CANDID CAMERA'
When Gerry Standing couldn't believe what he was hearing as a criminal's widow confessed to a murder nearly a decade before, he exclaimed, "What is this? 'Candid Camera'?"

Back in the 1960s, when 'Candid Camera' was at the height of its popularity, questions like this were fairly common on many sitcoms. In fact, back in September I wrote about those other instances in my daily Tiddlywinkydink.

Like reality shows, news programs, televised sporting events, and game shows, 'Candid Camera' is watched by the Toobworld audience as well as by the real world audience.

'LASSIE'
Jack Halford was exasperated by Brian's suggestion that his dog Scampi could probably locate a buried body in a large wooded site. "He's not bloody Lassie!" sputtered Jack.

For Toobworld's purposes, there are several incarnations of Lassie. There's the book version and the many film adaptations that derived from it; there's the dog we know from the first, long-running TV series, which was named after the famous movie canine; and then there's the sequel from the 1990s, in which that Lassie was descended from that first TV Lassie.

Any mention of 'Lassie' as a fictional character in other TV shows would be references to the movie versions of 'Lassie'. And in Toobworld, there could be plenty of fictional films about Lassie, just in case specific plot points from the TV series - like Lassie able to understand what a C clamp is! - are mentioned in other shows.

'SCOOBY DOO'
We go to the dogs for the last one as well......

I think of all the cartoon TV series out there, the 'Scooby-Doo' franchise has to be the most often mentioned, and therefore, the most often Zonked. Among the shows that mentioned it are 'Doctor Who', 'Bosom Buddies', 'Undeclared', 'Spaced', 'House', 'CSI', 'Veronica Mars', 'The Big Bang Theory', 'Welcome Back, Kotter', and 'Buffy The Vampire Slayer'.

'New Tricks' joined their ranks when squad leader Sandra Pullman groused, "Scooby Bloody Doo!" But there's no need to worry about that being a Zonk. For the majority of the people in Toobworld, the residents of the Tooniverse are just cartoons, which is how we regard them in the real world. Only a handful of live-action characters know that they actually exist and sometimes even cross over into the main Toobworld.

So that should take care of de-Zonking this particular episode......

BCnU!
Toby O'B

TODAY'S TWD: THE DEATH OF DOROTHY KILGALLEN

November 8, 1965:
Dorothy Kilgallen, American newspaper columnist, dies. (b. 1913)

Courtesy of Wikipedia, the facts are these:

Dorothy Mae Kilgallen (July 3, 1913—November 8, 1965) was an American journalist and television game show panelist known nationally for her coverage of the Sam Sheppard trial, her syndicated newspaper column, "The Voice of Broadway", and her role as panelist on the television game show 'What's My Line?'.

On November 8, 1965, Kilgallen was found dead on the third floor of her five-story townhouse, just 12 hours after she appeared, live, on 'What's My Line?'. Her hairdresser, Marc Sinclaire, found her body when he arrived that morning to style her hair. She had apparently succumbed to a fatal combination of alcohol and Seconal, possibly concurrent with a heart attack. It is not known whether it was suicide or an accidental death, although the amount of barbiturate in her system "could well have been accidental," according to medical examiner James Luke.

Because of her open criticism of the Warren Commission and other US government entities, and her association with Jack Ruby and 1964 private interview with him, some speculate that she was murdered by members of the same alleged conspiracy against JFK. Her claims that she was under surveillance led to a theory that some people had a motive for killing her. This is partially based on the fact that throughout her career she consistently refused to identify any of her sources.

Her autopsy did not suggest evidence of homicide; however, her death certificate cites the cause of death as "undetermined".

After her death, [her husband] married designer Anne Fogarty, who had created the dress Kilgallen had worn on 'What's My Line?' the last night of her life.

On the 'What's My Line?' broadcast following Kilgallen's death, host John Charles Daly opened the show explaining that, after consulting with "her good husband Dick Kollmar", the show's tribute to her would be to go on as usual. The text of Daly's announcement, except for the names of those involved, was identical to the announcement he'd made at the beginning of the broadcast the night after regular panelist Fred Allen died. During their usual "goodnights," each panel member gave a short tribute to her. Bennett Cerf and Steve Allen reminded viewers that her "line" was a print reporter while Arlene Francis and Kitty Carlisle focused on the impact Kilgallen had on the television show.

Dorothy Kilgallen was portrayed twice on television. Linda Harcharic played her in the 1992 TV movie "The Kennedy Assassinations" and Marilyn McIntyre assayed the role in "To Prey In Darkness", an episode of 'Dark Skies' in 1996. (Ms. McIntyre is pictured below.)

In "To Prey In Darkness", Kilgallen's death was depicted, and it was neither an accident nor suicide, but murder. However, it had nothing to do with what she may have known about the assassination of President Kennedy. Instead, it was because she had in her possession incriminating film about the invasion by an alien species known as the Hive. (In the real world, Kilgallen did report on UFOs ten years earlier, using British government sources.)

Written by series creator Bryce Zabel (who has an excellent blog for which you can find the link over there to the left), here then is the scene in which Dorothy Kilgallen died:

INT. KILGALLEN'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Seen only in shadows, a man goes through the apartment contents, obviously looking for something. He stops, hears a key in the door.

Kilgallen enters, sees the mess, and starts to back out, only to be roughly pulled inside! It's Steele!

STEELE

We've been watching you.

KILGALLEN

Yeah? Take a number...

Steele cocks his head, thinks a beat, then roughly back-hands Kilgallen, sending her to the floor.

Steele pours a full tumbler of vodka, hands it over to Kilgallen.

STEELE

You look thirsty. Drink up.

KILGALLEN

I can hold my liquor better than you. I'm not telling you anything.

Steele nods, cocks the hammer on his gun. Kilgallen takes the tumbler to her mouth.

KILGALLEN

Bottom's up.

She takes it all down in a couple of quick gulps. Steele takes the tumbler from her and pours another full glass. He hands it back to her.

KILGALLEN

Oh, for cryin' out loud...(beat) I'll have a killer hangover in the morning but you're not gonna have... nothin'.

Kilgallen takes the second tumbler and drains it. Steele waits a beat.

STEELE

Feeling all right now, Miss Kilgallen?

KILGALLEN

Go to ... hell ...

STEELE

I don't actually believe in the concept. Do you?

KILGALLEN

Do now ...

Her head is obviously starting to spin, her words slurring already.

STEELE

Where did you put the film?

KILGALLEN

That's for me ... to know ... and you ... to find ... out ...

STEELE

And I will.

KILGALLEN

Yeah, with 'bout ... thirty million... other people.

STEELE

Really? Do tell.

KILGALLEN

Don't know ... why they call you ...'Majestic' 'cause you're just ...some cheap ... hood. And that's the way it is.

With that, Kilgallen suddenly falls to the table with a thud. Steele nods to himself, re-holsters his weapon.

In the original script, she earlier passed the film on to Dan Rather, but in the final production, I think it was to a reporter named Ed Hawkins instead. However, the last thing she said, "And that's the way it is" seems like a big give-away as to where the film would end up.....

BCnU!
Toby O'B

[Thanks to Bryce Zabel for 'Dark Skies', such a great addition to Toobworld!]

CAT FIGHT ADDENDUM

Don't know why the link for the Ninja Kittens blipvert didn't show up, but click here to see it on YouTube.....

(In case you've been wondering, I don't embed videos because I'm just too thick to figure out how to do it.....)

BCnU!
Toby O'B

FIVE-O ON MARS

NYPD Detective Sam Tyler in 'Life On Mars' (the US version) has a neighbor named Windy (whom I think is an hallucination within a hallucination, which may have already been established). While talking with Sam, Windy said, "I have the teeniest crush on Steve McGarrett. Do you know him?"

Sam said that he did. "Sure. Hawaii Five-O."

Windy: Book 'em Danno. Do you ever say that? Book 'em Danno.

Sam: I would if I worked with a guy named Danno.

Windy: You should hire one. How cool would that be?

Okay, time for some de-Zonking.

Like 'Columbo', Steve McGarrett gained a national reputation for his work with the Hawaii Five-O police department within the Toobworld reality. So Sam was referring to the actual man, and not to a TV character as he is considered in the real world.

When Windy mentioned "Book 'em, Danno", it'll be the contention of Toobworld Central that it was the name of McGarrett's autobiography after he retired from the force.

That would satisfy the requirements within the fantasy world of Toobworld.

BCnU!
Toby O'B

CAT FIGHT!

HG Wells' "The Island Of Dr. Moreau" has been filmed three times, but has yet to become a TV production. I think it would be a natural for a mini-series, perhaps one of those Robert Halmi productions.

One connection that could be made afterwards would be to 'The Addams Family', since the former business partner of Gomez Addams was a giraffe. You can see him, wearing a business suit, in a painting in the main room's background. (He had to be a silent partner, since giraffes have no voice boxes.)

It's possible that Vincent of 'Beauty And The Beast' was a descendant of the experiments by Dr. Moreau.
There's a new connection out there right now as well, to be found in a commercial for the Toyota Corolla called "Ninja Kittens". Humanoid cats in a "Kill Bill" scenario, the best part of which shows the kitties transfixed by the swinging light bulb.

Like Vincent, they could be sewer-dwelling creatures, which is why we don't see them in scenes from 'The Shield' or 'Law & Order'. (Not sure where the commercial takes place, but it seems to be in the underside of an urban metropolis.)

BCnU!
Toby O'B

MARK OF THE EE ZONKER

In "The Mark Of The Berserker", the latest of 'The Sarah Jane Adventures', Rani Chandra was able to force her Dad to do whatever she wanted because of an alien pendant. Besides hopping on one foot and acting like a lion, she also commanded him to act like Bianca on 'EastEnders'.

In response, he began shouting "Ricky! Whitney!" is a screechy voice.

The use of 'EastEnders' in other shows is probably the most common Zonk I have to deal with from British TV. I most recently addressed the issue in September with its mention in an episode of 'Gavin & Stacey'.

And I'm sure this won't be the last time it happens, either......

BCnU!
Toby O'B

FLAT LAND

I mentioned in today's Tiddlywinkydink that Ealing is the location where both 'Rentaghost' and 'The Sarah Jane Adventures' are located. And although most TV shows are automatically in Toobworld anyway, I don't want to claim there's a connection between these two shows just because they take place in the same suburb of London.

But it is cool to think that the characters from one TV show could bump into those from another series just by turning the corner.

Here's a scene from an episode of 'Crime Traveller'. The two time-traveling detectives were at this block of flats in search of a suspect in a crime that hadn't been committed yet.
I saw this same location show up in a second season episode of 'Primeval' recently, and my buddies Michael and Mark pointed out that it was also in an episode of 'Prime Suspect'.

'Crime Traveller'
'Primeval'
'Prime Suspect'

I wonder if shows with the letter combination of "rime" are required to film there?

BCnU!
Toby O'B

TODAY'S TWD: EALING

Former TARDIS Companion Sarah Jane Smith lives on Bannerman Road in Ealing, which is good enough reason to fire up the Toobworld version of Mapquest......

From Wikipedia:

Ealing is a town in the London Borough of Ealing. It is a suburban development situated 7.7 miles (12.4 km) west of Charing Cross. It is one of the major metropolitan centres identified in the London Plan and is often referred to as the "Queen of the Suburbs".

Ealing is best known for its film studios, which are the oldest in the world and are known especially for the Ealing comedies, including "Kind Hearts and Coronets", "Passport to Pimlico", "The Ladykillers" and "The Lavender Hill Mob". The studios were taken over by the BBC in 1955 so Ealing locations appeared in television programmes ranging from 'Doctor Who' to 'Monty Python's Flying Circus'. Most recently, these studios have again been used for making films, including "Notting Hill", "The Importance of Being Earnest" and "Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones". Most recently, "St Trinian's", a remake of the classic film, was produced by Ealing Studios; some locations in Ealing can be observed in this film.
Here are some other TV shows that are centered in Ealing:

Ealing was the setting for children's comedy show Rentaghost.

The John Sanders department store (now a branch of Marks & Spencer) was the location for the scenes of the Autons breaking through the shop window and beginning their killing rampage in the 1970 'Doctor Who' story "Spearhead From Space".

The police station featured in the opening titles of "Dixon of Dock Green" was the previous Ealing police station, located at number 5 High Street, just north of Ealing Green.
I'd love to see a crossover between 'The Sarah Jane Adventures' and 'Rentaghost'. I think it would be a super natural!

Sorry about that, Chief.....

BCnU!
Toby O'B

SEEING STARS

I'm not sure if this will be a trend this season, but we've seen a few celebrities appear as themselves on TV shows - only to be revealed as hallucinations.
It started with Dennis Reynolds being locked up in a Philly sanitarium on 'It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia'. There was accosted by two other patients: Rob Thomas of the group Matchbox 20, and Sinbad. Later, it turned out that they were just two inmates who bore only a slight resemblance to the musician and the comedian.

Last night, Liz Lemon took a pill in order to prepare for her flight back to New York from Chicago. And then she found out that she was sitting next to Oprah Winfrey.
It turns out that the pill, which could cause dizziness, sexual nightmares and sleep crime, delivered a bigger wallop than Liz expected..... "Oprah" was in fact a 12 year old girl named Pam.

The last one we have is a bit of a cheat. Just as in the UK version of 'Life On Mars', NYPD detective Sam Tyler was struck by a car and now finds himself back in 1973 New York.

While making his way through a nightclub's throng in order to confront the club's owner, Sam bumped into folk rock singer Jim Croce. Sam did his best to warn the doomed singer to stay away from small aircraft, just as the UK Sam tried to warn Marc Bolan of T-Rex to stay away from small sports cars.
Of course, since the real Jim Croce eventually did die in a plane crash, an actor portrayed him in this encounter with Sam. But he's still an hallucination like Rob Thomas, Sinbad, and Oprah.....

I wonder who will be next? Maybe Phyllis Diller will appear in Charlie Harper's bed on 'Two And A Half Men' after he's been on a bender.....?

BCnU!
Toby O'B

A TELEPORT TELLY POST

Cleaning out my Augean stable of email, I found this post which I never put up after "Journey's End", the Season 4 finale of 'Doctor Who':

Near the end of the episode, the Doctor disabled Jack's wrist-band thingie again, telling him there would be no more teleporting.

Before, the Doctor didn't want him jumping around in Time, which is why he made sure it stayed burned out. But this time, he didn't want Jack teleporting either.

Now eventually, the transmat booths will be operational, so I don't think he's actually against the idea of teleportation. It's just that at this point in Time, Earth does not have teleportation - officially.

And in fact, per mention in an episode of 'Eureka' ("Sight Unseen"), the nations of the Earth signed an anti-teleportation treaty.

So the Doctor simply was trying to make sure that Jack obeyed the tenets of that treaty.

(Tennant and the tenets!)

I wrote more on this topic back in 2007.......

BCnU!
Toby O'B