TOOBWORLD JIBBER JABBER

http://mrt.sciamachy.net/jibbajabba/jibajaba.wav

The Dictionary of American Slang from the HarperCollins Reference Library defines "jibber-jabber" as nonsensical talk. It came into Toobworld popularity in the 1980s with its frequent use by Mr. T as B.A. Baracus on 'The A-Team'.

But now the phrase is having a resurgence in the last few months.

On 'Boston Legal', it was the favorite phrase of Judge Robert Sanders (followed closely by "poopycock"). And in the finale of 'That 70s Show', it was uttered by Andrew, a somewhat upper-class Brit-like twit from the same isand (but the other side) where Fez grew up.

As for its use by the Master himself, sucka, Mr. T can be heard using it in "The New Adventures of Mr. T", a cartoon that makes up the "TV Funhouse" segment of 'Saturday Night Live'. And during a blipvert promo for his talk/"advice" show coming to TV Land in October.

There are a lot of blogs out there who've worked it into their names, so it's a good thing I didn't use it as well. Bad enough CBS is cranking up "innertube" for their online content. But at least I was using my version first.

They just have to deal with Richard Huff at the New York Daily News.

http://mrt.sciamachy.net/jibbajabba/tv_talk.wav

Sorry, sir.

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

SPINOFF CITY: A NEW "RAVEN" HAVEN

'That's So Raven', the most successful series on the Disney Channel, will spin off 'Cory in the House', which will feature characters Cory and Victor Baxter. They plan to debut the show in November.

Kyle Massey and Rondell Sheridan will reprise their roles as Cory and his father Victor. And the plotline will thrust not only 'Cory In The House' out of Earth Prime-Time, but 'That's So Raven as well for having spawned it.

In the series, Victor will be chosen to be the personal chef for the newly-elected President of the United States. (So that makes for a nice tie-in with the November launch of the show.) And the show will follow Cory's attempts to adjust to life in Foggy Bottom. This includes his attempts to fit in at an exclusive Washington school, as well as dealing with the president's 8 year old daughter.

(Having never seen 'That's So Raven', I have no clue as to how old the character of Cory is supposed to be.)

Right there you can see why both shows now have to be banished to another TV dimension - on Earth Prime-Time, the main Toobworld, the POTUS is George W. Bush, and he doesn't have an 8 year old daughter.

Just two daughters who sometimes act like 8 year olds.

Ba dum DUM.

The POTUS for this dimension has already been named - Richard Martinez, the first Hispanic President for his dimension; the second for all of Toobworld. (Luis Santiago, the President in 'Babylon 5' was the President for all of Earth.)

The role of President Richard Martinez has yet to be cast, but it's a shame he has to show up at all. First off, he could have been kept out of the program altogether, and just mentioned as being "The President". And that way we could assume Victor was the personal chef for W.

Of course, this would mean wiping out the character of the 8 year old as well. And this being a Disney Channel show, that would have been unlikely since it's all aimed at the kids. More than likely this concept has a built-in spinoff of its own for that daughter.

But had they never named the President, and we knew that he was of Hispanic background by virtue of his 8 year old daughter, we could have assumed we were once more back in the dimension of 'The West Wing'. And the daughter could be assumed to be the daughter of Matthew and Helen Santos. (The difference in her looks due to casting could have been splained away somehow. And the loss of her brother's presence? He was still going to the public school first chosen by their parents.)

It would not have been difficult to carry off the show without ever learning the 8 year old's last name, and thus the last name of the President. For a "decade" (the 70s) we never learned the true full name of Fez on 'That 70s Show', nor the country from which he came. And as with that sitcom, 'Cory In The House' could have utilized that idea as a running gag.

The timing would have been perfect to align both shows in the same dimension, as this November Matt Santos will also be elected to the Presidency.

But noooooooo, it's to be President Richard Martinez and so 'Cory In The House' must be assigned to its own dimension; or at least to one in which it doesn't matter who the President of the United States is. For the moment, I can't think of a dimension already occupied by other TV shows which needs a different President from that of George W. Bush. (There are other reasons for alternate TV dimensions besides a difference in the Commander in Chief.)

But as I said, 'Cory In The House' won't be lonely over in that new TV dimension. Because it's a spinoff from 'That's So Raven', Raven herself must be deemed an occupant of it as well. And that's even with the fact that the original series has wrapped production after 100 episodes.

I suppose the argument could be made that the original series remains in the main Toobworld, and that it's an alt. dimensional version of Raven whose friend heads off to a different Washington, DC, but it seems all too busy. Best to stick with the Occam's Razor splainin.

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

GUEST SPOT: BRIAN-EL ON "INVASION"

Brian-El wrote to me, and to the Iddiot's Delight Digest, about Wednesday night's upcoming final episode of 'Invasion':

It's official: ABC has canceled 'Invasion'. There was some talk of the new CW Network picking it up, but apparently it's too expensive for them.

I haven't been so pissed-off about a show being canceled since probably 'Lou Grant'--and that had been on the air for several seasons and was arguably headed downhill.

'Invasion' had one season, a season which spent its time slowly building up the suspense and horror and developing its characters masterfully. Last week's episode literally gave me chills--and I can't recall any TV show doing that since I was a kid watching 'Twilight Zone'.

'Invasion' gets my vote for best show of the 2005-6 TV season, a season which included terrific shows like 'Lost', 'Arrested Development', 'Scrubs', '24', and 'Boston Legal'. It was, I think, better than any of the similar shows which preceded it, like "V" and even, yes, 'The X-Files' (although admittedly 'The X-Files' had some superb individual episodes).

And I thought Shaun Cassidy would never amount to anything...

I didn't agree. I gave it a few episodes, but time is short in Toobworld, even without commercial breaks, and I couldn't waste any more of mine to the show. Besides, after seeing any episode of 'Lost', I was always too jazzed to watch anything else. Even last year, I just wasn't in the mood to watch 'The West Wing' following 'Lost'. And I loved 'The West Wing'.

So I wrote to him and hoped that he would enjoy it, and that it would have the resolution he was seeking.

After seeing the final episode, Brian-El wrote back:

It had *some* resolution, but certainly not enough. Really there would have been no way to do it right given the story arc. There was a"cliffhanger", but it was low-key--I think (based on an article I read)that it was the one thing Cassidy was able to change in time--that is, making it a "muted" clffhanger instead of a more agonizing one, as you say.

Apparently ABC had given them the impression that the show would be renewed, and that didn't change until the final episodes were beingwrapped.

Actually, I'm glad I knew while watching it that it would be the end--that way, I could sit there and think up possible resolutions of my own. BTW,did I mention that I'm now an alien-human hybrid? So are you.

And I would still recommend watching 'Invasion' on DVD if it ever comes out.

Silly human hybrid. He has no clue who - what! - my people are......

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

WISH-CRAFT: 'BOSTON LEGAL'

You know what would have pleased the TV geek in me with that season finale of 'Boston Legal'?

If once, just once, there was a scene which had Denny Crane sharing the screen with senior partner Paul Lewiston and their L.A. client Courtney Reece.

Why? Because Denny Crane is played by William Shatner; Rene Auberjenois plays Paul; and the guest star was Jeri Ryan as Courtney.

And even though it may seem o'bvious to me to point this out, Shatner played Captain Kirk in the original 'Star Trek', Auberjenois was Chief Constable Odo on 'Deep Space Nine', and Jeri Ryan was the former Borg, Seven of Nine on 'Voyager'.

That would have provided a great frame grab to launch any number of fanfic stories.

But noooooooo! Paul had to stay behind in Boston to oversee the catfight between Marilyn Stanger and Denise Bauer.

In the end, he probably got the better deal......

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

AN "IDOL" THOUGHT

Okay, I don't watch 'American Idol', nor any of the many other "talent" shows or so-called "reality" shows. I find them to be a waste of my time when it comes to the whole idea of Toobworld. (But I do take them into account should any of the contestants go on to appear as themselves in fictional settings on dramas or sitcoms. And when those dramas and sitcoms use those shows as the background for their episodes (like 'Big Brother' on 'Yes, Dear', or 'American Gladiator' on 'Family Matters').

But even though I haven't been watching 'AI', I still know who was in the running. How could I avoid that? You can't open a paper or peruse any of the major TV-oriented websites without seeing something about "McFeever" or Chris Daughtry being robbed, only to join up with one of his favorite bands.

So I know the name of Elliott Yamin, but really never saw what he looked like. Until this morning, when I logged into AOL and saw his face grinning out at me from one of their news stories.

Is it just me.... or does Elliott look like Mr. Tumnus from "The Lion, The Witch, And The Wardrobe"?

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

TELE-COGS: THE HALF-BAKED BOSTON BEAN

When Denny Crane returned to Boston from L.A. in the season finale of 'Boston Legal', he demanded a kiss from his law partner, Shirley Schmidt. But when she wanted a reason why she should do something so ethically challenged, Denny explained that it was the last episode of Sweeps.

Later, while relaxing with his best friend on the patio of his office, Alan Shore assured Denny that they'd still be together next season.

"Same night?" asked Denny.

Alan could only hope.

If that exchange was happening at the exact moment it aired, then perhaps their version of ABC had not yet announced their fall schedule at their upfronts. However, in the Real World, they were announced that morning - of course, too late to do anything about it in production of the episode.

Denny Crane remains the most tele-cognizant of TV characters in Toobworld today. I sometimes refer to Tele-cognizance (a condition in which the "sufferer" knows he or she is living in a TV universe) as "Addison's Syndrome"; naming it for David Addison of 'Moonlighting' who was also afflicted with the ailment.

I'd name it after Denny, but he likes saying his name so much that I don't think he'd like to share it.

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

THE HAT SQUAD: LEW ANDERSON

My favorite Doodyville Citizen was Clarabell the Clown. Clarabell always communicated through "The Box." Clarabell's peanut -vendor-style box contained two horns and a seltzer bottle. Clarabell always answered our questions by honking one horn for "yes" and the other for "no." Clarabell also made his feelings known from the non-business end of a seltzer bottle or two. Fortunately for me, Buffalo Bob was the usual target.
- Howdy Doody

Lew Anderson, the last in a long line of actors to have played one of the most beloved TV characters from the early days of television, has passed away after a long illness. Lew Anderson died on May 14th having just reached his 84th birthday.

He was the leader, composer and arranger of the “Lew Anderson All American Big Band” and was famous for his portrayal of “Clarabell the Clown” on NBC – TV’s 'Howdy Doody Show'. (The role was originated by Bob Keeshan of 'Captain Kangaroo' immortality. On the episode of 'Happy Days' in which Clarabell appeared, Robert Brunner played the part.)

He was born on May 7th In Kirkman, Iowa, the son of Lloyd Anderson, a railroad telegrapher, and Nell Whisler, a stay at home mother.

In the late 1940’s Lew joined the popular singing group “The Honey Dreamers” as both vocalist and arranger. With this group he appeared on Dave Garroway’s 'Garroway at Large' TV show, The Kay Kyser TV and radio show, 'The Steve Allen Show' and 'The Ed Sullivan Show'.

Their hit records brought them to the attention of Bob Smith who asked them to be part of an NBC-TV musical show he produced. (Mr. Smith at the time was also hosting the children’s TV show “Howdy Doody”.)

When the fellow playing Clarabell decided to move on, the producers spotted Lew’s Midwest sense of humor and asked him to take over the part.

They inquired, “Do you juggle?”
Lew answered “No.”
“Dance?”
“No.”
“Magic tricks?”
“No.”
“What can you do?”
“Nothing.”
“Perfect. You start tomorrow.”

(That sounds like the perfect TV job for me.....)

Lew became Clarabell the Clown and stayed in the role for many years. Clarabell never spoke except with his two bicycle horns – one for “yes”, the other “no”. He also became a master of the seltzer bottle spraying all targets – especially Mr. Smith during the broadcasts.

One of TV’s most memorable moments occurred when 'Howdy Doody' finally went off the air on September 24, 1960. At the end of the show, the camera came in tight to Lew’s face and with a tear in his eye finally spoke saying “Goodbye Kids”.

That scene has played over and over in TV highlight programs.

A memorial service will be held at the First Congregational Church of Ridgefield, CT on Monday, May 22 at 4:00 p.m.

"[People] tell me how important we were to their growing-up years," Anderson once said. "People tell me what an impact the show had on their lives, and that they wish they could have a show like that today. It is very gratifying, of course. I'm sure glad that something good came out of that thing."

[cobbled together from various online reports]

BCnU....
Tele-Toby

BEHIND THE SCENES: @ DANZA'S

A friend of mine took her Mom to see a taping of 'The Tony Danza Show'. Here's her account of what happened which she's mailing off to the show....


Today, my mother and I planned to see your show. It was a particularly special day for mom, because, at 76, she doesn't come into New York any more, but she's a really big fan of yours -- partly because you grew up in her neighborhood -- so we took vacation days from work, happily anticipating the treat. I'd written for tickets back in January and was so pleased to get the letter and the phone call.

In the letter from your staff was a highlighted line that read, "NO earlier than 11:30, no later than 12:00 noon." When Monica called, she said the same thing -- stressed it, even.

And so we, and a number of other people who were going to your show, waited in Starbucks until 11:15. At 11:15, we thought we might be impolitely early, but we were hoping for good seats. At 11:20, there were already dozens of people on line. Our little Starbucks group was the very last before the rope went up. One is a dialysis nurse who'd just finished a 12-hour shift and brought her 80-year-old mother. Another is a couple who got up at 4:30 this morning and rode in from Allentown, Pennsylvania, on a bus.

Now I was just hoping this was a fairly large studio....

It isn't, though, and after standing around on a grate -- in heels -- for over an hour, watching what seemed like random distribution of little blue numbered tickets (it's probably easier to get into Bungalow 8) and members of your staff who were mainly talking to each other, and who, when they tried to speak to the crowd, were inaudible, we realized that something had gone amiss. After at least another 15 minutes of standing tippy-toed on the grate, I was told -- only when I asked -- that there were no more tickets. Our coffee klatch was turned away by a staff that, while polite, was entirely disinterested in discussing it.

My mom thinks you're wonderful. She watches your show every chance she gets. She and my aunts discuss it at length. They were actually a bit giddy over the whole idea of her getting to see your show. They even collect your clippings, which mom -- in a first (except, I think, for a teenage letter to Frank Sinatra) -- wrote you a little note, with a couple of your own clippings her sister had sent her. You're their good neighborhood Brooklyn boy. I think that's in the note. She gave it to one of your staff when we left. I hope you got it.

These other folks from Starbucks think the world of you, too. While talking to them, it struck me that your fans are really nice people. It's a great thing to be able to have such nice people as fans. They deserved better.

Sincerely,
i.v.

RETURN ENGAGEMENTS II

You West Coasties - turn back now! Come back after midnight!

Looks like I was too fast out of the gate with the earlier "Return Engagements" post today.

Tonight was the series finale of 'That 70's Show', ending right at the stroke of midnight on December 31st, 1979.

I already knew Kelso was going to return to ring out the old, but I was surprised to see Eric Foreman come back as well. He's certainly grown a lot since we first met him years ago. And here in the Real World, Topher Grace - the actor who played him - will probably have a great future ahead of him in whatever acting field he sets his sight on. (Don't burn your Toobworld bridges, Toph!)

And Kevin Bacon made a return visit to 'Will & Grace' tonight, if only in Grace's dreams.

Still at least a week to go for Sweeps..... Who's next?

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

FINALITIES

Here's how I'd like to see 'Will & Grace' end in less than an hour and a half.....

Debra Messing's character is brutally murdered by the DNA-enhanced super-humans she was tracking.

What? She's playing Grace Adler, not Dr. Sloan Parker?

This isn't 'Prey'? Never mind.

'Will & Grace'? Laughed a few times, but never a fan.

BCnU!
Tele-Toby