Saturday, January 14, 2006

A SOLO "HUSTLE" BY ANY OTHER NAME?

Tonight (Saturday 1/14 @ 10 pm), AMC will premiere a new series called 'Hustle'. It's new to the American shores; it was shown by the BBC back in 2004.

It's about a gang of con artistes who only choose as their marks those who have more than they should have, who have more than their fair share, or who are dangerously greedy. They never go after those people who can't afford it or who are basically good in nature. They are the enforcers for Karma.

Maybe they can cross over with 'My Name Is Earl'.

But in an interview in the NY Daily News with Marisa Guthrie, Robert Vaughn had a different crossover in mind.....

"I thought, well what if Napoleon Solo finished his work, got his retirement pension and then realized he couldn't live on it. How could he live in the wonderful world of girls and cars and jewelry? He couldn't.

"So rather than go way outside the law, what does he do? He becomes a con man."

In Vaughn's mind, there's a possibility that his character of Albert Stroller, the "roper" who finds the mark for the team to take on, is in reality Napoleon Solo from 'The Man From U.N.C.L.E.'.

It's an intriguing idea, but it all depends on how the characters' lives are fleshed out as the series progresses. This could be a show rich in background detail on each character, peeled away in layers over time, as we have been seeing the last two seasons with 'Lost'. Or they could be parsimonious with the information... information... information.... as happened with Number Six on 'The Prisoner'

Either way works well for Toobworld purposes. With a wealth of trivia, there could be no end to the number of links with other TV shows that could be forged. At the same time, a dearth of detail leaves pretty much a blank canvas upon which conjecture could be made.

Let's go back to Number Six - we know his birthdate, we met his fiancee, we know he takes no sugar in his tea. That's about it.

So what stops us from thinking Number Six was John Drake of 'Danger Man' (and Number 12 was Nelson Brenner from a 'Columbo' episode)?

Okay, besides McGoohan on occasion.......

Other actors have played this connection game in the past. Scott Bakula thought it would be cool if his character of Jonathan Archer on 'Enterprise' had the middle name of "Beckett", which would have made him a possible relative to Dr. Sam Beckett who was working on his own possible method of time travel in the late 20th Century.

However, as for Albert Stroller being Napoleon Solo, right now I'm leaning toward the idea that they are not the same cool dude. I think there's way too much info out there about Solo that prevents us from making that connection.

Albert Stroller could still be the alias for one of Vaughn's other characters. Personally, I think it more likely that he could be Harry Rule from 'The Protectors'.

Despite my preferences, a higher chance of compatibility would be with any of his one-off characters from TV movies and guest appearances on various shows - even as Jim Darling, Laura Petrie's old flame from an episode of 'The Dick Van Dyke Show'. Whad did we really know about him and what he had been doing since he knew Laura?

But he definitely could NOT be an alias for the character Vaughn played in an episode of 'Diagnosis Murder' ("Discards"), Alexander Drake. True, he was a spy and thus fitting the argument Vaughn made for Solo. And the name of "Alexander Drake" already sounds like an alias; like he had cobbled together the identity by stealing the first name from Alexander Mundy ("It Takes A Thief") and the last name from John Drake ("Danger Man").

However, as shown in that episode of 'Diagnosis Murder', there wasn't a lot of potential for a future with that character.......

BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Closing Channel D.......

"CRUMBS" WELCOMED

The links made via the new show 'Crumbs' are based on the same principle as those for 'Jake In Progress' and 'Will & Grace' this week: the televersions of famous people had their fictional lives expanded.

While she was a "guest" at the Cedar Hills Sanitarium in Connecticut, Suzanne Crumb won a lot of money playing poker against "that guy in Aerosmith".

I'm not so familiar with the group roster, but so long as no further information was forthcoming as to which member would be most likely in that facility with her, then I'm going to say it was Steven Tyler. And of course, that's because he can provide more links due to his membership in the League of Themselves.

Steven Tyler links 'Crumbs' to 'Stacked' ("A Fan For All Seasons"), 'Lizzie McGuire' ("Xtreme Xmas"), and 'Two And A Half Men' ("If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going To Take A Nap").

He also caused a commotion by just walking through a restaurant in the Sony Cybershot camera blipvert over a year ago.

With 'Stacked' and 'Two And A Half Men', he was in that transitional phase between a full guest appearance and just being talked about. That is, he was heard in the scenes but not seen.

Well, you did see his hand reach down into the bookstore's elevator where Katrina, his biggest fan, was trapped.

On 'Lizzie McGuire' he played Santa Claus for the local community and wouldn't waver from asserting his identity as Kris Kringle. But that could have been for two splainins - he didn't want a mob circus scene to go crazy if he revealed himself as "that guy from Aerosmith", and because he was "doin' it for the kids".

Over in the Tooniverse, Steven Tyler showed up in Springfield to play a set in celebration of the latest fad, a "Flaming Moe" drink. ('The Simpsons')

So by the very loose and sloppy Toobworld standards, 'Crumbs' enters the TV Universe right out of the gate.

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

Friday, January 13, 2006

PARTYIN' LIVE WITH THE LEAGUE OF THEMSELVES

Where in the world is Matt Lauer?

Well, in Toobworld he was at Karen's party last night on 'Will & Grace'.

For their second live episode this season, 'Will & Grace' spent the whole episode in Karen's palatial bathroom during her birthday party. Matt Lauer was the only televersion who needed to use the facilities while they were all in there, (Actual character Beverly poked in as well.) but there was a stellar array of celebs just beyond the door.... at least so we were told.

Among the invited:

Yoko Ono (Rosario was convinced Yoko wanted her.)
Gore Vidal
Happy Rockefeller (Karen feared that Happy would be farting all night if she ate Will's pickled shrimp.)
Susan Sarandon
Tim Robbins
Liza Minnelli
Philip Seymour Hoffman (Grace grabbed his ass; he grabbed her boob.)
Diane Sawyer (Rosario's idol.)
and
John McCain (Grace thought he starred in 'Cheaper By The Dozen'.)

I don't know if Happy Rockefeller was ever mentioned in passing on a fictional TV series before. I would think some snarky sitcom would have at least mentioned the infamous circumstances surrounding her husband's death back in the late 1970s.

But if not, she should hope to get some other credits under her belt or it'll be the image of "Happy Farts" that will forever haunt her in Toobworld.

Despite their appearances on news programs, talk shows, and variety specials, Liza Minnelli, John McCain, Diane Sawyer, and Philip Seymour Hoffman have no actual televersions to speak of in Toobworld. (I'm not sure about comments made about their fictional lives in other shows; I would think Liza would be a natural in that department.)

This was especially surpising for Diane Sawyer, in that I would have thought she might have appeared on 'Murphy Brown' at some point as herself.

Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins both appeared on 'The Footy Show' and even though most of the people on that oddball series appeared as themselves, there was still Trevor Marmalade who relegates the whole exercise to "The Land of Fiction".

(Tim Robbins also has a 'Primetime Glick' to his credit, which has a similar application.)

As for Matt Lauer, his only other Toobworld apperance as himself is off in the Tooniverse, where he appeared in an episode of 'Father Of The Pride'.

So that leaves Gore Vidal and Yoko Ono, two names not normally associated with the idea of a TV Universe.

But Mr. Vidal has made appearances in two different dimensions of Toobworld. On Earth Prime-Time, he visited 'Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman' in her Fernwood home back in the mid-1970s. And in an alternate dimension that will split off from the main TV Land with the next Presidential election, Vidal hosted a TV documentary that looked back on the life of President Bobby McAllister. (In that dimension, he remained remarkably fit well into the 2020s, for a man born in 1925!)

As for Yoko Ono, she hosted Paul Buchman's visit to her home in the Dakota on 'Mad About You'.

The whole episode of 'Will & Grace' might have made for an excellent Crossover of the Week... with itself! That's because, aside from the crossovers due to the League of Themselves, the episode was performed live again a few hours later for the West Coast. So that episode, as with all live episodes of such dramatic shows that are repeated a second time that night, would be relegated to Earth Prime Time Delayed.

It would have made for a great Crossover of the Week.... except for a big Zonk!, that is. When Grace saw Jack in his flowery, garish dressing gown, she called him "Mrs. Roper". That would have been easy enough to splain away, but then Jack had to compound it by hitting us over the head with the fact that it was a reference to 'Three's Company'.

At least he didn't mention the spin-off of 'The Ropers'!

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

BIG NEWS: "DOCTOR WHO" TO THE USA!

Oh, we lucky ducks in America! Get ready for March Madness!

'Doctor Who' is at last arriving on our airwaves in March, courtesy of a deal worked out between the Sci-Fi Channel and the BBC/

According to the BBC Online, the Sci Fi Channel has been granted the first-run rights for the series of Doctor Who written and executive produced by Russell T Davies. The channel also has an option on the second series, in which David Tennant takes over the time travelling adventurer's title role from Eccleston.

Sci FI Channel's Thomas P Vitale said, "With its rich history of imaginative storytelling, 'Doctor Who' is a true sci-fi classic. We're excited to add the show to our line up."

Candace Carlisle, from BBC Worldwide Americas, said: "The new production has fantastic storylines and production values and has already gained an iconic status around the world. Sci Fi Channel is the perfect home for the show and will introduce Doctor Who to a whole new generation of fans in the US."

I can't wait to hear the reaction of the American critics to Captain Jack Harkness, Inner Toob's choice for the Best Leading Male Character of 2005. And will the show fly under the radar of the American Family Association and other narrow-minded prudes? Should be interesting......

And speaking of ducks, Late may be better than Never, but there was no excuse for this show to have taken so long to reach our shores. I lay the blame on the suits at any network that might have had the opportunity to pick up the project earlier, and that includes the Sci-Fi Channel. (I'm told they balked at the accents!)

And the BBC shares some of the blame as well. From what I've heard, their initial asking price was too high.

I just felt the need to vent, which is wrong, because the Toobworld concept should be free of concern for what happens behind the scenes.

Nevertheless, (speaking of ducks), this is a classic example of a Toobworld mantra....

Network executives should be nibbled to death by ducks.

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

EVERYTHING'S JAKE & COMING UP ROSIE

There are several League of Themselves variations for crossovers this week, folks. And since the Crossover of the Week is locked down (to be revealed on Monday), I may as well start posting these now.

First up:

'JAKE IN PROGRESS'
&
'CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM'

Naomi destroyed Rosie O'Donnell's career!

As Naomi described it, Rosie used to be famous and now she's not.

And that should be a lesson to anyone who dares to cross Naomi.

Rosie's last appearance as a fictional character, as a televersion of herself, was in this past season of 'Curb Your Enthusiasm'. But the mention of her by Naomi doesn't imply that it follows that appearance in a linear timeline. There's no way of knowing when Naomi exacted her revenge, but it would have to be after Rosie's talk show ended.

Rosie O'Donnell has made appearances as her televersion in the following shows:

'Curb Your Enthusiasm'
'The Nanny'
'Suddenly, Susan'
'Primetime Glick'
'Spin City' (alt. dimension)
'Blue's Clues' (alt. dimension? Blue could be a virtual reality projection)

And there may even be more examples like 'Jake In Progress', in which a famous person is involved without actually having to appear. ('Movie Stars' was good for this type of "link".)

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

Thursday, January 12, 2006

VULCANIZED "BONES"

FBI Agent Seeley Booth understood why Angela Montenegro couldn't remain detached from her work as a forensic artist, because "she wasn't raised on Vulcan" like the others on Dr. Temperance Brennan's team at the Jeffersonian Institute.

"Bones" Brennan's response? "I don't know what that means."

I do - a big, Zonk!ing headache.

TV shows that make reference to 'Star Trek' is probably the most common of all Zonk!s for Toobworld. 'Star Trek' is supposed to be part of Toobworld's future, and yet all of these characters who have been around since the late 1960s know about their future due to a TV show which dramatized it.

'Frasier' attended a sci-fi convention and met somebody dressed as a Klingon.

During his 'Wonder Years', Kevin Arnold once fantasized himself and his friends as characters on the show.

After getting food poisoning at a convention, a lot of Trekkies had to be treated by the 'Nurses' of a Miami hospital.

At least the future of 'Futurama' is beyond 'Star Trek' by about six centuries, and even though it's just a TV show for them, I could shrug it off as being relegated to the Tooniverse. But that doesn't take into account 'Star Trek: The Animated Series'......

Like I said, one big headache.

And when it comes to mentioning the planet Vulcan, it's not just 'Star Trek' that's being Zonk!ed, but also 'Doctor Who'. In "The Power Of The Daleks", the first story to feature Patrick Troughton as the Doctor in his second incarnation (and which sadly has been lost by the idiocies of the BBC), there was a colony of humans on Vulcan by 2220. They were attacked by three rogue Daleks which had buried themselves into the soil of Vulcan two hundred years before.

The Doctor, with help from his companions Polly and Ben, was able to destroy the machine-encased monstrosities, but most of the humans were killed by that point. However, it is unknown if any of the host Vulcans were killed before the arrival of the TARDIS. As there was no mention of them being on the planet at all during the story, it seems to me that the Vulcans had allowed these humans to establish their colony in one of the uninhabited regions of their planet and suffered their presence as the Earthlings began mining the planet for what rightfully belonged to the Vulcans.

It's possible the Vulcans weren't too sorry about what the Daleks did. Wait, what am I thinking? That would have been an emotional reaction.

Officially, the first contact between the Vulcans and the people of Earth won't be taking place until 2063, after Zephraim Cochrane made the first warp flight out of Earth's atmosphere. (This was all played out in the movie "Star Trek: First Contact".)

But the Vulcans had visited Earth in the past, most notably in 1957 as seen in an episode of "Enterprise". Three Vulcans were stranded for a time in a small mining town in Pennsylvania. (There they met the future scientist Jackson Roykirk as a young teenager.)

One of them was left behind to live hidden among the humans, but the only impact they might have made by this contact was the introduction of Velcro to Earth culture.

Right now, it's my way of thinking that at least Agent Booth knows about Vulcan because of this incident. That eventually that stranded Vulcan somehow came to the notice of the governmental authorities in America, and it was all hushed up in one of 'The X-Files' compiled by Agent Arthur Dales.

Booth may be all queasy around the forensics done at the Institute, and yet he probably never did a spit take when he got the chance to look at some of those files maintained by Special Agent Fox Mulder.

However, that still doesn't splain why everybody - except Dr. Brennan, - seems to know about 'Star Trek' as a TV series.

I can't pass off the idea once suggested to me that the stranded Vulcan made it to Hollywood where he gave Gene Roddenberry the idea for the show, as he was a contemporary of 1957 Earth, not flung backwards from the future of 'Star Trek'. So there was no way for him to know about Captain Kirk and Company.

No, that scenario only works if someone from the future beyond the known reaches of 'Star Trek' and its many franchises came back in Time to pull off such a stunt? And why do it at all? Perhaps to better prepare the world for the role it would one day play in the universe.

WDIK?

BCnU... and live long and prosper!
Tele-Toby

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

AQUA-MANAGEMENT

The WB has finally announced who will be their next small screen hero in the upcoming series 'Aquaman'. Twenty-eight-year-old newcomer Will Toale will star in the title role in the new series from 'Smallville' creators Alfred Gough and Miles Millar.

The Florida-born Toale worked as a model before landing a supporting role in "A Streetcar Named Desire" at Broadway's Roundabout Theater alongside Natasha Richardson and John C. Reilly.

Broadway, Tennessee Williams, Richardson and Reilly.... no small potatoes!

The pilot is expected to be shot in Miami, and the series will start as part of the WB’s fall offering lineup. (There are reports that 'Aquaman' will not be the title for the series.)

"In the comic, Aquaman's the lost king of Atlantis," said Gough. "But in our version, he is Arthur Curry, this twenty-something who owns a dive shop."

I'll have to take a wait-and-see attitude on this new 'Aquaman'; wait for more information. If the show remains independent of 'Smallville', then everything is fine, because the 'Smallville' universe (which also houses 'The West Wing' and 'Mr. Sterling') already has its own 'Aquaman'. The trouble and splainins begin if a crossover ever happens.

And how could they resist? Same network, same producers, and 'Smallville' is enjoying some of its best ratings ever. Kal-El may not have his cape yet, but he's got some great coattails to ride.

So if they do cross over the new 'Aquaman' to 'Smallville', a splainin will have to be found as to why he no longer looks like Alan Ritchson in that stand-alone episode, 'Aqua'.

If he never crosses over, we can leave him beached in some alt. TV dimension. But which one?

The Tooniverse has its own Aquaman; a traditional rendering of the superhero based on the comic books. And in the main Toobworld, Aquaman is just a comic book character, and a joke at that considering the scorn heaped on the concept by Vince Chase's 'Entourage'.

But their contempt comes from ignorance about a race of mermen that actually do exist in Toobworld. Most notably there is Mark Harris, 'The Man From Atlantis', but various merfolk have been seen in episodes of 'Doctor Who' ("The Underwater Menace") and a tele-flick for 'Sabrina The Teenage Witch' ("Sabrina Down Under").

According to the comic books, Arthur Curry is the son of a human father and an Atlantean mother. (In a similar vein, 'Fantastic Journey' featured Liana, who was born of a human mother and an Atlantean father.)

The fact that Aquaman is a comic book character in Toobworld doesn't negate the possibility that he actually exists there. Superman is regarded mostly as a comic book character in today's Toobworld, but he actually did exist, serving Metropolis and saving the world until his death in the early 1960s. (Whole other story!)

But even while he was alive, Superman was a comic book character, as seen in "The Birthday Letter" episode of 'The Adventures of Superman'. I would guess that Supes okayed its publication, so long as all profits went to some charity to help the kids.

And after his death, somebody - perhaps Superman's pal Jimmy Olsen? - was able to reveal the full story of the Man of Steel. And that's how Jerry 'Seinfeld' knew that Superman's birth-father was Jor-El.

So if the King of Atlantis is out there as Arthur Curry in Earth Prime-Time he has not revealed himself.

He wouldn't have been hard to miss, though, with that garish orange body-shirt!

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

NEOCOGNOMINA 1/11

CBS is developing its first original entertainment content for cell phones, a soap opera that will run five to seven original episodes a week, at three to five minutes a pop.

The network's daytime department is handling the project, which will be created by writer-producer James Dutcher and Leah Hecker.

Story arcs could last as long as three months. Casting has not yet commenced, and it's not yet clear what services might carry the show.

More than likely this will have no impact on Toobworld, unless CBS decides to launch the production with appearances by some of its established characters from its four TV-based soaps. ('As The World Turns', 'Guiding Light', 'The Young & The Restless' and 'The Bold & The Beautiful')

But one major reason I mentioned it is because it's already adding to the lexicon - it's being dubbed "mobisoap" for "mobile soap".

Mobisoap. Ewwwwwww. It's cringe-worthy!

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

REASONS WHY NOT IN PROGRESS

In his review for both 'Emily's Reasons Why Not' and 'Jake In Progress' in the NY Daily News, David Bianculli concluded with this:

"If Jake and Emily paired up on a date soon, there's a chance one of their shows could survive - by hiring both leads. Otherwise, there may be more than enough reasons why both shows, in their current incarnations, won't survive the year."

But Jake lives in Manhattan, and Emily's in Santa Monica; from one end of the country to another. And in the Trueniverse, that might be a real detriment to even meeting, let alone dating.

They live in Toobworld, however, and such logistical obstacles can always be overcome. If George Burns could turn up in a small diner in Arizona ('Alice'), and Sammy Davis, Jr., hang out at Archie Bunker's home ('All In The Family'), and Larry David could wind up in Heaven ('Curb Your Enthusiasm'), then getting these two kids together is child's play.

Emily Sanders is an editor for a publishing company, and Jake Phillips is a publicist. Sooner or later, one of Jake's clients will want to write a tell-all confessional memoir, and Jake may want to shop it to Emily's company or she might actively campaign to land it for herself.

Or she might represent a book by someone whom Jake would NOT want to see published, and from that initial conflict, sparks could fly.

At least until Jake fulfills the five reasons "why not".....

So if the producers of both shows wanted to do a crossover - and they may have to, given the reviews and ratings! - that could be the way to go.

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

A LILY RUSH & A BABY BE BOPPED

The week's hardly begun and I'm ready to call a winner for the best quote of the week:

Lily: I swear to God if I so much as catch you even breathing the same air as her, I will take those peanuts you're trying to pass off as testicles and squeeze them so hard, your eyes pop out and then I will feed them to you like grapes!
Barney: Which? My eyes or my testicles?
Lily: One of each!
from 'How I Met Your Mother'

Also I think I could call the best sight gag of the week as well: Naomi bopping her baby's head on the door frame as she brought it home from the hospital for the first time on 'Jake In Progress'.

I may be alone on that opinion; I have a friend who's an ADA and it pissed him off. I guess that doesn't play "funny" in the 'Law & Order' segment of Toobworld.....

BCnU!
Tele-Toby