AS SEEN ON TV: ANDY ROONEY II

ANDY ROONEY

AS SEEN ON:
'Saturday Night Live'

AS PLAYED BY:
Phil Hartman

From the SNL Transcripts page:

Don Pardo V/O: [over a graphic that reads: BLACK HISTORY MOMENT] NBC is proud to present another Black History Moment. And now ... Andy Rooney.

[Dissolve to elderly, gray-haired Andy Rooney, seated at the desk in his cluttered office, addressing the camera.]

Andy Rooney:
February's Black History Month in this great multicultural nation of ours. I think I know just a little bit about history because, at the moment, I AM history. But did you know that George Washington Carver, a black man, introduced the cultivation of peanuts to America? He also invented peanut butter. He was a wonderful man. And did you ever notice how peanut butter tastes better on dark bread? Dark beer is better, too. And black bean soup is much better than white bean. Dark is just better. And black is best. I'm Andy Rooney and I like black people. I really do. ... It's fags I hate.

BCnU!