SELF PORTRAITS

'Two And A Half Men' will launch their new season with a casting coup. This year's Oscar winner Sean Penn will be appearing as himself. This provides a link to 'Ellen' (the sitcom, not the talk show) in which Penn showed up to pay tribute to Emma Thompson. (And in the TV universe, Thompson is from Ohio, not England!)

Elvis Costello will also appear in the 'Two And A Half Men' opener. Like Penn, he appeared as himself in 'The Larry Sanders Show'. But he also has 'Third Rock From The Sun' to his credit, and he worked at a rock and roll fantasy camp in 'The Simpsons'.

Even though it's not so much fun to count talk shows and variety shows, Costello played a memorable set on 'Saturday Night Live' back in the '70s. And it was one of those times when you remembered why live TV could be so much fun!

There's another "self-portrait" in this year's season openers. 'My Wife And Kids' (the show, not my own) welcomes Michael Jordan as his own self. (Who else is he going to play at a basketball fantasy camp?)

Hmmmm..... Fantasy camps seem to be the place to meet celebs in the TV universe. Not everybody's going to get stuck in an ATM during a blackout with Jill Goodacre. Bada Bing, Chandler!

When it comes to "crossing Jordan", there's 'A Season On The Brink', the dramatized look at the life of Bobby Knight. But we also have to count the ads His Airness made for Haynes underwear.

Yes, those blipverts count, folks! Especially the one where the two girls are in the park guessing as to whether or not the passing guys are wearing boxers or briefs. The commercial may be less than a minute, but it tells a story so it's a legit piece to the cosmic puzzle.

BCnU!
Tele-Toby