It has long been the tradition here at Toobworld Central for the October inductee into the Crossover Hall of Fame to be somehow connected with horror, or just be horrible in general. Even when there were year-long themes, I found a way around that - like Frank Barone of 'Everybody Loves Raymond' and Kang the Klingon from 'Star Trek'. And that was all due to the month being the home of Halloween.
But October is also the month in which we celebrate the heritage and contributions of Italian-Americans. (If you feel it necessary to call it Columbus Day, feel free. I just don't think he deserves to be honored in connection with the ethnic pride of Italian-Americans.)
So since I'm using this year to catch up with the memorial inductees into the Hall, I thought I might finally tackle a thorny problem with an Italianate connection - how to splain away Guido Panzini.
GUIDO PANZINI
From Wikipedia:
Pat Harrington became famous in the 1950s as a member of Steve Allen's television comedy troupe, the "Men on the Street" (which also included Don Knotts, Tom Poston and Louis Nye). He made many appearances as the comedic Italian immigrant "Guido Panzini" on 'The Jack Paar Show' in the mid-1950s.
In a 1965 episode of 'The Man from U.N.C.L.E.' ("The Bow-Wow Affair"), Harrington reprised his role as "Guido Panzini" (whom he also played in the February 8, 1966 episode of 'McHale's Navy' and in the May 2, 1983 episode of 'One Day at a Time').
So the appearances of Guido Panzini split right down the middle - six shows in total, three involving comedy sketches and the other three in which Guido got involved in Toobworld adventures. So my easy splainin is that there are two Guido Panzinis - one in Skitlandia seen in the 1950s and the other one who lived in the main Toobworld.
However....
Although Guido appeared first in the main Toobworld in an episode of 'The Man From U.N.C.L.E.', on the Toobworld timeline he showed up first involved with the crew of the PT 73 during World War II. Twenty years later he was then seen dealing with the international spy agency. And about two decades after that, he was a fashion designer who bore an uncanny resemblance to Duane Schneider, a building super.
And yet he didn't seem to age significantly. In fact twenty years after World War II, he looked younger than he did during the Big One. (I'm thinking it was done with wigs, fake beards. and makeup.)
He also had a variety of jobs - he was a con man in Italy, an expert on dogs and a veterinarian to boot when Illya consulted with him, and as mentioned earlier, a fashion designer working with Ann Romano.
Although he was a confidence trickster during the war, I don't think he was just passing himself off with those other occupations. I think he had live long enough to gain a degree in veterinary medicine and then decided to try his hand at fashion.
Here's what I'm thinking - Guido Panzini was an immortal. And probably the Highlander kind.
This would splain away why Guido disappeared for long stretches of time. It was a combination of taking the time to learn a new trade, and also he was hiding from the other Immortals who were seeking to cut off his head to gain his immortal energies.
Guido Panzini was never seen again in the main Toobworld. And as Pat Harrington has passed away, I''m afraid it's not likely he ever will grace our screens again. In fact, I'm afraid that it's pozz'ble, just pozz'ble that Guido Panzini's luck finally ran out with the other Immortals......
Now even though I said Panzini was not seen again in Toobworld, I should qualify that as meaning he was never seen again under that name. Some of Harrington's other characters could have been Guido with an alias. (I would not be surprised if he also knew how to drop that accent when necessary.)
But I'm not going to work through the list to find some likely candidates. It would entail learning about those characters to see if they had back-stories which would disqualify them from consideration.
I will put forward this suggestion though - a theory of relateeveety. I know the Immortals were supposed to be rendered sterile by their transformation from being normal humans, but what if that was just a mistakenly held myth? What if they could procreate?
It would mean that a lot of characters in Toobworld who looked like Guido had inherited his strong telegenetics. And Guido could have been dipping the Panzini Pencil into some willing inkwells - no, wait. That metaphor doesn't work. No matter. I never metaphor I didn't like....
Anyhoo, Panzini was pretty free and easy with Li'l Guido throughout the ages, ever since he had been transformed. So nothing says that characters played by Harrington who lived in the past - like NY Examiner columnist Mitch McCully couldn't share the same father as those who were seen in more contemporary shows like Thomas Kitzmiller, the Vice President of Public Relations for the Oceanic International Oil corporation.
Anyhoo, Panzini was pretty free and easy with Li'l Guido throughout the ages, ever since he had been transformed. So nothing says that characters played by Harrington who lived in the past - like NY Examiner columnist Mitch McCully couldn't share the same father as those who were seen in more contemporary shows like Thomas Kitzmiller, the Vice President of Public Relations for the Oceanic International Oil corporation.
But they didn't inherit his immortal lifespan.....
And as a theory of relateeveety, there's another reason the Guido Panzini deserves membership. It might not actually be true, but who's to say so?
Here's a list of Guido Panzini's appearances in Skitlandia:
"The Steve Allen Plymouth Show"
1 episode (October, 1958)
"The Jack Paar Tonight Show"
13 episodes (November, 1958 - January 1961)
"Laugh Line"
Pilot episode (1959)
And then we have the immortal Guido Panzini of Earth Prime-Time:
"The Man from U.N.C.L.E."
- The Bow-Wow Affair (1965)
- The Bow-Wow Affair (1965)
"McHale's Navy"
- McHale's Country Club Caper (1966)
- McHale's Country Club Caper (1966)
"One Day At A Time"
- Panzini (1983)
And Guido exists in the audioverse as well.....
One of the first crossover enthusiasts I met online, Thom Holbrook, has an amazing archive of well-researched and indexed crossovers at his Spinoffs & Crossovers site. And he tackled the Panzini issue as well. You can read it by clicking here. (But I also suggest you dive in and sample other pages as well.)
So TWO Guido Panzinis enter the Hall today!
Benvenuto, Guido Panzini! E arrivederci......
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