AS SEEN ON TV: OSAMA BIN LADEN

OSAMA BIN LADEN

AS SEEN IN:
'Family Guy'

AS VOICED BY:
Seth MacFarlane

OSAMA BIN LADEN

AS SEEN IN:
'South Park'

AS VOICED BY:
Mohammed Babak

TV DIMENSION:
The Tooniverse
(Despite the differences in animation, these are both the same man.)

So Osama bin Laden goes straight to Hell and is greeted by the Devil himself. (If this had been Skitlandia, you could have referred to the Devil as "Toby".) The Devil offers to show the former head of Al Quaeda around, to see if there's a special place where a VIP such as himself would like to spend Eternity. (Which, as you know, is a very long time indeed.)

First they visit where Saddam Hussein is being held. Hussein is a fairly recent arrival and he's being dipped into a vat full of piranhas who eat away at his flesh until he's nothing but a skeleton. He's lifted out of the vat and his body is restored, only to be lowered into the vat once again.

"I do not want this to happen to me!" cries Osama.

The Devil takes him next to see Adolph Hitler. Hitler is strapped to a giant frying pan and he's sizzling like bacon while hot oil is dripped on his genitals. Eventually he is flipped over to fry the front of his body and that's when a red-hot poker is shoved up his ass.

"No! No! This is not the fate for me!" Osama begs.

Then the Devil takes him to a small alcove, where Nikita Kruschev is on a couch, pawing at the breasts of Marilyn Monroe. Every time he reaches for one, Marilyn swats his meaty digits away.

"Ah!" Osama sighs, nodding. "It may not be the 72 virgins I was expecting, but this will do nicely! I want this. I want Kruschev's Hell!"

"Oh, this isn't Kruschev's Hell," replied the Devil. "This is Marilyn Monroe's Hell........"

I realize I said that we'd be going through a spate of 'Edward The King' ASOTV showcases, but I couldn't pass up a chance to piss on Osama's corpse.

Roast in Hell, Osama!

Two for Tuesday!

BCnU!