THE TOOBITS AWARDS 2009 PART ONE

It's that time of year again, when we all make lists and think back over the past year, in whatever field of interest concerns us, and chronicle the high points and the lows. For the past few years I've been presenting this compilation as an awards show, the Toobits, which of course celebrates my two bits about Toobworld.As it is with any such list you may have found in TV columns across the country those last few weeks of 2009, these are my opinions. You're welcome to your own and I hope you'll share them, but I'm sticking to my weapons of choice. (It could be you won't see something that was a favorite of yours because I just never got around to seeing it. There's only so much time in the world - even for a do-nothing-else-anyway sort like me! - and I've only got the two eyes, even if they do operate independantly of each other at times.)

Unlike the Emmy Awards which will just keep handing out trophies to some shows forever, only shows, characters and what-not that debuted in 2009 can be considered. (And by "debuted", I mean that which I first came in contact with in 2009. It could be a few years old, but if it's my first time seeing it, it's new.) This one-time-ony rule includes characters who have been recast; those are still the same characters who already exist in Toobworld. (But there was a notable appearance that deserved honorable mention.....)

So without further ado, let's have at it:

BEST COINED WORDS and PHRASES
"citiot" - 'Royal Pains' (It refers to the City idiots who come out to the Hamptons each summer.)

RUNNERS-UP:
'magniflorious' - 'Better Off Ted'
"Full Frontal Nerdity" - 'Better Off Ted'
"Flu Ferrigno" - 'The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson'

BEST CRITIQUE BY AN ONLINE COMMENTER

RE: A TV SHOW
For the 'Nurse Jackie' episode "Nosebleed", as posted in Alan Sepinwall's blog "What's Alan Watching?":
Robert said...
Well now that she's unstuck in time and the nosebleeds have started, we know she doesn't have long to live on the island...oh wait.
RE: A TV COMMERCIAL
For the Capitol One ads, posted on Facebook:
Ray Brizzi said...
Where have you gone, Don Draper? Why would I want to go to a bank where 15 foot high pushpins fall out of the sky and stick in the concrete? Followed by some hoody looking guys saying "What's in your wallet?"
RE: TOOBWORLD PHILOSOPHY
For 'How I Met Your Mother', posted on Sepinwall's blog:
Bryan said.....
Maybe a minor point but a real pet peeve of mine- Barney standing up on the desk saying Captain my Captain was great - Ted explaining it by saying "wasn't 'Dead Poet Society' great?" is lame and very sitcom-ee. Just do the joke. If they get it, they get it; don't explain it.

BEST ZONK OF THE YEAR
'Curb Your Enthusiasm' - the 'Seinfeld' reunion
Sure, it screws up the solidity of the TV Universe, but how could you not love seeing a twisted view of that classic show's behind the scenes action? Besides, I'm thinking shows like 'Curb Your Enthusiasm', 'The Larry Sanders Show', and 'Extras' probably deserve to be scuttled off to their own TV dimension where they can't hurt anybody......
WORST ZONK OF THE YEAR
'Big Bang Theory' vs. 'The Sarah Conner Chronicles'
Unlike the shows mentioned above, neither of these two shows had show biz settings which would have been breeding grounds for Zonks. Theoretically, they should be in the same TV Universe. But meeting Summer Glau on the train really derailed that idea.....
BEST ZONK QUOTE OF THE YEAR:
Roman: It's all the color of Yale. You see?
Blair: That's just what I need to perk me up. I couldn't sleep a wink.
Roman: We know. We heard you watching "Gilmore Girls" all night. Again.
Blair: Oh. I am so better fit for Yale than this Rory.
(From 'Gossip Girl')

BEST CLASH BETWEEN TOOBWORLD & THE REAL WORLD
02/04/09: A man wielding a "Star Trek Klingon-type sword" (a bat'leth) robbed two Colorado Springs convenience stores.
WORST CLASH BETWEEN TOOBWORLD & THE REAL WORLD
There were misguided parents in the UK who wanted the BBC to fire Cerrie Burnell from 'The CBeebies'. Why? Because she was born with only one hand. They claimed it would frighten their pre-schoolers. Ugh.

WORST TV EXPERIENCE
Having to sit through reality shows like 'Hoarders' and 'Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares' with my friend Michael.....

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT IN A SHOW
Telecast of the Oscars and the Emmys because of their presentation of the "In Memoriam" segment. On both shows, the cameras weaved in and out as though the directors were thinking the audience wouldn't care to just watch a slideshow presentation of those actors and others in those respective media who passed away the year before. And so, most of the TV audience never even got to see Edie Adams lead off the tributes on the Emmy telecast because it was so far away!

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT IN A NETWORK
AKA "The Nibbled To Death By Ducks" award goes to The CW, for scheduling 'Reaper' as a sacrificial lamb against 'American Idol' in order to protect '90210'.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT IN THE GENERAL AUDIENCE
The failure of the viewers to appreciate 'Pushing Daisies'. This gem of a show was having a hard enough time because of network indifference; it could have used support from an audience who enjoy something different and well-made as well. Oh, that's right. that's an endangered species in America.....
BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT IN MYSELF
I never bothered to watch 'V'. I'll have to add it to the list of shows I'll one day get to: like 'Deadwood', 'Dexter', 'The Wire', 'Band of Brothers', 'Battlestar Galactica' and 'Rome'. (At least that one I now own.)

HONORARY MENTION
David Tennant ended his run as the Tenth Incarnation of the Time Lord on 'Doctor Who', an amazing five years of adventures which may have elevated him to the most favorite Doctor of all time for many. (He's still second to Patrick Troughton for me.) He'll be off on new adventures in Toobworld, 'Rex Is Not Your Lawyer' for example, but thanks to the introduction of the Chameleon Arch during his tenure, we might be able to think of those future roles as the Doctor in disguise! So that's it for this installment of the Toobits Awards, but fear not! Like those old intermission cards on the 'Tonight' show promised, "There's more to come". We're working backward in increments (There are so many!) until we reach the big prizes.

BCnU!