DENNY & KATE

Citizens of the Real World don't have to join the League of Themselves to have an impact in Toobworld; they don't even need a televersion to stand in for them "as seen on TV". Many times their lives are fictionalized in the Television Universe within the dialogue or by the actions of other characters.

For example, the ashes of venerable Chinese philosopher Confucius, who died in 479 B.C., were washed away down a Los Angeles sewer drain in 1968. ('The Outsider' - "As Cold As Ashes")

Egyptian President Anwar Sadat was assassinated by The Viper, once considered "The Deadliest Man Alive". (The Viper later met his match against 'Walker, Texas Ranger'.)

And this past week in the "Race Ipsa" episode on 'Boston Legal', we found out that Denny Crane allegedly made love to Kate Smith, the national treasure best known for singing "God Bless America".

I say "allegedly" because one never knows if Denny is telling the truth, boasting as though he was channeling Colonel McBragg, or experiencing addled memories due to his mad cow disease and/or Alzheimer's affliction.

But the picture he painted of the affair wasn't pretty, as he rhapsodized about making love to her mountains down to her prairies.

Didn't Kate Smith also sing "America The Beautiful"? Because Denny could have gone further, with a reference similar to one from 'The Sopranos' about "whistling through the wheat".

Or in Kate Smith's case, amber waves of grain.....

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

"Some men try to climb mountains.

Others just date them."

LOUIE DEPALMA

'TAXI'