Sunday, January 22, 2012

PBS - PLEADING BRETT SEGMENT


Speaking of Sherlock Holmes, here's a musty old PBS pledge break in which Jeremy Brett - THE Sherlock Holmes actor for Earth Prime-Time! - cajoled viewers like you to donate to their local public broadcasting station.


We celebrated Sherlock Holmes' birthday in the "As Seen On TV" showcase back on January 6th.....

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SKED ALERT - "ALCATRAZ"


Here's a look at what's coming up on 'Alcatraz', the best new entry in the world of Earth Prime-Time.....


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FROM RUSSIA WITH LESTRADE?


Even alternate TV dimensions have their own alternate TV dimensions.....

Years ago, I did a series of articles on the various portrayals of Sherlock Holmes on TV, including those from around the world. Just about all of them had to be relocated to other TV dimensions, so I figured it made sense that those versions of the Great Detective which were in foreign languages must have been located in TV dimensions in which their home country had dominated that particular Earth.

With the Spanish version of Sherlock Holmes, it would be set in a TV dimension in which the Spanish Armada had been triumphant and so Spain went on to conquer the world. In the German version, there was no need for World Wars I & II because the Germans had dominated the Earth perhaps centuries before.

Then there's the Russian version of the mid-1980's that went on to great acclaim both in the Soviet Union and Great Britain as well. The Russian actor who portrayed Holmes was even honored for his work by the British. In that TV dimension, the Russians expanded their empire to cover the globe and so everybody's common tongue was that of Russian.

Word comes now that there will be a new version of 'Sherlock Holmes' in Russia, perhaps even mirroring 'Sherlock' in its modern setting. (I'm not clear on that point, however.) If it is also set during Victorian times, then we have to relegate it to an off-shoot of that original Russian TV dimension, which at some point deviated from the established timeline after the Russian conquest of the world. But if it is a modern setting, then we can follow the same lead as done with 'Sherlock' - It would take place in Limbo, where the soul of Sherlock Holmes dwells to guide new Doctor Watsons on their journey through the after-life. (As an off-shoot from the main Toobworld, Earth Prime-Time, the main Limbo is also home to 'Life On Mars' [UK], 'Ashes To Ashes', the final season of 'Lost', and the TV adaptation of the movie 'Madigan'.)

Anyhoo, here's the news story about this new Russian production of 'Sherlock Holmes'....


BCnU!

"TALES OF LITTLE WOMEN"


When I thought of "Little Women" as a theme for the 2012 "As Seen On TV" showcase for literary characters, the first thing I remembered was this sketch from 'Saturday Night Live'.  In the realm of Skitlandia, it could be seen as taking place in the same milieu as the novel by Louisa May Alcott.

It remains one of my favorite sketches of all time from that show, and I think it can be mostly credited to the exuberant performance of Chris Farley as Toby Adams...


BCnU!

AS SEEN ON TV: "LITTLE WOMEN"


THE MARCH WOMEN

AS SEEN IN:
'Little Women'

AS PLAYED BY:
Meg - Meredith Baxter Birney
Jo - Susan Dey
Amy - Ann Dusenberry
Beth - Eve Plumb
Marmee March - Dorothy McGuire

TV DIMENSION:
Earth Prime-Time

CREATED BY:
Louisa May Alcott

From Wikipedia:
"Little Women" is a novel by American author Louisa May Alcott (1832–1888). The book was written and set in the Alcott family home, Orchard House, in Concord, Massachusetts. It was published in two volumes in 1868 and 1869. The novel follows the lives of four sisters – Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy March – and is loosely based on the author's childhood experiences with her three sisters. The first volume "Little Women" was an immediate commercial and critical success, prompting the composition of the book's second volume titled "Good Wives", which was successful as well. The publication of the book as a single volume first occurred in 1880 and was titled "Little Women". Alcott followed "Little Women" with two sequels, also featuring the March sisters, "Little Men" (1871) and "Jo's Boys" (1886).

From the source:
"Christmas won't be Christmas without any presents," grumbled Jo, lying on the rug.

"It's so dreadful to be poor!" sighed Meg, looking down at her old dress.

"I don't think it's fair for some girls to have plenty of pretty things, and other girls nothing at all," added little Amy, with an injured sniff.

"We've got Father and Mother, and each other," said Beth contentedly from her corner.

The four young faces on which the firelight shone brightened at the cheerful words, but darkened again as Jo said sadly, "We haven't got Father, and shall not have him for a long time." She didn't say "perhaps never," but each silently added it, thinking of Father far away, where the fighting was.

BCnU!

Saturday, January 21, 2012

MOBY DICK STAND-INS

Tex Texeira, a co-worker and FB friend, has suggested this final piece for my salute to "Moby Dick" -

The general theme of the novel, with its focus of vengeful obsession over an "animal" which has left one scarred, has been used several times in TV and movies.

Here are a few examples:

"The Age Of The Dragons"

'Star Trek'
"Obsession"


"The Doomsday Machine"

'Star Trek: The Next Generation'
"The Crystalline Entity"

I'm sure there are more that I haven't thought of.  I think there was a giant rat (which could have been half-cockroach) which bedevilled Martin Tupper in 'Dream On'.....

BCnU!

BARKING MAD!

I will admit that had it not been for the ATAT whippet, I might not have figured out the music.  (Although that lone wookie woof should have been a give-away.)  My geekdom is slipping....



By the way, that tan, scruffy mutt in the last row on the left looks a lot like my brother AJ's dog Archie.....

BCnU!

FATHER MAPPLE'S SERMON - THE VIDEOS


I realize it's not the Video Weekend, but since we're featuring Father Mapple in the "ASOTV" showcase.....

Here are two interpretations of Father Mapple's sermon in "Moby Dick". I'm not including Donald Sutherland's version from the remake because it was delivered in a conversational style that was just wrong for the deliverance of sermons in those days.

First up, this is from the Cineverse, from John Huston's movie with Orson Welles as Father Mapple:


Sorry about the sound quality on that.  Of the two clips available on YouTube, both had the same problem.  But at least this version carried the sermon to its conclusion.

And this is from the first TV production in 1998, with Gregory Peck as the preacher.


(In that earlier movie from the 1950's, Peck played Captain Ahab.)

BCnU!

THE SERMON OF FATHER MAPPLE

The preacher slowly turned over the leaves of the Bible, and at last, folding his hand down upon the proper page, said: ‘Beloved shipmates, clinch the last verse of the first chapter of Jonah — “And God had prepared a great fish to swallow up Jonah.”‘Shipmates, this book, containing only four chapters — four yarns — is one of the smallest strands in the mighty cable of the Scriptures. Yet what depths of the soul does Jonah’s deep sealine sound! what a pregnant lesson to us is this prophet! What a noble thing is that canticle in the fish’s belly! How billow- like and boisterously grand! We feel the floods surging over us; we sound with him to the kelpy bottom of the waters; sea-weed and all the slime of the sea is about us! But what is this lesson that the book of Jonah teaches? Shipmates, it is a two- stranded lesson; a lesson to us all as sinful men, and a lesson to me as a pilot of the living God. As sinful men, it is a lesson to us all, because it is a story of the sin, hard-heartedness, suddenly awakened fears, the swift punishment, repentance, prayers, and finally the deliverance and joy of Jonah. As with all sinners among men, the sin of this son of Amittai was in his wilful disobedience of the command of God — never mind now what that command was, or how conveyed — which he found a hard command. But all the things that God would have us do are hard for us to do — remember that — and hence, he oftener commands us than endeavors to persuade. And if we obey God, we must disobey ourselves; and it is in this disobeying ourselves, wherein the hardness of obeying God consists.

‘With this sin of disobedience in him, Jonah still further flouts at God, by seeking to flee from Him. He thinks that a ship made by men, will carry him into countries where God does not reign, but only the Captains of this earth. He skulks about the wharves of Joppa, and seeks a ship that’s bound for Tarshish. There lurks, perhaps, a hitherto unheeded meaning here. By all accounts Tarshish could have been no other city than the modern Cadiz. That’s the opinion of learned men. And where is Cadiz, shipmates? Cadiz is in Spain; as far by water, from Joppa, as Jonah could possibly have sailed in those ancient days, when the Atlantic was an almost unknown sea. Because Joppa, the modern Jaffa, shipmates, is on the most easterly coast of the Mediterranean, the Syrian; and Tarshish or Cadiz more than two thousand miles to the westward from that, just outside the Straits of Gibraltar. See ye not then, shipmates, that Jonah sought to flee world-wide from God? Miserable man! Oh! most contemptible and worthy of all scorn; with slouched hat and guilty eye, skulking from his God; prowling among the shipping like a vile burglar hastening to cross the seas. So disordered, self-condemning is his look, that had there been policemen in those days, Jonah, on the mere suspicion of something wrong, had been arrested ere he touched a deck. How plainly he’s a fugitive! no baggage, not a hat-box, valise, or carpet-bag, — no friends accompany him to the wharf with their adieux. At last, after much dodging search, he finds the Tarshish ship receiving the last items of her cargo; and as he steps on board to see its Captain in the cabin, all the sailors for the moment desist from hoisting in the goods, to mark the stranger’s evil eye. Jonah sees this; but in vain he tries to look all ease and confidence; in vain essays his wretched smile. Strong intuitions of the man assure the mariners he can be no innocent. In their gamesome but still serious way, one whispers to the other — “Jack, he’s robbed a widow;” or,”Joe, do you mark him; he’s a bigamist;” or,”Harry lad, I guess he’s the adulterer that broke jail in old Gomorrah, or belike, one of the missing murderers from Sodom.” Another runs to read the bill that’s stuck against the spile upon the wharf to which the ship is moored, offering five hundred gold coins for the apprehension of a parricide, and containing a description of his person. He reads, and looks from Jonah to the bill; while all his sympathetic shipmates now crowd round Jonah, prepared to lay their hands upon him. Frighted Jonah trembles, and summoning all his boldness to his face, only looks so much the more a coward. He will not confess himself suspected; but that itself is strong suspicion. So he makes the best of it; and when the sailors find him not to be the man that is advertised, they let him pass, and he descends into the cabin.

‘”Who’s there?” cries the Captain at his busy desk, hurriedly making out his papers for the Customs — “Who’s there?” Oh! how that harmless question mangles Jonah! For the instant he almost turns to flee again. But he rallies. “I seek a passage in this ship to Tarshish; how soon sail ye, sir?” Thus far the busy captain had not looked up to Jonah, though the man now stands before him; but no sooner does he hear that hollow voice, than he darts a scrutinizing glance. “We sail with the next coming tide,” at last he slowly answered, still intently eyeing him. “No sooner, sir?” — “Soon enough for any honest man that goes a passenger.” Ha! Jonah, that’s another stab. But he swiftly calls away the Captain from that scent. “I’ll sail with ye,” — he says, — “the passage money, how much is that, — I’ll pay now.” For it is particularly written, shipmates, as if it were a thing not to be overlooked in this history,”that he paid the fare thereof” ere the craft did sail. And taken with the context, this is full of meaning.

‘Now Jonah’s Captain, shipmates, was one whose discernment detects crime in any, but whose cupidity exposes it only in the penniless. In this world, shipmates, sin that pays its way can travel freely, and without a passport; whereas Virtue, if a pauper, is stopped at all frontiers. So Jonah’s Captain prepares to test the length of Jonah’s purse, ere he judge him openly. He charges him thrice the usual sum; and it’s assented to. Then the Captain knows that Jonah is a fugitive; but at the same time resolves to help a flight that paves its rear with gold. Yet when Jonah fairly takes out his purse, prudent suspicions still molest the Captain. He rings every coin to find a counterfeit. Not a forger, any way, he mutters; and Jonah is put down for his passage. “Point out my state-room, Sir,” says Jonah now. “I’m travel-weary; I need sleep.” “Thou look’st like it,” says the Captain, “there’s thy room.” Jonah enters, and would lock the door, but the lock contains no key. Hearing him foolishly fumbling there, the Captain laughs lowly to himself, and mutters something about the doors of convicts’ cells being never allowed to be locked within. All dressed and dusty as he is, Jonah throws himself into his berth, and finds the little state-room ceiling almost resting on his forehead. The air is close, and Jonah gasps. then, in that contracted hole, sunk, too, beneath the ship’s water-line, Jonah feels the heralding presentiment of that stifling hour, when the whale shall hold him in the smallest of his bowel’s wards.

‘Screwed at its axis against the side, a swinging lamp slightly oscillates in Jonah’s room; and the ship, heeling over towards the wharf with the weight of the last bales received, the lamp, flame and all, though in slight motion, still maintains a permanent obliquity with reference to the room; though, in truth, infallibly straight itself, it but made obvious the false, lying levels among which it hung. The lamp alarms and frightens Jonah; as lying in his berth his tormented eyes roll round the place, and this thus far successful fugitive finds no refuge for his restless glance. But that contradiction in the lamp more and more appals him. The floor, the ceiling, and the side, are all awry. “Oh! so my conscience hangs in me!” he groans, “straight upward, so it burns; but the chambers of my soul are all in crookedness!”

‘Like one who after a night of drunken revelry hies to his bed, still reeling, but with conscience yet pricking him, as the plungings of the Roman race- horse but so much the more strike his steel tags into him; as one who in that miserable plight still turns and turns in giddy anguish, praying God for annihilation until the fit be passed; and at last amid the whirl of woe he feels, a deep stupor steals over him, as over the man who bleeds to death, for conscience is the wound, and there’s naught to staunch it; so, after sore wrestlings in his berth, Jonah’s prodigy of ponderous misery drags him drowning down to sleep.

‘And now the time of tide has come; the ship casts off her cables; and from the deserted wharf the uncheered ship for Tarshish, all careening, glides to sea. That ship, my friends, was the first of recorded smugglers! the contraband was Jonah. but the sea rebels; he will not bear the wicked burden. A dreadful storm comes on, the ship is like to break. But now when the boatswain calls all hands to lighten her; when boxes, bales, and jars are clattering overboard; when the wind is shrieking, and the men are yelling, and every plank thunders with trampling feet right over Jonah’s head; in all this raging tumult, Jonah sleeps his hideous sleep. He sees no black sky and raging sea, feels not the reeling timbers, and little hears he or heeds he the far rush of the mighty whale, which even now with open mouth is cleaving the seas after him. Aye, shipmates, Jonah was gone down into the sides of the ship — a berth in the cabin as I have taken it, and was fast asleep. But the frightened master comes to him, and shrieks in his dead ear, “What meanest thou, O sleeper! arise!” Startled from his lethargy by that direful cry, Jonah staggers to his feet, and stumbling to the deck, grasps a shroud, to look out upon the sea. But at that moment he is sprung upon by a panther billow leaping over the bulwarks. Wave after wave thus leaps into the ship, and finding no speedy vent runs roaring fore and aft, till the mariners come nigh to drowning while yet afloat. And ever, as the white moon shows her affrighted face from the steep gullies in the blackness overhead, aghast Jonah sees the rearing bowsprit pointing high upward, but soon beat downward again towards the tormented deep.

‘Terrors upon terrors run shouting through his soul. In all his cringing attitudes, the God-fugitive is now too plainly known. The sailors mark him; more and more certain grow their suspicions of him, and at last, fully to test the truth, by referring the whole matter to high Heaven, they fall to casting lots, to see for whose cause this great tempest was upon them. The lot is Jonah’s; that discovered, then how furiously they mob him with their questions. “What is thine occupation? whence comest thou? thy country? what people?” but mark now, my shipmates, the behavior of poor Jonah. The eager mariners but ask him who he is, and where from; whereas, they not only receive an answer to those questions, but likewise another answer to a question not put by them, but the unsolicited answer is forced from Jonah by the hard hand of God that is upon him.

‘”I am a Hebrew,” he cries — and then — “I fear the Lord the God of Heaven who hath made the sea and the dry land!” Fear him, O Jonah? Aye, well mightest thou fear the Lord God then! Straightway, he now goes on to make a full confession; whereupon the mariners became more and more appalled, but still are pitiful. For when Jonah, not yet supplicating God for mercy, since he but too well knew the darkness of his deserts, — when wretched Jonah cries out to them to take him and cast him forth into the sea, for he knew that for his sake this great tempest was upon them; they mercifully turn from him, and seek by other means to save the ship. But all in vain; the indignant gale howls louder; then, with one hand raised invokingly to God, with the other they not unreluctantly lay hold of Jonah.

‘And now behold Jonah taken up as an anchor and dropped into the sea; when instantly an oily calmness floats out from the east, and the sea is still, as Jonah carries down the gale with him, leaving smooth water behind. He goes down in the whirling heart of such a masterless commotion that he scarce heeds the moment when he drops seething into the yawning jaws awaiting him; and the whale shoots-to all his ivory teeth, like the Lord out of the fish’s belly. But observe his prayer, and so many white bolts, upon his prison. Then Jonah prayed unto learn a weighty lesson. For sinful as he is, Jonah does not weep and wail for direct deliverance. He feels that his dreadful punishment is just. He leaves all his deliverance to God, contenting himself with this, that spite of all his pains and pangs, he will still look towards His holy temple. And here, shipmates, is true and faithful repentance; not clamorous for pardon, but grateful for punishment. And how pleasing to God was this conduct in Jonah, is shown in the eventual deliverance of him from the sea and the whale. Shipmates, I do not place Jonah before you to be copied for his sin but I do place him before you as a model for repentance. Sin not; but if you do, take heed to repent of it like Jonah.’

While he was speaking these words, the howling of the shrieking, slanting storm without seemed to add new power to the preacher, who, when describing Jonah’s sea-storm, seemed tossed by a storm himself. His deep chest heaved as with a ground-swell; his tossed arms seemed the warring elements at work; and the thunders that rolled away from off his swarthy brow, and the light leaping from his eye, made all his simple hearers look on him with a quick fear that was strange to them.

There now came a lull in his look, as he silently turned over the leaves of the Book once more; and, at last, standing motionless, with closed eyes, for the moment, seemed communing with God and himself.

But again he leaned over towards the people, and bowing his head lowly, with an aspect of the deepest yet manliest humility, he spake these words: ‘Shipmates, God has laid but one hand upon you; both his hands press upon me. I have read ye by what murky light may be mine the lesson that Jonah teaches to all sinners; and therefore to ye, and still more to me, for I am a greater sinner than ye. And now how gladly would I come down from this mast-head and sit on the hatches there where you sit, and listen as you listen, while some one of you reads me that other and more awful lesson which Jonah teaches to me as a pilot of the living God. How being an anointed pilot-prophet, or speaker of true things, and bidden by the Lord to sound those unwelcome truths in the ears of a wicked Nineveh, Jonah, appalled at the hostility he should raise, fled from his mission, and sought to escape his duty and his God by taking ship at Joppa. But God is everywhere; Tarshish he never reached. As we have seen, God came upon him in the whale, and swallowed him down to living gulfs of doom, and with swift slantings tore him along”into the midst of the seas,” where the eddying depths sucked him ten thousand fathoms down, and”the weeds were wrapped about his head,” and all the watery world of woe bowled over him. Yet even then beyond the reach of any plummet — “out of the belly of hell” — when the whale grounded upon the ocean’s utmost bones, even then, God heard the engulphed, repenting prophet when he cried. Then God spake unto the fish; and from the shuddering cold and blackness of the sea, the whale came breeching up towards the warm and pleasant sun, and all the delights of air and earth; and”vomited out Jonah upon the dry land;” when the word of the Lord came a second time; and Jonah, bruised and beaten — his ears, like two sea-shells, still multitudinously murmuring of the ocean — Jonah did the Almighty’s bidding. And what was that, shipmates? To preach the Truth to the face of Falsehood! That was it!

‘This, shipmates, this is that other lesson; and woe to that pilot of the living God who slights it. Woe to him whom this world charms from Gospel duty! Woe to him who seeks to pour oil upon the waters when God has brewed them into a gale! Woe to him who seeks to please rather than to appal! Woe to him whose good name is more to him than goodness! Woe to him who, in this world, courts not dishonor! Woe to him who would not be true, even though to be false were salvation! Yea, woe to him who, as the great Pilot Paul has it, while preaching to others is himself a castaway!’

He drooped and fell away from himself for a moment; then lifting his face to them again, showed a deep joy in his eyes, as he cried out with a heavenly enthusiasm, — ‘But oh! shipmates! on the starboard hand of every woe, there is a sure delight; and higher the top of that delight, than the bottom of the woe is deep. Is not the main-truck higher than the kelson is low? Delight is to him — a far, far upward, and inward delight — who against the proud gods and commodores of this earth, ever stands forth his own inexorable self. Delight is to him whose strong arms yet support him, when the ship of this base treacherous world has gone down beneath him. Delight is to him, who gives no quarter in the truth, and kills, burns, and destroys all sin though he pluck it out from under the robes of Senators and Judges. Delight, — top-gallant delight is to him, who acknowledges no law or lord, but the Lord his God, and is only a patriot to heaven. Delight is to him, whom all the waves of the billows of the seas of the boisterous mob can never shake from this sure Keel of the Ages. And eternal delight and deliciousness will be his, who coming to lay him down, can say with his final breath — O Father! — chiefly known to me by Thy rod — mortal or immortal, here I die. I have striven to be Thine, more than to be this world’s, or mine own. Yet this is nothing; I leave eternity to Thee; for what is man that he should live out the lifetime of his God?’

He said no more, but slowly waving a benediction, covered his face with his hands, and so remained kneeling, till all the people had departed, and he was left alone in the place.
- written by Herman Melville

AS SEEN ON TV: FATHER MAPPLE

FATHER MAPPLE

AS SEEN IN:
"Moby Dick"

AS PLAYED BY:
Donald Sutherland

TV DIMENSION:
Land of Remakes

STATUS:
Recastaway

CREATED BY:
Herman Melville

Father Mapple, the famous preacher, was once a sailor and a harpooner, but had dedicated his life to the ministry for several years. Father Mapple enjoys a wide reputation for sincerity and sanctity, so Ishmael cannot suspect him of any mere stage tricks. On the front of the pulpit is the likeness of a ship's bluff bows and the Holy Bible rested on a projecting piece of scroll work, fashioned after a ship's fiddle-headed beak. Ishmael wonders what the meaning could be, for the pulpit is the earth's foremost part; all the rest comes from in its rear, and the pulpit leads the world. According to Ishmael, "the world's a ship on its passage out, and not a voyage complete, and the pulpit is its prow."

From the source:
Father Mapple rose, and in a mild voice of unassuming authority ordered the scattered people to condense. ‘Starboard gangway, there! side away to larboard — larboard gangway to starboard! Midships! midships!’

There was a low rumbling of heavy sea-boots among the benches, and a still slighter shuffling of women’s shoes, and all was quiet again, and every eye on the preacher.


He paused a little; then kneeling in the pulpit’s bows, folded his large brown hands across his chest, uplifted his closed eyes, and offered a prayer so deeply devout that he seemed kneeling and praying at the bottom of the sea.


This ended, in prolonged solemn tones, like the continual tolling of a bell in a ship that is foundering at sea in a fog — in such tones he commenced reading the following hymn; but changing his manner towards the concluding stanzas, burst forth with a pealing exultation and joy –


‘The ribs and terrors in the whale,

Arched over me a dismal gloom,
While all God’s sun-lit waves rolled by,
And lift me deepening down to doom.
‘I saw the opening maw of hell,
With endless pains and sorrows there;
Which none but they that feel can tell —
Oh, I was plunging to despair.
‘In black distress, I called my God,
When I could scarce believe him mine,
He bowed his ear to my complaints —
No more the whale did me confine.
With speed he flew to my relief,
As on a radiant dolphin borne;
Awful, yet bright, as lightning shone
The face of my Deliverer God.
‘My song for ever shall record
That terrible, that joyful hour;
I give the glory to my God,
His all the mercy and the power.’

Nearly all joined in singing this hymn, which swelled high above the howling of the storm.

BCnU!