TOOBWORLD'S TAKE: "MELROSE PLACE"

Here there be spoilers from the pilot episode of the 'Melrose Place' sequel........
I never saw a single episode of the original 'Melrose Place' series, but I watched the premiere of the new, updated version. The "Pilot" brought back Sydney Andrews and Dr. Michael Mancini from the original - at least long enough to help launch the reboot. (Laura Leighton looks to be only around for that one shot, but she could return in flashbacks. Thomas Calabro is listed for two episodes, but as one of the new characters is his son, he could be recurring.)

Okay, I'm going to state it up front and out loud about the big twist in this episode - Sydney Andrews was murdered, her body seen floating in the building's pool face down in her own blood. I gotta admit - it made for a great visual to hook viewers... just not this one.
Bringing in established characters to help launch a new series is nothing new, and it's a great boon for Toobworld in making the links between shows official. They help to set the scene and introduce other characters (like George Jefferson checking on his niece at the Chicago 'E/R' where she worked), and then they go away to let the fledgling soar or crash on its own.

But this time, they brought in Sydney Andrews from the relative safety of off-screen immortality only to kill her off in the first ten minutes of the pilot! Cujones, bruthah!

I tried to think of any other previous instance in which something similar happened and I could only come up with a few examples. The last one would have been Miles Drentell - a recurring Prince of Darkness on 'thirtySOMETHING', he returned for a few episodes of 'Once & Again'. Eventually his character got sick and passed away.
Then there was former San Francisco police detective Steve Keller. He retired from the force before 'The Streets Of San Francisco' had run its course, only to turn up dead 17 years later in a sequel movie.

I suppose "Star Trek: The Wrath Of Khan" counts as an example as well, since one-shot villain Khan Noonian Singh returned to be the nemesis of the film, which really jump-started the franchise. And he went out in a blaze of glory that established him as one of the biggest and best movie villains of all time. (My opinion, O'Bviously!)

Let me know if you can think of any other examples.

So that was the only reason I decided to watch the new 'Melrose Place', just for its Toobworldian novelty; I don't see any reason why I should come back. As is the case with 'The Vampire Diaries', this isn't the demographic for me. And I doubt there'll be anything else on this show that will have any major impact on the TV Universe, so there's no need to even monitor the episode guides for televisiological purposes.

BCnU!

TOOBWORLD'S TAKE: "THE VAMPIRE DIARIES"

I watched the series premiere of 'The Vampire Diaries' on the CW and for me, it's a case of "one and done". I am just not in the right demographic for this series. (When I saw "Twilight" in the theater, I squirmed in my seat as if I was being tortured - at least until the baseball game scene.) If it sliced away all the ancillary teen angst crap and focused on the centuries-long feud between the brothers Damon and Stephan, then I might have stayed longer.

But at the same time, if they did that, they would lose their biggest potential for an audience. 'The Vampire Diaries' may not be for me, but I think it's going to be hugely popular with the young ladies in the audience, the target demo.

But I'm happy for Ian Somerhalder who's playing eternally-young bad boy Damon. I'm hoping this won't affect any chance he could come back to 'Lost' at some point during the final season, because I would prefer to see him as Boone. However, it's nice to know that he's on to bigger - if not necessarily better - roles.

I'll probably still follow along via episode guide recaps, just for Toobworld's sake. As things stood in the pilot, the artificial blood substitute drink Tru-Blood may have been introduced into this little patch o' TV Land known as Mystic Falls, Virginia. But that doesn't mean vampires have to live openly as such.

As this is the type of show that will probably have plenty of "current" pop culture references (One of the characters claims to have predicted "Obama and Heath Ledger".), we have no choice but to consider it as contemporary on the Toobworld timeline. So the events of 'True Blood' are already underway. Stephan may be using Tru-Blood to supplement his choice of nourishment from animal life rather than from humans, but that doesn't mean we have to see him doing so. Damon, on the other hand, looks as though he revels in the dark side of the vampiric "life" and has no qualms about still hunting humans to slake his thirst.

If anything else comes along to challenge the show's residency in the main Toobworld, hopefully the episode guides for 'The Vampire Diaries' will give me a head's-up so that I might find a way to disable the Zonk.....

BCnU!

NERWICH?

This reminded me of Letterman's old routine about "The Shame Of The City":

And they have the nerve to sell it!

BCnU!

AS SEEN ON TV: ISADORA DUNCAN

Today marks the 82nd anniversary of the death of Isadora Duncan.....

ISADORA DUNCAN

AS SEEN IN:
"Isadora Duncan: The Biggest Dancer In The World"

AS PLAYED BY:
Vivian Pickles

Isadora Duncan (May 26, 1877 – September 14, 1927) was an American dancer. She was born Angela Isadora Duncan in San Francisco, California. Isadora Duncan is considered by many to be the mother of modern dance. Although popular in the United States only in New York later in her life, she entertained throughout Europe.

Duncan's fondness for flowing scarves which trailed behind her was the cause of her death in a freak automobile accident in Nice, France, on the night of September 14, 1927, at the age of 50. The scarf was hand-painted silk from the Russian-born artist Roman Chatov. The accident gave rise to Gertrude Stein's mordant remark that "affectations can be dangerous."

Duncan was a passenger in the Amilcar automobile of a handsome French-Italian mechanic, Benoît Falchetto, whom she had nicknamed "Buggatti" (sic). Before getting into the car, she said to a friend, Mary Desti (mother of 1940s Hollywood writer-director Preston Sturges), and some companions, "Adieu, mes amis. Je vais à la gloire!" ("Goodbye, my friends, I am off to glory!").

However, according to the diaries of the American novelist Glenway Wescott, who was in Nice at the time and visited Duncan's body in the morgue (his diaries are in the Beinecke Library at Yale University), Desti admitted that she had lied about Duncan's last words. Instead, she told Wescott, the dancer actually said, "Je vais à l'amour" ("I am off to love"), which Desti considered too embarrassing to go down in history as the legend's final utterance, especially as it suggested that Duncan hoped that she and Falchetto were going to her hotel for a sexual assignation.
Whatever her actual last words, when Falchetto drove off, Duncan's immense handpainted silk scarf—a gift from Desti that was large enough to wrap around her body and neck and flutter out of the car, became entangled around one of the vehicle's open-spoked wheels and rear axle. As The New York Times noted in its obituary of the dancer on September 15, 1927, "Isadora Duncan, the American dancer, tonight met a tragic death at Nice on the Riviera. According to dispatches from Nice Miss Duncan was hurled in an extraordinary manner from an open automobile in which she was riding and instantly killed by the force of her fall to the stone pavement." Other sources describe her death as resulting from strangulation, noting that she was almost decapitated by the sudden tightening of the scarf around her neck.

Isadora Duncan was cremated, and her ashes were placed next to those of her beloved children in the columbarium at Père Lachaise Cemetery in Paris.[from Wikipedia]

BCnU!

A REMOTE CHANCE IN HELL?

Recently - at least here in NYC - Time Warner Cable made some adjustments to their system. They juggled a few channels, which I didn't mind; that's just a matter of memorization. But they also "upgraded" the DVR system and there were a lot of things they changed that didn't need fixin'!

So I wrote to them......

I don't mind the channel changes; it'll be easy enough to remember CNN is on 78 and not 10once I use it enough, for example.

My complaint is with the new DVR "upgrade". It's slower and doesn't stop soon enough when fast-forwarding and it "skips" ahead too far when you rewind to a certain point. Also, I miss the actual amount of time spent on a program shown (for example: 00:45) because I could gauge exactly how much time I had left to watch. That little arrow on the bar just doesn't cut it; we need more info!

The description of the shows recorded also used to show how long it was. Now it only shows what time it started, which isn't of any use once it's been recorded. I think people would rather know how long the program is.

I do like the percentage given of how much space is used up, however. And once I get used to it, I'm sure the new prompts will be easier to use than the old system. But if you could retrograde those two time situations, that would be great.

It's been a week and finally, here was their response:

Thank you for your recent message to Time Warner Cable.We appreciate that you have taken the time to share your comments, and we can assure you that your comments and suggestions are not going unnoticed.

While some features you may be accustomed to with the older model cable boxes under the older interfaces are not currently included, this interface is designed to more readily accommodate new features in future upgrades.

For more information about the new Navigator guide, please visit our Website and select Learn-Digital Cable-Navigator On screen Guide . Or you can go directly to:

http://www.timewarnercable.com/nynj/learn/cable/navigator/default.html

We thank you for taking the time to let us know your thoughts.

So if there's room for improvement in the future, I'll just wait and see if any of my ideas are considered.....

BCnU!

A NUMBER SO NOTORIOUS

'so noTORIous', which was a fictionalized look at the life of Tori Spelling, made contact with 'Lost' via "The Numbers"..... BCnU!

PASSAGES

2009 will go down as a year in which we lost a lot of TV giants - Cronkite, McGoohan, Fawcett, McMahon, Montalban, DeLuise, Novak, Hewitt, Bea Arthur. And a lot who may have been giants in other fields, but still had ties to the world of the Toob: John Mortimer, Michael Jackson, Dominick Dunne, Frank McCourt, Philip Jose Farmer, Budd Schulberg, John Hughes, and I'd even add Senator Ted Kennedy in there. Plus so many others.

A few more from the last few days:

ARMY ARCHERD - Hollywood columnist whose work appeared in Daily Variety for fifty years. If there's any one story for which he'll probably be long remembered, it's most likely because he's the one who broke the story about Rock Hudson's illness in 1985.

Army Archerd has long been on the list for eventual induction into the TV Crossover Hall Of Fame as he appeared in quite a few dramas and sitcoms, like 'Columbo', as himself. Over the course of this year, I've been thinking that I may just devote 2010 as the Year of the League Of Themselves for the Hall, and Army would definitely, finally make his entrance.

WAYNE TIPPIT - A character actor who'll probably be best remembered by TV audiences for his work on the original 'Melrose Place' as Palmer Woodward. He also is another in a long line of J. Edgar Hoovers in Toobworld. (He played the role twice on 'Dark Skies'.) But for me, it was three episodes of 'The Rockford Files', in which he played FBI Agent Dan Shore, for which I'll always remember him. Perhaps not a giant, but the Citizenry of Toobworld is poorer for his loss......

MIKE BONGIORNO - The name probably means nothing to my American audience, but over in Italy, he was known as that country's "Quiz King". He may have been on the same level as Bob Barker when it comes to the popularity of TV game show hosts.

LARRY GELBART - I can't remember now, what with all of the tributes I've been reading online, where I saw him described as such, but Gelbart was called the Mozart of Comedy Writing. Click off just three credits, and he would be considered a giant - the TV version of 'M*A*S*H', "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum", and "Caesar's Hour". (I'm still unclear if he worked for "Your Show Of Shows" or not. Over the last two days, I've seen conflicting reports.) But there was so much more - I'd love the chance to see "Mastergate" again!

Every so often, someone dies and I feel the task of crafting the appropriate "Hat Squad" tribute to be too daunting. Larry Gelbart is one such legend. So instead, allow me to point you towards the tributes by several of my blogmates:

Mark Evanier

Ivan G. Shreve, Jr.

Tony Figueroa

And one always to be counted on, Mercurie

Ken Levine, who knew Gelbart from the 'MASH' days, will have his remembrance up by Sunday night. I'll post a quick notice of that with the link when it's available......

Good night and may God bless them all.

BCnU......

AS SEEN ON TV: FRANCIS SCOTT KEY

On this date in 1814, the British failed to capture Baltimore, Maryland, which proved to be the turning point in the War of 1812. Seeing how Fort McHenry survived the siege by the British during the night and fought them off to keep flying the American flag, Francis Scott Key wrote "The Star-Spangled Banner" to memorialize the event.

FRANCIS SCOTT KEY

AS SEEN IN:
'Voyagers!'

AS PLAYED BY:
Andy Wood

However, we might never have learned of the "poem", had young time traveller Jeffrey Jones not found the original copy in the streets of Baltimore after Key dropped it and returned it to its author..... BCnU!

BLOOD WILL OUT

Last week I watched the latest three episodes of 'True Blood' with good buddy NYMarkie. These eps had piled up over my vacation, and seeing them in a mini-marathon helped stoke my enthusiasm for the finale tomorrow night.

Seeing it with Mark also gave me a new perspective on what was happening in Bon Temps within the reality of Toobworld. It was Mark who pointed out to me that if Eric could now sense where Sookie was and how she was feeling because she drank his blood, then why doesn't the same thing happen between those people who use 'V' and the vampires who supply it?

When it comes to that, how come Sookie didn't have trippy visions after tasting Eric's blood?

Showrunners - no matter the series - must hate people like me.......

Thanks for pointing this out, Mark! And sorry for corrupting the way you watch the Tube.....

BCnU!

ECHOES OF A RED SHIRT

Myka:
Having intel in the field keeps an agent alive, Pete.
But Artie acts like keeping us alive isn't a priority.
To him we're just...

Pete:
Redshirts?

Myka:
Yeah.

Pete:
Okay. First, he doesn't think we're redshirts.
And second, that's so cool you knew what I meant.
'Warehouse 13'

Boone:
Red shirt.....
You ever watch 'Star Trek'?

Locke:
No, not really.

Boone:
The crew guys that would go down to the planet with the main guys,
the captain and the guy with the pointy ears,
they always wore red shirts and they always got killed.

Locke:
Yeah?

Boone:
Yeah.

Locke:
Sounds like a piss poor captain.
'Lost'

BCnU!