CRAIG'S LISTED

The Larry Craig scandal was a toe-tapping non-musical in which the Idaho Senator was arrested for soliciting a homosexual encounter in the men's room of the Minnesota airport. It was widely reported in TV news reports; it was the subject of countless late night monologue jokes; and it was probably satirized in a comedy sketch somewhere. Senator Craig even got a prime time special out of it - not that anybody actually watched it.

The historical events of Toobworld pretty much follow those of the real world, with some revision due to script demands. (For instance, the reversal of fortunes in the battle of Five Forks during the Civil War can be attributed to the hay fever of a soldier named Wilton Parmenter.) We can assume that what has occurred in the real world has also happened in Toobworld, but it's always nice to get confirmation.

Something of the sort has taken place with the Larry Craig scandal. On last Sunday's 'Brothers & Sisters', a political strategist named Isaac was brought in on a consult by Kitty Walker, communications director for Robert McCallister's presidential campaign. By the way she hemmed and hawed about why she called him, Isac wondered if McCallister had been caught tapping his foot for sex in a Minnesota airport bathroom.

Larry Craig's name was never mentioned, but it's o'bvious he was the inspiration for Isaac's assumption.

So even though Robert McCallister is the senator from tele-California instead of Dianne Feinstein, Toobworld resembles the real world enough so that Larry Craig is the senator from TV-Idaho.

Sorry, Idahoans.

BCnU!
Toby OB

THE HAT SQUAD: NORMAN MAILER

Trapper:
"Frank! What are you doing?"

Frank Burns:
"Burning books."

Hawkeye:
"Oh. Any special reason, Dr. Hitler?"

Frank Burns:
"One of the greatest living Americans is coming
And I'm not going to let him see some of the trash that's read around here."

Trapper:
"Plato's Republic? The Life of Red Grange?"

Hawkeye:
"Revolutionaries."

Frank Burns:
"Right!"

Trapper:
"Robinson Crusoe?"

Hawkeye:
"Everybody runs around half naked."

Trapper:
"Norman Mailer."

Frank Burns:
"It's got *that word* in it."
'M*A*S*H'

If Frank meant the bleep that I think he meant, actually Mailer coined the word "fug" to replace it....

Even in the Television Universe, Norman Mailer was a polarizing presence. Along with the TV characters who reviled his work, there were also those who wanted to aspire to his skills and power with the written word.

Billy Campbell:
"I'm a writer."
Alison Parker Armstrong:
"Writer? What kind of writer?"
Billy Campbell:
"A novelist."
Alison Parker Armstrong:
"You mean like Jackie Collins?"
Billy Campbell:
"No, I mean like Norman Mailer."
'Melrose Place'

Just based on the references to Mailer and his books would be enough to accept that he had a televersion of himself living in Toobworld. But Mailer is one of a handful of writers who could be found living in the same universe as the characters he wrote about. He finally made his way into the League of Themselves by sitting down to an interview at the Dragonfly Inn in Stars Hollow, Connecticut. (Real interviews on news magazines and other types of TV profiles don't really count towards the League of Themselves, unless something remarkable happened during them.)

As Norman Mailer himself described it, his televersion was a "cantankerous curmudgeon" who told a journalist (played by his son Stephen) that his favorite authors were Garcia-Marquez, James Joyce, and Tolstoy. Behind the scenes, it seems that landing Mailer to appear as himself on 'Gilmore Girls' only happened because one of the writers was friends with Stephen Mailer. Otherwise, it may never have happened: "I hate sitcoms," Mailer said. "I don't wanna go near 'em."

Luckily we now have his actual presence locked into the TV Universe, and thanks to syndication, he's gained a different kind of immortality. Because here in the real world, Norman Mailer died today at the age of 84.

BCnU.....
Toby OB

"A lot of exceptional writers contribute to Playboy.
There's Philip Roth, uh, Norman Mailer, the late Roald Dahl."
Dr. Joel Fleischman
'Northern Exposure'

PRUNING A ZONK

Hollywood TV show producer Freddy Prune confessed to Drs. Sean McNamara and Christian Troy that he had stolen some of his script ideas from 'Chicago Hope'. And if he continued with the practice they would sue him.

O'Bviously in the TV world, some sort of TV series, perhaps more in the line of a reality show, was filmed at the famous hospital in Chicago after the actual series from the real world went off the air. Because Freddy couldn't be talking about the real 'Chicago Hope' series by David E. Kelley; otherwise, that would be a major Zonk between it and 'Nip/Tuck'.

BCnU!
Toby OB

JACKING OFF A PHILLY ZONK

While out patrolling his Philadelphia neighborhood in a twisted version of Crime Watch, Dennis Reynolds brought along a junkyard cat which he named Agent Jack Bauer.

There's definitely no fear of a Zonk in this, as 'It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia' takes place in the main Toobworld, while '24' definitely is quarantined off in its own TV dimension, what with all of the Presidential administrations it's worked its way through. (I don't even watch the series, but I'm thinking they've gone through six so far - not all of them complete terms of office, of course.)

This is not to say that '24' necessarily had to be a TV show to the characters of Earth Prime-Time. Jack Bauer could have actually existed in the main Toobworld. Perhaps he became famous, a household name, after foiling some terrorist plot to destroy the country or assassinate the President - most likely within a twenty-four hour time period.

He may have even died in doing so, and as such became even more famous - getting schools named after him, memorials erected in his name, and having scraggly cats bearing his name as well.

Either that, or he moved back home to Springfield to be with the other members of the Bauer family (as seen on 'Guiding Light').......

BCnU!
Toby OB

PRISONER OF TOOBWORLD

The following post is brought to you by my Little Buddy Sean, father of my god-daughter and currently warping impressionable minds in Taiwan as an English teacher........

"OK, you listen to me, Redzo!
You either get on board, or your gonna wake up on that Island
With Phil Donahue and the electric car, you understand me?"
Jack Donaghy
'30 Rock'

I would propose that by 2007, the year this episode of '30 Rock' is set in, The Village has changed hands from whomever owned it back when number 6 was there to a huge multi-national conglomeration of corporations. (According to the flow chart in the episode "The Rural Juror", NBC is owned by a wig company...., it's all connected, and in that same mindset, is there ever really a number 1?).

True, the Village is only confirmed as an island in the Tooniverse ('The Simpsons'), but still... what else could he be referencing?

Donaghy is well enough connected to know about it, but far enough off his rocker to mention it so casually. Still, I have no doubt that Greenzo woke up the next morning as a number, not a free man.

Sean "Shoe Hand"

CARE FOR A THREE-WAY?

Thursday's big crossover between 'CSI' and 'Without A Trace' was a little too "business as usual"; nothing about it really was excitng enough to merit the special treatment. Still, not all Sweeps events need to be larger than life extravaganzas.

And whether they meant to or not, they tossed in a very small third crossover that ignored network borders and linked to a show on a rival network.

At one point during the first hour ('CSI'), a phone call was placed to the Tangiers Hotel in order to get information on their suspect. The Tangiers Hotel has also been featured as a rival to the Montecito on 'Las Vegas' over the last few years. And the name goes back to the movie "Casino", so these other mentions are probably tips of the hats to the Scorcese flick.

But within the context of Toobworld, it now exists in the TV Universe and links 'CSI' and 'Without A Trace' to 'Las Vegas'.

BCnU!
Toby OB

WGA: THE STRIKE

One of my bestest of friends, "I.V.", went out during her lunch hour to show her support for the Writers' Guild. As visitors to Toobworld must know, the WGA is on strike to get their fair share of the profits from "new media". The Guild hasn't been on strike since 1988, and their deal back then didn't have much foresight about the advancements in technology and in the ways to deliver TV shows and movies to an audience. So this strike hopes to rectify that situation; as such, it may last a lot longer than the last one.

Here's I.V.'s report from the picket line:

Got back from the picket line a little while ago. It's pretty sad. There are about 30 chilly and damp picketers corraled in a pen too small for them to be able to march effectively. When I asked, they said they do take "civilians," but it was already way too crowded in that little pen.

Somebody had just delivered a large stack of flyers listing the names/addresses/phone numbers of all the major network execs to a young actor thrown out of work by the strike. I offered to split the pile with him and took half the pile and handed them out on the other side of the plaza. They seemed a little incredulous that someone not in the business would volunteer to do this on a lunch hour. Also sad. But this actor guy thanked me several times.

Gotta say it's not very high profile and a scene that the media is going to be able to ignore very easily.

And yesterday's turnout of lots of high-profile celebs was not the case today. I guess celebs don't come out in the rain.

When I heard about how the writers being penned in like cattle, the somnambulant socialist in me stirred for a few minutes, angered over the restrictions to our "guaranteed" freedom of assembly. But I.V. then mentioned this:

I think the main problem is that they're out on the sidewalk, and any larger pen area would impede the ability of pedestrians to get by. I don't think it's a Republican National Convention-type situation.

When she got back to her version of 'The Office', I.V. typed up what was on the flyer and asked me to spread the word via Inner Toob. As a supporter for the rights of the writers, I'm more than happy to do so:

WHAT YOU CAN DO:

Call or Write These Media Executives and Tell Them: Give The Writers A Fair Share Of The Billions Your Company Makes From The Content They Create. I Want My Favorite Shows Back Soon!

Anne Sweeney
President
Disney-ABC Television Group
The Walt Disney Company
500 S. Buena Vista St.
Burbank, CA 91521-4581
818-560-1000

Kevin Reilly
President
Fox Entertainment
Fox Broadcasting, 10201
West Pico Boulevard
Los Angeles, CA 90064-2606
310-369-1000

Bruce Rosenblum
President
Warner Bros. Television Group
Warner Bros. Studios
3400 Riverside Drive
Burbank, CA 91505
818-943-6000

Philippe Dauman
President/CEO
Viacom
1515 Broadway
New York, NY 10036-5794
212-258-6000

Leslie Moonves
President/CEO
CBS Corporation
51 West 52nd Street
New York, NY 10019-6101
212-975-4321

Jeff Zucker
President/CEO
NBC Universal
100 Universal City Plaza
Universal City, CA 91608-1002
818-777-1000

This is the front of the flyer:

AN OPEN LETTER FROM THE WRITERS ON THE PICKET LINE

We are the people who write your favorite TV shows -- comedies, dramas, soaps, late night and more -- and favorite movies. We're anxious to get back to work. But first we need to be heard.

The media business is healthy. Execs are well compensated, but we're not sharing in the success. The companies make money from online, DVR, mobile, video-games, and DVD. But, as an example, we only get a nickel for every DVD of our work that's sold.

We're only asking for a fair share not only in the present, but also in the future. We're proposing a flexible model of revenue sharing that will work with whatever technology comes next.

Residuals are our life support system. Writing for TV and film is seasonal work. Most of us don't earn regular paychecks. Many of us don't even qualify for healthcare benefits. We need residuals to pay our bills until we get the next TV show or film. There's really no other way for us to survive in this type of business.

So that's why we are out on this picket line. We'd rather be holed up in the writers' rooms, keeping you informed and entertained. But, in the meantime, until this strike gets settled fairly and equitably, we thank you for your support.

Writers Guild of America, East

As Ken Levine said in his blog (link to the left), "The stars that REALLY support the strike will be the ones walking the line in a month." And it doesn't have to be just the stars. The writers will appreciate all the support they can get, especially as it drags on and no longer is the chic thing to support. (It seems to me that most of the media is focused on the strike out in Hollywood, where the high-profile stars can be found out supporting the strike. As the weather gets worse here in the East, it's going to be tough times for the strikers.)

Their work is vital to the continued existence and expansion of Toobworld and they deserve what they're asking for. Hopefully you'll support the WGA in their cause by writing to those addresses listed above to hammer the point home.

Thanks!
Toby OB

"Dealing with network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks."
Eric Sevareid
[also attributed to Morley Safer]

VERY VERY VIEIRA

Meredith Vieira appeared as herself in last night's episode of '30 Rock', in her duties as a presenter on 'Today'. Here is a list of other appearances by Ms. Vieira's televersion:

'All My Children'
'Bette'
'SportsNight'
and
'Spin City' - but that takes place in an altermate TV dimension.

Additionally, the use of the 'Today' show in a fictional way links '30 Rock' to 'Seinfeld', 'The Nanny', 'Will & Grace', and other sitcoms.

BCnU!
Toby OB

HAVE YOURSELF A VERY POSH WANG

This being November Sweeps, all of the shows are pulling out their big guns to garner those advertising rates. Not that it matters, as the WGA strike may bring a hasty end to this TV season.

(By the way? Stick to your guns, Writers!)

Tonight on 'Ugly Betty', two celebrities upped their own ante in the League of Themselves. There was Vera Wang, who designed Wilhelmina's wedding dress as well as the gown Victoria Beckham (Posh Spice - well, I can't expect all the visitors to Toobworld will know who she is!) would be wearing as the maid of honor.

Not that she got the chance - tired of being upstaged by Posh's presence in the Big Apple, Wilhelmina had her locked away in a storage room before the ceremony.

Other celebrities were mentioned but not seen, which doesn't negate there presence in Toobworld. Quincy Jones was seated in the fourth row at the church; Rosie O'Donnell and Elizabeth Hasselbeck were seated at the same table for the reception; and Mayor Mike Bloomberg gave Mrs. Becks the key to the city.

Mayor Bloomberg appeared as himself in a couple of episodes of 'Law & Order'. In connection to 'The View', the televersion of Elisabeth Hasselbeck has appeared in the cities of Llanview, ('One Life To Live') and Pine Valley, ('All My Children'). And Quincy Jones not only showed up in episodes of 'The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air' and 'New York Undercover', but he also has a tooniversion, thanks to an appearance on 'The Boondocks'.

As for Rosie's televersion credits, they include:

'The Larry Sanders Show'
'Primetime Glick'
'Beverly Hills 90210'
'The Nanny'
'Curb Your Enthusiasm'
"Jackie's Back"
and
'Spin City' (but that's in an alternate dimension)

As for Vera Wang, this marked her first Toobworld appearance in a fictional capacity and for a few short minutes she was snarkily nasty! It was also Victoria Beckham's inaugural inclusion into the League of Themselves amid all those other TV appearances. But it established her presence in the TV Universe and she can grow from there.

I must sound like I'm working the runway commentary for Full Frontal Fashion reports.....

BCnU!
Toby OB

TELE-GENETIC SEAFARING

"Captain Sligo" was a seafarer who decided to settle down near Dodge City as seen on 'Gunsmoke'. He carried on a quick and contentious courtship with his next-door neighbor, the widow Josephine Burney, and told her that he expected her to bear him ten sons. Obviously the episode ended long before we saw how

It's my opinion that they had at least one son - or perhaps a daughter. And that child had a daughter who would grow up to become the mother of Harriman Nelson. (According to Daffron and Delaney, her name was Elizabeth Bridget.)

Harriman Nelson took to the seas, as did his great-grandfather Aron before him. After rising to the rank of Admiral in the US Navy, Nelson founded his own science center, the Nelson Institute of Marine Research.

This theory of relateeveety can't be proven, that's why it's a theory. And that's what I love about it the most!

BCnU!
Toby OB